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So You Want to Write Your Own Book?

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I'm a pessimist. The very fact that I work in a publishing firm makes me a horrible person to be with, especially when it comes to the subject matter of books. No, I'm not taking back the fact that I've gleefully announced to the whole world that I love my job. I do, I sincerely do?hey it's been a lifelong dream to be able to make books. And here I am now.

Except I never did count on 90% of the job being in the business of mis-education.

But then again. You can't do much. Here you are at the other end of the continuum, the so-called creme de la creme when it comes to prowess of the English Language (although I beg to differ), and you are painfully aware of the fact that Harry Potter is too difficult for most 5th Formers.

So anyway, when I tell people that I'm an editor for an established publishing firm, the first feedback I get is always like this.

'Oh so you write books lah. Wah, earning lots of money lah.'

Darn. You think what? Stephen King ah? WTF, you think Stephen King earns as much as HarperCollins? You think JK Rowling earns as much as Bloomsbury? In most cases, writers only earn a very small royalty of what the publisher takes. And editors earn a very, very, very tiny per cent of what the publisher takes (after the publisher further breaks it down into overheads and what not).

And the workload is horrible, horrible. Editors like me DREAD reading newbies and wannabe's hopeful letters. This is the sickening truth. We hardly read new manuscripts. We'd rather rely on trustworthy, deadline exact-ers who write dreadfully boring scripts. You come to us with a sample chapter, or maybe a complete and full text, but if you are unknown, and we can't trust that you'll be able to accept criticisms (90% of authors CANNOT take the line, 'You need to polish up your work, I'm saying this to help you write better'), don't even hope that we'll read your manuscript. We even have a template for rejection letters that we turn to faithfully whenever we see a hopeful manuscript lying on the desk. And please lah, don't bore us to death with page after page of your credentials (I once read a writer-wannabe's resume that went up to 11 pages). Sometimes, the higher your academic qualifications are, or the more your experiences are, the more you'll put us off. You'll come across, from the papers, as a person who's probably very, very difficult to work with. And there goes your chances.

Don't ever, ever attempt to blow your own trumpet in your cover letters to publishers.

Moral of the story? If you want to publish your own book, go find a very, very small company, or else do self-publishing. Ooh of course, get a professional editor to be your advisor. Also get a professional typesetter and designer, and artist, if necessary. You'll probably improve better that way. And chances are, you'll definitely see your work on the shelves. And who knows, it might sell really well, and you'll become the next biggest thing after Rowling.