just minishorts.

Of course I'm insecure. I'm a girl woman. I'm (almost) 25. I just starting dating again. I hope to get married (maybe to this one), to have babies one day. Have a good career, be successful… that my hubby is the right person (you never know), and that I'll be the right person for him. Of course I'm insecure.

I mean, who doesn't want to be better that what you already are? I don't like being complacent, but I fall too easily into that trap.

That's the bloody problem, right?

I'm back in full throttle tonight.

So the tale goes like this. I'm insecure when it comes to my bf's ex. The reason is because he was thisclose to marrying her. I tell myself that everyone is entitled to his/her past, and as the current, I don't have the right to question the past memories.

I myself have good memories of my exes. They were good while they lasted, and admittedly, some memories are worth looking back to, and sometimes, worth craving. I cherish every kiss, every touch, but things don't last and I guess they just have to fade into the past. I can accept that.

At least. I tell myself my current has to accept that. But myself, as much as I tell myself that I need to accept his past, sometimes I can't. And I can attribute it to one thing. That insecurity. Maybe that's why I bitch so much, I'm such a awful mess that can't help but slander poor little innocent lambs and label them by the letters of the alphabet. I can't even try to comprehend and accept faults… I just feel this awful lump of wool being clogged into my systems everytime a new information crops up. And then I take a few hours to resume normality again.

Someone tell me this is natural.

Or maybe, I'm just scared, that one day, if I'm meant to be an 'ex' again, it will be the last time I'll ever be able to call myself 'the current'.