just minishorts.

This is a superbly old meme. Am reproducing it because it's fun.

I _____ Minishorts.
Minishorts is _____.
If I were alone in a room with Minishorts _____.
I think Minishorts should _____.
Minishorts needs _____.
I want to _____ Minishorts.
Someday Minishorts will _____.
Minishorts reminds me of _____.
Without Minishorts _____.
Memories of Minishorts are _____.
Minishorts can be _____.
_____ is how I describe meeting Minishorts.
Worst thing about Minishorts is _____.
Best thing about Minishorts is _____.
I am ______ with Minishorts.

COPY, PASTE AND FILL IN THE BLANKS PLEASE.

minishorts would rate this story as HIGHLY unsuitable for under-aged readers because of extremely explicit descriptives.

I was on holiday because I had to go and get married. Yes, we do get married in Fairytale-land, and when we get married, we do get a marriage certificate. All the trouble, just so that we can have sex legally on the pretence of making babies.

The whole load of hookah they tell kids just to avoid the 'make love' part. But then again, I wouldn't want MY children to start experimenting with little dicks and little pussies, right? That's why you've got to hear it in First Person Point of View, from me, Rapunzel, myself. The things the Fairy Tale Collections for Young Children won't tell you.

I got married so that I could have sex LEGALLY.

But now I'm back and let's see… where was I?

Yes. I was revisiting the very first time.

What I recall, now, was lying on the bed, naked accept for a flimsy piece of lace that covered the part where my legs began. And Mark going all animalistic over my breasts, like he had never seen those things in his life ever.

He was very good at this thing called love-making though. I still like how he would use his hands to mold my breasts and send me into exquisite cries of raptured wonder, or how he would breathe from below my nipples, while staring into my eyes. Sometimes, he would try to make both my nipples touch each other, and everything, I would, well…

…moan and moan and moan.

*Giggles*

I think I should have held back, the first time. But, a girl, too can have her urges, and when a guy keeps on playing with just her breasts, it can get very very tiring. So I decided to take charge.

Tip #5: If you prefer the lady to take charge without asking her to do it, tempt her into doing it. Refrain from stripping her to stark nakedness. Usually, it is very, very likely for the lady to, well, take the reins and submit you into her temple of worship. Otherwise, you can skip this tip and go straight to the stark nakedness at first charge. But of course, foreplay wouldn't be so exciting thereafter.

You won't believe how adept I am at unfastening a man's buttons. With my teeth, tongue and lips. Stripping Mark off was quite an easy task, the difficult this is doing it without my hands. But I can assure you, he enjoyed the entire experience. So did I. Tremendously.

Even though I had seen him naked before, it didn't stop me from trembling when I finally took every piece of cloth off him.

'Wow.' He was huge.

He smiled. 'Good that you're not giggling today.'

I smiled, 'I'm getting used to you.'

'Would you get used to me, really?'
'I think so.'
'You think so?'
'Yes, so.'
'Why so?'
'I'm scared so.'

He smile again, and this time, he pulled away the final piece of garment, with his teeth (I think he was mimicking my actions), and every time his lips brushed with my skin, I, err…

…moaned and moaned and moaned.

'I've never done this before,' I blurted out, when he rejoined me on the bed. He had, by now, lifted my right leg over his left shoulder, and was proceeding to do the same with his right.

'Mmmm,' he mumbled, and rubbed against me a bit. I closed my eyes in terror. 'Relax.'

'I'm scared.'
'You're dry.'
'I don't know how to do this.'
'I can make you wet.'

Tip #6: That's what YOU SHOULD DO FIRST. Woi. Don't lah just ram into the girl when she's not ready. Some guys, I heard, never learn. They just want to get it in ASAP. They don't even care if a girl, you know, gets wet first. I think Mark was thisclose to commiting this mistake. Fortunately he pulled back.

He took my legs off his shoulders and went down. What followed was the best thing to ever happen to me since I was proclaimed the prettiest babe in this side of town. Will tell you about it tomorrow.

Previously on Rapunzel Speaks:
RS 1 RS 2 RS 3 RS 4 RS 5 RS 6 RS 7 RS 8

Rapunzel shares her lovemaking tips:
RS 9: How to do it right #1
RS 10: How to do it right #2

In this occasion, I'll demonstrate the times when I be the idiot.

