just minishorts.

I finished The Da Vinci Code in five hours. It's the first book I've read in ages. First non-self-help book (I was literally swimming in Florence Littauer's Personality Plus a few months ago, and then passing my Mars and Venus on a Date to friends while explicating defining pages from John Gray's invaluable tips for the modern serial dater.) And then Teck Liet was raving over Dan Brown's thriller and how it was a page a minute kind of turner, so I got it.

Now I'm looking at the stacks of books I bought from bookfairs and stole from OUP's ravishing warehouse takeouts and thinking, 'Where should I start?'

I've got an unfinished copy of Different Seasons (I'm stuck after Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption) and Sylvia Nassar's A Beautiful Mind. I've got a pwetty RM 1 copy of Austen's Pride and Prejudice that's begging to be re-read… and then more obscure marked up copies of the Oxford Classics, ranging from The Mill on the Floss to The Moonstone and The Old Curiosity Shop. And I sort of promised myself to re-read the latest installment of Harry Potter several months ago. That's left undone still.

Tomorrow's a back-to-work day. I wonder if I'll ever get around to finishing all these books AND my thesis AND my work AND whatever's left hiding the cupboard under the unbrushed dust. With all the time I've left to myself, I guess it's just a matter of choosing whether to sleep, play with unknown shooters, to dilly dally as should a 24-year-old I've-just-come-of-age-woman usually does, or to absolutely dig out all those organizers I used to keep when I was dating that guy who manufactured organizers (now that was an absolute dig, I've got all sorts of diaries with my name engraved on them) and put them to good use at last.

Or maybe I'll just settle back into trying to make sure my Essentials of English gets put to good use and slip in a line or two of those into the performative art of legal plagiary. Do you understand?

And The Incredibles beckons me this weekend.

BTW, most people seem to misunderstand what's happening. Its really a laugh, considering this: weiyo, don't lah speculate. I know, I know, its a drama unfurling before your very eyes, but GAAAAAHHHH…. drama pun bukan drama sangat lerrrrrrr…. get it?

I've been overdosing on Green Tea again yeah.

Why am I crapping so much? I'll tell you why. The holidays are ending. It's a sad, sad day for all of us. Raya or no Raya. Back to work isn't ever good news.

I'm going back to shooting obscure strangers. See ya.

What I did.

Something.

Why.

Because it was necessary.

Really? You could have opted to ignore and let things go on.

Situations? YOU don't know the situation. It's not just about knocking on doors. Its about confusion and half broken slits through the doors, where the damp air seeps through and causes an uncomfortable mix of 'you-dunno-what'.

Of course she knows a lot of people read this. In that sense, its both a blessing, and a disguise.

So this was what happened. She opted NOT to ignore anymore, instead, she decided to take the bull by its horns and look it straight in the eye.

'This. This. What do you want? Honestly I don't even know what I want.'

And then. It's settled. Finally.

She can only hope it's settled.

Hopefully.

Really, hopefully.

Que sera, sera. The future's not ours to see.

I'll let you in to another secret. The I-ching? It's REALLY, REALLY accurate, if you are willing to take bad news as answers. And yeah. Destiny? It's really in your hands. It can give you bad news now, and that bad news MIGHT even mean forever, but a sudden breeze, and things can change. It can give you good news too, and that good news even suggests forever, but a sudden cough, and things twist for the worst.

That's life. That's life.

Whatever will be will be, que sera sera.