just minishorts.

Perhaps I've just embarked on my very own personal journey. While previously sensitivities such as the issue of religion, and how I dislike the efforts of evangelists trying to force their doctrine of love upon me has frustrated me to the point of 'pulling hairs' (THINK: minishorts grabbing a palm load of hair and pulling outwards), this journey has led me to a marathon-like reading of related articles, websites, blogs.

Didn't I reiterate already that I was am not the first to be offended by your efforts that do nothing, of course, but mean good. Like many others, I'm merely being ungrateful, and in the process of trying to justify my sinful rejection of God, I'm always delighted to find others who think alike.

My father's Protestant, my mother's a Taoist, as for me, I'm an agnostic believer who slants more to the Taoist sect, but have been going to church since a kid. For the past five years, I've rejected the Word in favour of offering unclean incense before the table of 'false idols', and yet recently, I've grown up and decided that God is manifest in every living thing (read this as the very basis of Taoism) and have been divinely told (I meditate, go figure) that God understands and God loves me for me regardless, and that being the reason why I've started attending Sunday service again.

So Caleb, Catholic by birth and more insightful and prolific than me, has posted about the fight club he chooses to root for. Which led on to that significant post by Tym, which again led me to Scalzi's My Jesus forgives Your Jesus carsticker site, which led on to a fantastically new term (coined in 2004, though) for those which we all know as evangelists, who tell people that they're spreading the Word as God's servants.

Leviticans.

Excerpts from this post:

What makes a Levitican, in my book at least, is the willingness to transmute one's beliefs into hate and intolerance, to deprive others of rights they ought to enjoy. Leviticans have ever been with us. They quoted the Bible to justify slavery. They quoted the Bible to try to keep women in the home. They quoted the Bible to keep the races pure. They quote the Bible to try to keep gays and lesbians from the benefits of marriage. And each time, after they've quoted the Bible to their satisfaction, they go out and use that justification for their hate to do terrible things.

The next time you, whether you're Catholic, Buddhist, Taoist, Christian-who-is-not-Christian enough, gets approached by a Levitican, ask him if he eats pork, or if he's already circumsized.

I will adore God in my very own ways, thank you very much, and you know, you can't really teach someone what is the right way to love another.

…this intense wish to be right, all the time. Usually its easy to delude myself into my own universes, especially if you're the only kid at home, and when you're brought up to believe in yourself.

When I was young, my teachers used to write in my report card, under conduct:

B+, good student, but sometimes, overconfident.

This is a trait that shines still, though it is not always a bad thing.

But throughout the years, experience has taught me that perseverence does not always equal success, and plans do not always get carried out. Whatever makes the cut though, is always a silver lining in the gloomy born cloud, and well… it takes a while to realise this anyway.

How I wish at times like this my gut feelings are not real, are not right. But experience too, has taught me, I'm usually quite right.

I've wanted to believe in this line: I shape the realities around me. But right now, I don't want to believe it because, what I am shaping right now, isn't exactly in my control, isn't exactly what I want or will to be.

If you have read me for a very long time, you would know what's going on.