Concerned says: hey, ur current bf is a total snob
Concerned says: y in the world r u with him??
minishorts says: because he's a total snob
minishorts says: why
Concerned says: hahahahahahaha
Concerned says: so u like him because he is a total snob??
minishorts says: no no why do you say he's a total snob
Concerned says: nah, just how he acts
Concerned says: together with his possy
minishorts says: nicholas and keong ah
minishorts says: i've know nick since i was in form 1 lah he's ok
minishorts says: i think they're just older than the rest of you.
Concerned says: really, too me he is a fucking snob
Concerned says: older also………….damn man
minishorts says: i think you're fucking rude too
minishorts says: if i told you your gf is a total bitch
minishorts says: i guess you'd react the same way to me
Concerned says: hmmm………… then I will ask u why, and if the reasons are good then I will listen
Concerned says: it is just the way he acted during the wedding, he and his group
Concerned says: not sporting lar
Concerned says: sorry lar if hurt your feelings
minishorts says: i know why.
Concerned says: just a concerned friend expressing his feelings
minishorts says: i tell you what happened
minishorts says: he doesn't know the bulk of you, and when people don't know everyone , they tend to generalize.
minishorts says: that means he lumps everyone into a big sack and beat beat beat.
Concerned says: what I meant is not the way he treats us
Concerned says: I dun care how he treats us
Concerned says: it was his performance as the best man
Concerned says: not him alone lar
Concerned says: it includes the whole group also
minishorts says: i see
Concerned says: u know me well enough to know that I am impartial
minishorts says: don't mind me log this chat yeah
minishorts says: i'll show eric this. maybe he can change to your liking.
Concerned says: wah liao
Concerned says: dun lar please
Concerned says: I dun wan to cause trouble lar
Concerned says: please dun
minishorts says: don't you think what you're doing now is already … causing trouble?
Concerned says: nope
Concerned says: it is a private conversation btw 2 friends
minishorts says: oh you're being concerned is that it?
minishorts says: i don't think its that private if you suddenly tell me this
Concerned says: so it is up to u to see whether my words are meant thinking over or not
Concerned says: I am not on ur ex bf's side by the way
minishorts says: i don't recall you being nice enough to message me regarding how concerned you are when me and my ex bf were breaking up
minishorts says: or asking me why i don't go to meetings anymore
minishorts says: i'm not saying you're taking my ex bf's side.
Concerned says: when u and ur ex bf were breaking up, I was hearing 2 sides of the story, and from what I heard, I just could judge as it was really very far apart, the stories, so I decided to stand aside
Concerned says: sorry to say this but recently I dun really go to meetings much as well
minishorts says: so now you're… butting in and telling me
Concerned says: too busy lar
minishorts says: i should think over because my bf is a total snob
Concerned says: I didn't ask u too think over, just letting u know how he acted
Concerned says: maybe it may benefit your relationship with him
minishorts says: i think it has benefited my relationship with you too

We come across them every once in a while. Recently I seemed to have come across several.

The one where you broke up with the dude in a heated argument but his father went around telling the rest of the world not to allow the two of you reconcile because, urm, 'This girl is bad for my son?' Mighty. The kid's 23. He's not good for you either, you know?

The one where you went to a dinner, and the resident bitch-in-your-life starts to climb all over her boyfriend over Butter Crabs and Kangkung Belacan. They kiss, they slobber, they feed each other in public. And can't stop rubbing each other. Hello? There's something called a room, and there's something called behaving DECENTLY in public.

The one where you got rid of the idiot for ages and ages and suddenly out of the blue a sudden parcel arrives at your doorstep, sans a sorry note. In it is wrapped an almost disintegrating Physics textbook which you have completely no use for, for the simple fact that you deal with, Language, not Physics. Idiot.

The one where you weren't invited to a wedding simply for the reason of, urm, not knowing neither the bride nor the groom. So your boyfriend's a best man at the wedding. This is quite hilarious because on the night of the wedding a tonne of idiots call you or sms you, including a delusioned ex boyfriend, asking you, 'Hey did you know your bf's the best man for this wedding I'm attending?… Why didn't you go?' Urm. Because I don't know the bride nor the groom? This is where the delusioned idiot continues being delusioned.

The one where a respectable, Grandmother of four, who lives halfway around the globe, tells you that, The best person in the world will go to hell if he has not accepted in his heart and soul Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior.' and later plods into your site and tells you that you lack integrity in several exclamatives. Well how is this for integrity? Fuck you and go to … heaven. Seeing the, almost devoted nature of this person who keeps revisiting me in her attempts to 'right things' in this post of mine (very insignificant, to me, but it seems to have touched many atheists, agnostics and Christians alike) right now I actually find it quite appalling to have such a devout visitor like Jeanette who keeps on coming to that post of mine. Anyway, the dear old lady has proclaimed that she will leave my site for good, so peace be with her. You know, at the end of all this, I think I can recognize with Jesus in a way. He's a great man, and naturally great people like Him have many followers. Unfortunately He can't choose his fans.

