just minishorts.

I seem to be bumping into a lot of people lately. Not just online. Well I bump into a lot of people online! You never know who'll meet. Here's another take, you never know who you'll meet at 1 Utama. I think this must be the third year in a row I've bumped into that particular friend. I'm not sure if you have a memory like mine, but its quite amusing now that I seem to walk into your face once a year in 1 Utama. And it's always a 'hi, bye' scenario, with promises to meet up over a cuppa. Which never ever happens. Unless tonight we break that tradition of 'bumping up accidentally' and really get some limau ais for a change.

Not like I can take coffee after 5 p.m., that is. But we'll see…

So anyway, it's been 5 longs years since I last donned a uniform (that awful, awful, oh-too-long turquoise pinafore I used to wear, that is), and what I do regret, for now, is my severe lack of friends in the feminine department. I can not-so-proudly announce that since departing from the school girl days, I've only been closer to two girl friends from high school… one who's currently residing happily-ever-after in Berkeley, the other whom I'm sort of a fair-weathered mate to (I seem to only start writing to her when I'm undergoing a break up)… Counting in all the friends I've made in 24 years, there's actually less than 15 girls that I can actually hold longer than 20-minutes conversations with… and out of those 60% are friends I've just made in the last 2 years.

So I was speaking to Darren online last night, and he and I exchanged soliloquies on pretty accurate descriptions of 'girls like you'. Things that I will not reproduce here.

Just that, if tonight is the usual Friday's out night, I will be the lone girl amongst 4-5 boys again, listening them talk about Need for Speed and Rome Total War (which I have no interest what-so-ever in)… while I, in an obviously conspicuous fashion, sip my favourite limau panas and slip in intellectual-like one-liners to ensure the night goes on long and that they don't feel awkward about my presence.

Then again, sometimes I don't even realise that I'm different from them. I bet they don't realise either.

You're a girl, not a girl. You're a woman, not a woman. And then, I remember what my ex used to say about me, 'You're almost a guy. Almost.'

And that's the whole fucking problem.