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'What have you learnt about life and love? You can never find the perfect person. It is all about learning how to live with differences.'

'Differences? Where do they appear?'

'Beliefs. Lifestyles. Habits. Ideals. The life-long lesson is learning how to co-habit and be happy even amidst all the differences.'

'Be simpler?'

'I don't know. It may be money, it may be family, it may be religion. But where do you find it?'

'I want to fall in love unconditionally, but unconditional doesn't mean giving up my beliefs. I want someone who can accept me for my beliefs, and not coerce me into a lifestyle which I will find hard to accept.'

'Then don't accept.'

'But what if you love? Like how I love.'

'Which do you love more? Yourself? Or the relationship? Or him?'

'I want to love unconditionally.'

'What does loving unconditionally mean?'

'Exactly. What will you advise me to believe?'

'I don't know. What do you believe?'

'That just because I believe in something different doesn't mean that I practise an agama sesat. That the very fact that I have been believing in this for such a long time and have been blessed so far and so long as I have been, deserves respect. That that's all I am asking for, the freedom to be loved for everything I am, including my beliefs.'

'Why now? Why suddenly now?'

'Because, it is only recently that I have begun to feel chided and disrespected. Only recently have I been finding myself sacrificing too much of my very self in order to make another happy and comfortable. Sad. But true.'

'Before?'

'Before, it seemed as if after so long, I have finally found someone who was really going to accept me as I am.'

'And?'

'And maybe, before, I was wrong because I wasn't honest enough. It was wrong of me, sinful of me to betray my own beliefs in order to prove my love. I don't feel like making the mistake anymore.'

'What are you going to do?'

'Continue. Observe. Think. Meditate for clarity. Pray more.'

'Do you love? Would you continue to love? '

'Of course. I would, in my own definition of unconditional. That's why I can accept him for what he is, and that is why I'm not about to change anything about him. I am even willing to follow him, and in the event that I marry him, and have his babies, I am willing to learn his ways and tutor my children to believe in his beliefs. But in performing my traditional duties as a subordinate, I also want to be treated as an equal, i.e. be allowed the freedom to carry on with my beliefs, because that is what I am brought up to be, and what I choose to believe.'

A wise man once told me, 'You should never have to compromise your beliefs in order to earn love from someone whom you think you love.'

A wise woman once told me, 'Let me tell you, when you find a man who truly loves you, he will accept you for everything that you are.'

How very true.

Men are such idiots. Utter idiots. That's such a sweeping statement but bear with me, as usual.

I've got a nagging problem with men. Not Eric, though he sometimes, once in a blue moon, falls into the general category, but yeah, men in general. They're, mostly, all Mr Fix-Its and they have this stupid, stupid, stupid tendency to whine. At this point in time I seriously doubt that men are able to do anything proper at that, they're so preoccupied with what they are damn good in and boasting about their cleverness, they just refuse to see the bigger picture and the other routes to maneuvre around themselves to bring out bigger successes.

Example in point. Men walk around with engorged heads. OK, OK, maybe most of the men I know walk around with balloons of air on their shoulders. They like to boast. Blardy hell, they so damn like to boast. And to girls like me, almost 25, my friends who are of my age aren't typically successful yet. What the fuck is there for them to boast?

You got that, their so called degree-d achievements.

IDIOTS.

And then, with that stupid engorged head full of air, they will use their stupid recorded GPAs to boost their delusioned egos and go on to test your brains. And in the process try make you look like a complete idiot. This is a plan which inevitably backfires, because, instead of making you look like an idiot, the stupid MAN will look so stupid, he will just go down into that mental blackbook of 'blundering stupidos'.

Now, I'm giving out lessons to guys who want to date smart girls like me a huge tip. Don't boast. And don't do stupid things like this.

Example 1
Me: So what do you want to do actually?
Him1: You won't know. Don't ask.
Me: Try me.
Him1: You won't get it one. You don't understand engineering. My mum, my sister also like that.
Me: You want to do consultancy?
Him1: Maybe.
Me: Hmmm…
Him1: You know what is consultancy or not?

Example 2
Him2: I heard you're writing freelance.
Me: Sometimes.
Him2: You know how much to charge or not?
Me: Charge for what?
Him2: Let's say I want you to do a copywriting work.
Me: Oh. OK. For what company?
Him2: You know what is copywriting or not?

