Regarding love
If you missed me, I'm back.
'What have you learnt about life and love? You can never find the perfect person. It is all about learning how to live with differences.'
'Differences? Where do they appear?'
'Beliefs. Lifestyles. Habits. Ideals. The life-long lesson is learning how to co-habit and be happy even amidst all the differences.'
'Be simpler?'
'I don't know. It may be money, it may be family, it may be religion. But where do you find it?'
'I want to fall in love unconditionally, but unconditional doesn't mean giving up my beliefs. I want someone who can accept me for my beliefs, and not coerce me into a lifestyle which I will find hard to accept.'
'Then don't accept.'
'But what if you love? Like how I love.'
'Which do you love more? Yourself? Or the relationship? Or him?'
'I want to love unconditionally.'
'What does loving unconditionally mean?'
'Exactly. What will you advise me to believe?'
'I don't know. What do you believe?'
'That just because I believe in something different doesn't mean that I practise an agama sesat. That the very fact that I have been believing in this for such a long time and have been blessed so far and so long as I have been, deserves respect. That that's all I am asking for, the freedom to be loved for everything I am, including my beliefs.'
'Why now? Why suddenly now?'
'Because, it is only recently that I have begun to feel chided and disrespected. Only recently have I been finding myself sacrificing too much of my very self in order to make another happy and comfortable. Sad. But true.'
'Before?'
'Before, it seemed as if after so long, I have finally found someone who was really going to accept me as I am.'
'And?'
'And maybe, before, I was wrong because I wasn't honest enough. It was wrong of me, sinful of me to betray my own beliefs in order to prove my love. I don't feel like making the mistake anymore.'
'What are you going to do?'
'Continue. Observe. Think. Meditate for clarity. Pray more.'
'Do you love? Would you continue to love? '
'Of course. I would, in my own definition of unconditional. That's why I can accept him for what he is, and that is why I'm not about to change anything about him. I am even willing to follow him, and in the event that I marry him, and have his babies, I am willing to learn his ways and tutor my children to believe in his beliefs. But in performing my traditional duties as a subordinate, I also want to be treated as an equal, i.e. be allowed the freedom to carry on with my beliefs, because that is what I am brought up to be, and what I choose to believe.'
A wise man once told me, 'You should never have to compromise your beliefs in order to earn love from someone whom you think you love.'
A wise woman once told me, 'Let me tell you, when you find a man who truly loves you, he will accept you for everything that you are.'
How very true.
May 6th, 2005 at 3:36 pm
Agreed. If a person truly loves you, he/she would accept everything that you are and will not try to change anything of you.
But oh well, it’s not a perfect world
May 6th, 2005 at 9:59 pm
Reminds of a soap opera type of scenaria.
May 6th, 2005 at 10:08 pm
There are human beings on the face of this earth who do not know what love means, or companionship, who do not have parents, who do not have sisters or brothers, who understand an isolation that is bleak and cold, even if it is of their own making.
Each of you who have the opportunity to share with another then know that is grace, and be thankful for that which you experience, and do not underestimate what you have.
Accept those relationships that you now have, and realize their potential and do not close yourselves off through stupid pride and through barriers (beliefs) of your own making.
Examine your invincible and core beliefs – strong ideas about your existence; the way you build your life. Once understood to be false, the other subsidiary and offshoots will fall away. Distinguish between the facts of life and the beliefs of life - a daunting task for many.
A couple in relationships can constantly reinforce its joy, gaiety and spontaneity by concentrating on ideas of vitality, strength and creativity or let half of its energy slip away by reinforcing resentments, angers and thoughts of doubt and failure. You get what you concentrate upon and there is NO other rule.
You can know each other in each life a brief time. What joy and comfort you can give, then give. What support you can render, render. Do you realize that by doing this you become more than you think you are?
There is No merit in self-sacrifice. For one thing it is impossible. The self grow and develops and cannot be annihilated. You must not expect to be “perfect” – a state of fulfillment beyond which there is no further growth, and no such state exists.
Self-sacrifice usually means throwing the “burden” of yourself upon someone else and making it their responsibility.
A mother telling her child, “I gave up my life for you” is speaking nonsense. In basic terms such a mother believes, no matter what she says, that she did not have much to give up and the “giving up” gave her a life that she wanted.
A child who says, “I gave up my life for my parents and devoted my life to their care” means “I was afraid to live my own life, and afraid to let them live theirs. And is so ‘giving up’ my life I gain the life I wanted.”
Love does not demand sacrifice. You do not help your children by keeping them chain to you, but you do not help your parents either by encouraging their sense of helplessness.
The natural force of love is everywhere within you, and the normal methods of communication are always meant to bring you in contact with fellow creatures.
You must love yourself before you love another. When you love others, you grant them the innate freedom and do not cravenly insist they attend you. There is no basic difference between the love of a child for a parent or vice versa, a wife for a husband, a brother for a sister. There are only various expressions and characteristics of love, and all love affirms. There are many errors frequently committed in the name of love.
Love is of course always changing. There is no one (permanent} state of deep mutual attraction in which two people is forever involved.
As an emotion, love is mobile and can change quite easily to anger or hatred, and back again.
You are hardly at the mercy of a reality, therefore, that exits apart from yourself, or is thrust upon you.
“A flood of unconditional love is flowing to you constantly from your reality, and is there for you - if you are willing to receive it.” – Tora Shanwn
May 9th, 2005 at 10:01 am
June 23rd, 2005 at 11:25 pm
If both party is happy together, nothing else matters….
I used to have lots of idealistic views about love and how it should be, not any more.