The Worth of a Woman
Filed under Being a Woman
A year ago, I asked a friend her opinion of how I should handle a particular aspect in life. I had decisions to make, and I had come to a state of confusion. I didn't know things, and I seeked answers to unanswerable questions. She blogged a story, and I reproduced it in my blog, almost a year ago.
I'm a sucker for inspiring tales like this, and very often, the essence and message of these tales affect the choices and decisions that I make. This was the same story that made me 'charge ahead', so to speak, having been given the motivation to 'try in order to find out'.
Maybe it's time I reproduced the tale again.
In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question " What kind of man are you looking for?"
She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking "Do you really want to know?"
Reluctantly, he said "Yes."
She began to expound… "As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can't do for myself. I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man…or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, "What can you bring to the table?"
The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money. She quickly corrected his thought and stated, "I am not referring to money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life."
He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.
She said "I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man. I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked… believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for perfection financially because I don't need a financial burden. I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded. I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive…he just has to be worthy. God made woman to be a help mate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself."
When she finished her spill, she looked at him . He sat there with a puzzled look on his face.
He said, "You are asking a lot."
She replied, "I'm worth a lot."
A year later, I did find things out. I suppose many of the questions I asked then are still unanswerable, but I've walked that chosen path (affected by the above passage, yes!!) long enough to gather enough information to fill in some of the blanks that were startling me in my life at that point in time. It's rather ironic, that the very same tale that affected my decisions is a reference for recollection, this time around. But it makes you ponder, doesn't it? When you lose in your efforts, don't lose out on the lesson.
Don't we all try to cling on to lessons?
As 2005 approaches, I'll leave you all with a brief hiatus, and a promise that I'll be back early next year. Don't wait up. I'm fine. I'm just approaching a mid- quarter life crisis, and trying to make sure I reach that stage of my life with grace. Till then, Happy Christmas, and a Happy New Year.
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Dec07
December 7, 2004 at 3:30 am
*great food for thought there* and all the best to you too
December 7, 2004 at 4:01 pm
Wow, that’s a cool read. Hmmm…*still thinking*
Good luck in your life, and I hope you find what you’re looking for.
December 7, 2004 at 5:00 pm
Not even midway through your life and already in a mid-life crisis eh? More like a quarter-life crisis, if you ask me.
BTW, can always call me to yam char anytime.
December 7, 2004 at 5:02 pm
mmm… finally the woman speaks. ok lah will patiently await your return …
December 8, 2004 at 1:43 am
i chanced upon your blog a year back and read this story. It rang a bell then.
i chanced upon it again today and realised more than ever how much truth is contained in it. A woman of this day and age, why is it so difficult to find someone you can be submissive to? Someone worthy. I know what you mean.
December 8, 2004 at 2:16 am
Will be here awaiting your return. Till then, take care yah ?
December 8, 2004 at 9:21 am
The men you are looking for can be found in this book:
http://www.atlasshrugged.tv/
December 11, 2004 at 12:45 am
AWM: That’s not fair to your partner though. Think of it this way – Would you live happily knowing that you’re just a girl/guy someone settles for?
December 11, 2004 at 4:32 pm
Everyone has its price. The problem is if the person sells her/himself at a much higher price than what he/she is worth.
It’s like singaporean women now having to compete with vietnamese women. When the price is too high, they just look somewhere else.
December 13, 2004 at 2:39 pm
fetch my slippers and give me a massage, woman.
December 13, 2004 at 9:15 pm
That just brought back heaps of memories as to the ups and downs of my past relationships so much so that I remind myself constantly of the lessons learnt. Though I must say that I have experienced first hand what it feels like to really wear the pants in a relationship. Find it so hard to believe that some men aren’t men at all.
December 13, 2004 at 11:46 pm
Rossublu: You mean if Sarah McLachlan settles for me would I mind? Hellllllll… no!
December 14, 2004 at 11:55 am
I can’t believe I just wasted 5minutes of my live reading that junk. You ought to be shot for writing such a piece of trash, you hobo! Insecure bitches like you use blogs and waste precious time pimping yourself out like a stupid piece of whore that you are.
December 15, 2004 at 3:18 am
you should read more though… Mr Twinkies… you can’t spell for nuts.
December 15, 2004 at 11:46 am
wow… Mr T wasted TEN MINUTES reading the post, and ANOTHER few minutes commenting on it. His time is really slipping away eh?
December 15, 2004 at 11:53 am
But the beautiful part is.. Twinkies is rite. Yes, life is ironic…
December 15, 2004 at 12:36 pm
its a typical case of you win some, you lose some… that’s the price of ‘fame’… or whatever minishorts goes through with this site.
of course, if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all. i say its far better to be direct and honest to a person on his/her faults, rather than leave flaming remarks signed off with anonymity.
December 15, 2004 at 5:46 pm
guys, let Mr T go – not worth choking up CK’s comments section by replying to him.
December 16, 2004 at 3:53 am
AWM: Sarah McLachlan? Babe, surely you can do better than that
December 18, 2004 at 6:27 pm
you will know your worth when the right man comes into your life.
all the best in your quest.
December 19, 2004 at 10:51 pm
twinkies is so right abt CK. anyway i have to admit i dont like CK since Day 1 i know CK. CK always think she’s so good in this and that. sad to say, there are many gals out there who are better than you and not cocky as you. i think you should like change and stop using the blog to “advertise” yourself. good day!!
December 21, 2004 at 3:23 am
hey havent been bloging lately?
December 25, 2004 at 5:33 pm
Rossublu, none better… her voice is the best.
December 28, 2004 at 6:10 pm
the turn of a new year tends to do that to us. but i’m sure you’ll find your way. *hugs* have a happy & blessed new year, chooki! ^__~
January 3, 2005 at 4:23 pm
There’s truth in that piece… but then again…sometimes women put their worth so high they kinda miss out on guys that might be really good for them…