A year ago, I asked a friend her opinion of how I should handle a particular aspect in life. I had decisions to make, and I had come to a state of confusion. I didn't know things, and I seeked answers to unanswerable questions. She blogged a story, and I reproduced it in my blog, almost a year ago.

I'm a sucker for inspiring tales like this, and very often, the essence and message of these tales affect the choices and decisions that I make. This was the same story that made me 'charge ahead', so to speak, having been given the motivation to 'try in order to find out'.

Maybe it's time I reproduced the tale again.

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question " What kind of man are you looking for?"

She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking "Do you really want to know?"

Reluctantly, he said "Yes."

She began to expound… "As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can't do for myself. I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man…or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, "What can you bring to the table?"

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money. She quickly corrected his thought and stated, "I am not referring to money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life."

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.

She said "I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man. I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked… believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for perfection financially because I don't need a financial burden. I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded. I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive…he just has to be worthy. God made woman to be a help mate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself."

When she finished her spill, she looked at him . He sat there with a puzzled look on his face.

He said, "You are asking a lot."

She replied, "I'm worth a lot."

A year later, I did find things out. I suppose many of the questions I asked then are still unanswerable, but I've walked that chosen path (affected by the above passage, yes!!) long enough to gather enough information to fill in some of the blanks that were startling me in my life at that point in time. It's rather ironic, that the very same tale that affected my decisions is a reference for recollection, this time around. But it makes you ponder, doesn't it? When you lose in your efforts, don't lose out on the lesson.

Don't we all try to cling on to lessons?

As 2005 approaches, I'll leave you all with a brief hiatus, and a promise that I'll be back early next year. Don't wait up. I'm fine. I'm just approaching a mid- quarter life crisis, and trying to make sure I reach that stage of my life with grace. Till then, Happy Christmas, and a Happy New Year.