just minishorts.

We had a yeesang session yesterday at ABC Mamak, over in Happy Garden, KL. Anyway I'm not going to talk about it, because April has done the honours and posted photos of the event.

The story is about the Uncle Ho Agent who walked around the tables asking the patrons to buy a disc or two. Now you see, Eric had told me how it had been prior to my entry into the Bujang Lapuk club (includes Nick, Leslie and Eric).

'Before you joined us for mamak, the guy would walk up to us and ask us whether you want sam zhai or sei zhai'
'Mmmm.'
'You know what sam zhai, sei zhai means right?'
'Three star, four star?'
'Smart girl.'
'Thank you. So why now no ask already?'
'Got girl here he doesn't ask anymore. He just goes, '13 going on 30′, 'Incredible' now. So different.'
'I see…I wonder.'
'Mmmm?'
'I wonder what it would be like if either Nick or you asked him for the sam zhai or sei zhai stuff. While I'm here. Buy for me to see… '

Nick and Eric stared at me.

Eric, 'You must be joking.'
Nick, 'Ooooooohhhhhhhhh Eric, you've got the freaky girlfriend ahahahhahah.'
Me, 'I'm not kidding lah.'Eh, I'm serious. I dare you to ask him for sei zhai in front of me. '
Nick, 'No shit.'

This was getting fun. So now I decided to put on the spoilt girlfriend mode, i.e. MANJA-mode. 'Why should I be bluffing? Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh. Buy lah… please…. I want to seeeeeeee…. '
Eric, 'And what will you do if I do buy it? You will watch in front of auntie (that's my mum) is it?'
Me, 'Mmm. Ok. If you'll join in the fun.'

Eric shook his head, mumbled something that sounded like, 'Total loss', and the topic changed. For a while. Soon, the April family and Leslie family came to join in the fun. Nick recounted the events of the evening to the two of them.

Leslie, ' Serious ah you? Eh GOOD GOOD… Super chun… I also want to see Eric buy in front of the girls. Easy only mah. Ask the guy to come lah!!!'
Eric, 'No lah… joking only. '
Leslie, 'Easy only mah… he walks around the area one. Wait I go call him.'

By this time, the Agent was making his third round around the mamak cafe. Leslie screamed for attention. 'BOOSSSS!!!!'

Eric, 'Ehhhh no no nono …. NO!!!!!'

Too late. The seller had came over and Leslie did a fiver as he asked him THE question. 'Boss, got five-star one or not?'

That VCD Agent was really obliging, okay? His 'Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaoooooo' i.e. 'Gooooooooottttt' sounded damn long, and then he asked us very matter-of-factly, 'Who wants to buy?'

All fingers pointed to Eric.

'Ooi. Shit. Don't bai ngo seong toi la!!' (I.e. put me on the table, or put me in the limelight.)

Too late. Mr VCD Agent had pulled up a chair, sat beside Eric and started to rummage in his big school bag. By this time the whole bunch of us were roaring with laughter. Nick was banging his fists on the table and I was trying very hard not to fall off my chair. Eric, on the other hand, put on a very serious face and stared at the guy pulling out the goods for inspection.

Three-inches thick worth of porn CDs were laid out before Eric. Eric proceeded to flip through the titles. He picked one out at random and handed it back to the seller. 'This one nice or not?'

The rest of us nutcases were ROTFLOAO. Nick's on-site commentary didn't help us either, 'Shit look at Eric's face… buy porn also must bargain for the best price. Yoh… look at his face… so serious.'

The business transaction went on while the whole table laughed like a bunch of animals let loose.

Eric, 'Lei gai siew lah' (Recommend me something.)

The Agent flipped a few pieces and took out a CD with the faces of two young Japanese girls on the cover. 'Tender Baby'. Eric took the CD from the guy, flipped it around, passed it to me, looked at me and asked me, 'What you think?'

To which I just burst out in laughter. And he stared at me. Took the CD back from me, and asked the guy, 'Eee goh leng meh?' (You sure this is good to watch?)

'chui hou ge la… bao leng' (these are the best, guaranteed babes)

Nick just went on and on in the background, 'Ooooh shit lah… what for question the guy… just buy it and get it over and done with.'

At this point, the VCD guy said something that just sent us into fits.

'Not funny at all. This is important, everybody should have one for TRAINING purposes.'

Shucks.

We were all shocked into a momentary silence, and the next roar of laughter nearly brought the roof down.

Anyway my boyfriend paid 10 bucks for 'Tender Baby', the seller left us promptly, we had a great good laugh over it. Well, we all, excluding Eric, who just smiled very smugly throughout the whole process like the businessman he is. Now we all have an experience to remember for a very very long time.

April said she's going to write about this also… so we'll just read about it later yeah?

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