Example 3
Me: So how are you today?
Him3: I hate my job. I'm an engineer but I'm not doing anything right.
Me: Huh? I thought you're a sales engineer. Means that you do use your skills right?
Him3: No. I do sales.
Me: I think everybody does sales in his lifetime. We're constantly selling ourselves.
Him3: You know what is sales or not?

Example 4
Him4: What a fucked up day.
Me: What happened?
Him4: Stupid presentation backfired lah.
Me: I see. How come?
Him4: Just did. The people just didn't seem to understand me, I have to talk about the things so many times.
Me: Ha ha. The handouts didn't work?
Him4: You know what is presentation or not?

Notice the similarities which I have highlighted in bold. Now idiots, if you didn't know already, any girl will tell you that admitting helplessness and innocence is in a girl's basic guidebook. We have NO PROBLEMS in asking for help at all. We are trained and brought up to be 'helpless damstrels in distress' when the time calls for, and in that process, you will be made to feel like a hero. Every other day in my life, I either am genuinely stupid enough to not know that I'm supposed to check my tyre pressure often, or clever enough to feign helplessness by saying, 'Oh dear, I don't know how to do this, can you help me?'

There and then you will be given your chance to look heroic and impress the lady. She will give you your chance. Otherwise, don't try to be a smartass and imagine that by asking a question like, 'You know what is XXX or not?' will make you look clever and heroic. It won't. Either that, or stop looking for smart girls with attitudes and brains like mine. Because you don't deserve us. Go find a girl who is genuinely stupid or fine with feigning stupidity and you can have all your chances in the world to look like Einstein.

Final example.
Him5: Hey. What are you doing over there?
Me: I'm writing a story.
Him5: Wah what story?
Me: Something for work. It's coming out okay I think.
Him5: I see. What do you actually do ah?
Me: Er. I'm a writer and an editor lah. I thought I told you already.
Him5: Oh. I forgot mah. So what do you do as a writer? Write stories?
Me: You know what is stupid or not?

Mother said I was born a ravishing beauty. And I had the longest hair in the whole wide world. It was gold, and if I went out into the sun, it would shine like a very huge sheet of gold leaf. It was THAT fantastic.

It wasn't easy taking care of my hair, though. Every week (I don't wash it every day) I would use up almost half a bottle of shampoo, and over one bottle of hair mask just to keep it soft and comb-able. Even applying the serum (try Liss Extreme, I swear by it) took Mother and me over an hour, and all the hair care products cost Mother a bomb. Mother kept asking me to cut it off, but all the stares from the Ah Bengs around town gave me orgasmic pleasure, so yeah, I didn't listen to her.

It was just a short punishment! I wasn't actually locked up in the tower for months, it was only for about two weeks because I had tried to shoplift some haircare products from the saloon and Mother promised the hairdresser that I would be severely punished. So yes, I was grounded, and it was hell of hassle to live in that damned thing.

First of all, no ASTRO. Not even TV. No DVD players either. No telephones. No radio. And the worst of all, NO INTERNET. Gosh it was fucking boring ok, stuck up in that tower which was quite luxurious with a huge bathroom complete with a bathtub big enough to fit three (otherwise there wouldn't be a place for me to soak all my hair in I guess) and a huge bed with cushions filled with down. See I'm a princess, even when I'm grounded I get to sleep in velvet covered luxury.

But it was royally boring to live in there as well, plus, I had ONLY ONE tiny weeny window to look out at, and the tower was as high as a coconut tree. Wait. It was taller than a coconut tree.

At first Mother wanted to install a ladder to climb the thing. Then she realized, I would have been able to climb down it, and it just wouldn't do for grounded princesses to run away from punishment. Now what happened after that was an utter horror for my beautiful hair. That BITCH, I shouldn't call her that but hell, if you met someone who used your hair as a climbing rope you would be mighty pissed too eh? But what to do, Mother says something and you've got to listen, so she would come every day to the bottom of the tower and intercom me, 'Rapunzel, rapunzel, let down your long hair.'

And she would fucking climb up the tower via my braids. She was thin, so my hair could at least take her weight, but I think she snapped many strands in the process, that fucking bitch. But at least Mother was company, without TV, Radio and Internet, life can be a horrible bore, and she took to making her daily visits a time for mother and daughter to bond.

Except, I thought the punishment period was far too long. So. Well. There's that. Tell you more tomorrow. Got to go see my new wedding dress.

Previously on Rapunzel Speaks:
RS 1: My name and how I came to be