just minishorts.

It's sickening to be here, sickening I tell you. You've got dreams of becoming a writer, own a column, then write a book, then train some people, then get promoted to a credible editor somewhere along the way, but somewhere along the way a screw got lost, and somehow, you end up in the fastest lane–you've arrived there long before you wanted to.

But it was nice, you know. It was very nice. You got to rub shoulders with the who's who in the line, you met people in the academia you otherwise would only hope to meet–you even had the opportunity to attend cocktail dos with them and pretend to be smart and savvy over a glasses of wine and beer. You got to act smart and believe you're smart, (someone once told me, 'If it sounds good, it is good;' that's how superficial this life is) and made people trust you're smart and hence your judgement was right. You lived behind a brand, and after a while, you became the brand, you're pretty proud of it.

'Take ownership of your titles,' my ex-boss used to tell me. I was clinging on to the line as if it were my life, and at one point in time, I had enough nerves to tell the more important people off for doing ugly things to otherwise pretty covers.

Now?

I come in on Monday, bright, full of hopes, bursting with energy, and a freaking argument over an RM30 allowance claim crushes me into the dust. There goes the rest of the week, just like that.

If you're a manager, I've got to tell it to you, your team's morale depends highly on how you manage them, and it's not about making sure the deadlines are met by hook or by crook. It's about making sure your workers want the deadlines to be met because they honestly want to meet them.

I'm not about to be bothered by deadlines anymore. I don't meet them, I get reprimanded, I meet them on time, I get reprimanded, I meet them ahead of time, I still get reprimanded. I'm not about to be bothered by reports anymore too. I make a good report, you take it, change the fonts and numbers, say it's your report and thanked me for the 'feedback' I gave you. I make phone calls, I get information, and put my personal time aside to get things done, and you tell me it's because I procrastinate in the office so OT is not accounted for because it's justified.

You tell me, what's the difference between working well and not working well?