How do you handle freaky people like this?

Well, I for one, can't do much, except blog about them, and sometimes, try my best to keep things as cryptic as possible. But I have my patience limits, and I'm no saint. My katharsis lies in the word 'Fuck'. I'm old enough to use it, and I trust that reader who come here are old enough and smart enough to use it, sparingly. Obviously your average devout True Christian, who swears by the Good Book that homosexuality, euthanasia, premarital sex and what not are unforgivable sins, will not be reading this, so… fuck them away. Obviously also, your average 10 year old kid, 12 year old kid, 15 year old kid, who doesn't like reading whatsoever wouldn't be in the least-est attracted to a, superbly long-winded blogger crapper like yours truly. So give naught a fuck about these.

What say you to these people? Repeat after me:

GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. I DON'T NEED YOUR LIP SERVICE, AND I CERTAINLY DO NOT NEED YOU TO 'CARE' FOR ME.

Now tell me about the idiots in your life. Should be fun to bitch about. Liberty fucking rules!

Ooh, an on-topic digression (is there such a thing?) must proceed.

I've got a great passage from Scalzi's site that goes something like this:

I like it when people who have viewpoints that are different than mine come to the site, make their points from an informed position and participate in the give and take that comes out of that with other people in the comment threads. I don’t like it when people with no more knowledge on a subject than any random chicken stroll by, vomit up a gout of nonsense, and try to pass it off as a useful contribution to the discussion. My readership deserves better than to be presented by this kind of crap.

Perhaps the next time you blog and gather a couple of trolls and leeches in the midst of your commenting regulars, you might want to keep in mind that, ignoramuses DO exist, and be thankful that you're not an ignoramus.

A few people have asked me where Rapunzel went. Well, this weekend's a good time to get married. She's too busy to blog for now. But she'll be back after the Wesak holidays. Check Tuesday, kay?

Boy, have I been on a extra-daily basis, these days. While I have left the obscene Bedtime Stories behind for a while, I've been talking about pretty deep stuff, eh? But I digress and we shall talk about writers today, and how you can 'get that chance'.

I must first direct you to Sharon Bakar's site, and her insightful discussions and ideas regarding the writing profession. Bloggers, and readers, who still hold the faith that their work and style are good enough to be noticed, and published one day, should visit Sharon's site on a regular basis. Not many writers are as generous as her, you see.

Not too long ago, Sharon posted a 'kick-up-the-butt' post, 'A Lazy Colony of Silverfish??' calling for aspiring writers to move out of the Short Story shell and proceed to 'bigger' things such as The Novel. I raised my opinions regarding writers who are Raman's 'lazies', and in that comment, I said

Sometimes, all it takes is a small recognition from a significant publishing house to fuel a spirited writer/author.

'Giving Writers a Chance' is Sharon's very long and thought-provoking response to my comment. In this poignant piece, a must-read for aspiring talents, Sharons tells people with dreams, yes, you, you, and you, that

The best way to learn is simply by reading enough quality writing. If you want to learn how to write short fiction, immerse yourself in the best short story writers and learn from the masters.

… and then,

We do need to fuel our new writers, as you say Minishorts, but it does not have to be the responsibility of a publishing house.

And then after a bit, she handed the podium to me.

Personally I feel that many aspiring writers are sadly being pushed down by the bigger 'greats', who hold on to their own thrones like a possessed lord, afraid to share the fruits of their own successes.

In my very, very long response to Sharon, I said, 'Many unplucked talents are still seedlings in a jungle where the huge, taller tropical kings reign supreme while jealously blocking the sunlight from reaching the ground.'

The rest of the comment can be read here, but please do read, first, the entire post by Sharon before jumping to see what I've said there.

I am still young (a line that Eric tells me, is not good enough to justify being 'complacent' in life), and my buckets of thoughts may not hold very heavy waters. But if you are a hopeful talent waiting to be plucked, heed Sharon's call, please. It isn't the responsibility of publishing houses to beg you to write for them, we're not worthy of beggars yet. The duty is a collective one, and sometimes, it takes you to take out your pen before they give you a blank manuscript.

The end product isn't yours alone either. True success begins when you acknowledge that you are were not alone.