life, love, *motherhood, and then more
Archive for February, 2005
So far
Feb 28th
So good. I've crossed Day-4 of my tenure as a self-employed editor and things have been great because I haven't been doing anything but sleep really late, wake up really late, hang out with boyfriend, quarrel with Mummy and control seething glares at my 4th uncle's 30-year-old mistress.
I have to mention the glares because the bitch was flirting with my boyfriend during karaoke session last night and we-who-truly-belong-to-the-family-via-blood-relations all felt the woman had no place in the scheme of great things.
Now this was what-the-fuck happened.
We sang Chinese songs.
My uncle's mistress is English educated. Elder cuz and I thought we should make her happy and put in some English oldies for the chick. OK lah, poor thing, the scorned black sheep who obviously didn't belong.
So we came to this song called 'Only You' (that one that goes, '…can make my world seem right…', and I was begging Eric to sing with me. So my boyfriend obliged, on condition I sang with him. Conversation went something like this.
'Want me to sing meh?'
'Urrrr….. sing lah… you can sing this song pretty well…'
'Okay, okay. On condition you sing with me…'
Lookie here, the moment Eric said that, the freaky bitch said.
'Oh okay. Let's sing together.'
Like what the fuck? My uncle's like 30 years your senior, and you wanna hit on my boyfriend? Bad enough that you've left the family in shambles, you've infected your leechy hands all over the extended family, and now, you're flirting with my boyfriend?
Sheesh…
Okay. Please forgive me for my profanities in the above post. But I just CANNOT tolerate this nonsense.
Writing for money
Feb 26th
Well. I always wanted to become an author, but my ideals of authoring for a royalty was equated with something far, far more glamourous. Never in my entire being on earth have I imagined writing books for students to study with.
I've been on a freelance job hunt, and in the process, I've been asked if I were interested in writing books for particular markets.
'If you don't want to use your name, you can use a pseudonym. Not a problem.'
'Urm.'
'I want eight sets of SPM model test papers from you. I'll pay you a proper sum for each set.'
'I don't want a lump sum can ah?'
'If you want a royalty, we don't do that.'
'Why don't we do this? I'll work on these existing titles first, and if you like what I do to the work, then we discuss the royalty division.'
'Okay. Let's see what happens.'
So much for quitting the job and looking to a life of freedom. Now what I've got to do is to empty out the heavy boxes, and then start off with the work. Eight tests, equals eight reading passages, and several other stuff that needs a lot of brain squeezing. Why was it that I'm doing educational publishing again?
Because it's the only serious publishing in the country that makes money.
Now that fact alone makes me wish that the country had the likes of Simon and Schuster or Bloomsbury in the picture—and the likes of these will accept our materials. However, being a professional in the business, I have my own views on why it is so difficult for South East Asian writers like us to break into the international market. We'll leave that for another day.
Urm…
Feb 26th
OK. So now I've left the organization and am all alone. The day I left, it was Chap Goh Meh, and Eric had taken leave from work just to fetch me to the office and back home. He put a huge box of Kleenex in the back seat, and he was certain that I would burst out in tears.
'What makes you think I would cry?'
'Well, it's your first job, and I've seen people cry mah.'
'Uh.'
'I think you will cry.'
'I bet that I won't. I don't give a shit about things no more.'
'I bet the movie and lunch that you would.'
'Deal.'
I didn't cry. The day I said goodbye, I wrote four thank you cards to my immediate seniors (and the Managing Director), knocked on the doors and handed them my thanks and 'appreciation'. Although I'm not sure if the word ought to be placed within the inverted commas—after all, I did learn a great deal at Fajar the office. But the thought of leaving was welcoming, and the moment I left the premises, I felt wonderfully released and fresh… and knowing that I would be back on Friday (to deliver some agreements, for free, mind you), just made me realize that in this book business, you can't leave everything behind as you wish.
I'm starting work immediately though. It doesn't mean I'm not busy, or that I'm loitering around. I've got some books up my sleeves, and you'll see me crapping about horrid authors still. What to do? This is my rice bowl, so to speak. A girl's got to do, what a girl's got to do. Get it?
Aih. A toast to life. Or rather, the lack of it. Well. A toast to freedom, independency, and freelance jobs. And yes, if you need someone to help in some editing job, you know where to go. I think I can use some more petty cash.
Porn—Malaysian Mamak Variety
Feb 19th
We had a yeesang session yesterday at ABC Mamak, over in Happy Garden, KL. Anyway I'm not going to talk about it, because April has done the honours and posted photos of the event.
The story is about the Uncle Ho Agent who walked around the tables asking the patrons to buy a disc or two. Now you see, Eric had told me how it had been prior to my entry into the Bujang Lapuk club (includes Nick, Leslie and Eric).
'Before you joined us for mamak, the guy would walk up to us and ask us whether you want sam zhai or sei zhai'
'Mmmm.'
'You know what sam zhai, sei zhai means right?'
'Three star, four star?'
'Smart girl.'
'Thank you. So why now no ask already?'
'Got girl here he doesn't ask anymore. He just goes, '13 going on 30′, 'Incredible' now. So different.'
'I see…I wonder.'
'Mmmm?'
'I wonder what it would be like if either Nick or you asked him for the sam zhai or sei zhai stuff. While I'm here. Buy for me to see… '
Nick and Eric stared at me.
Eric, 'You must be joking.'
Nick, 'Ooooooohhhhhhhhh Eric, you've got the freaky girlfriend ahahahhahah.'
Me, 'I'm not kidding lah.'Eh, I'm serious. I dare you to ask him for sei zhai in front of me. '
Nick, 'No shit.'
This was getting fun. So now I decided to put on the spoilt girlfriend mode, i.e. MANJA-mode. 'Why should I be bluffing? Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh. Buy lah… please…. I want to seeeeeeee…. '
Eric, 'And what will you do if I do buy it? You will watch in front of auntie (that's my mum) is it?'
Me, 'Mmm. Ok. If you'll join in the fun.'
Eric shook his head, mumbled something that sounded like, 'Total loss', and the topic changed. For a while. Soon, the April family and Leslie family came to join in the fun. Nick recounted the events of the evening to the two of them.
Leslie, ' Serious ah you? Eh GOOD GOOD… Super chun… I also want to see Eric buy in front of the girls. Easy only mah. Ask the guy to come lah!!!'
Eric, 'No lah… joking only. '
Leslie, 'Easy only mah… he walks around the area one. Wait I go call him.'
By this time, the Agent was making his third round around the mamak cafe. Leslie screamed for attention. 'BOOSSSS!!!!'
Eric, 'Ehhhh no no nono …. NO!!!!!'
Too late. The seller had came over and Leslie did a fiver as he asked him THE question. 'Boss, got five-star one or not?'
That VCD Agent was really obliging, okay? His 'Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaoooooo' i.e. 'Gooooooooottttt' sounded damn long, and then he asked us very matter-of-factly, 'Who wants to buy?'
All fingers pointed to Eric.
'Ooi. Shit. Don't bai ngo seong toi la!!' (I.e. put me on the table, or put me in the limelight.)
Too late. Mr VCD Agent had pulled up a chair, sat beside Eric and started to rummage in his big school bag. By this time the whole bunch of us were roaring with laughter. Nick was banging his fists on the table and I was trying very hard not to fall off my chair. Eric, on the other hand, put on a very serious face and stared at the guy pulling out the goods for inspection.
Three-inches thick worth of porn CDs were laid out before Eric. Eric proceeded to flip through the titles. He picked one out at random and handed it back to the seller. 'This one nice or not?'
The rest of us nutcases were ROTFLOAO. Nick's on-site commentary didn't help us either, 'Shit look at Eric's face… buy porn also must bargain for the best price. Yoh… look at his face… so serious.'
The business transaction went on while the whole table laughed like a bunch of animals let loose.
Eric, 'Lei gai siew lah' (Recommend me something.)
The Agent flipped a few pieces and took out a CD with the faces of two young Japanese girls on the cover. 'Tender Baby'. Eric took the CD from the guy, flipped it around, passed it to me, looked at me and asked me, 'What you think?'
To which I just burst out in laughter. And he stared at me. Took the CD back from me, and asked the guy, 'Eee goh leng meh?' (You sure this is good to watch?)
'chui hou ge la… bao leng' (these are the best, guaranteed babes)
Nick just went on and on in the background, 'Ooooh shit lah… what for question the guy… just buy it and get it over and done with.'
At this point, the VCD guy said something that just sent us into fits.
'Not funny at all. This is important, everybody should have one for TRAINING purposes.'
Shucks.
We were all shocked into a momentary silence, and the next roar of laughter nearly brought the roof down.
Anyway my boyfriend paid 10 bucks for 'Tender Baby', the seller left us promptly, we had a great good laugh over it. Well, we all, excluding Eric, who just smiled very smugly throughout the whole process like the businessman he is. Now we all have an experience to remember for a very very long time.
April said she's going to write about this also… so we'll just read about it later yeah?
