just minishorts.

BAHAWASANYA NEGARA KITA MALAYSIA

mendukung cita-cita hendak mencapai perpaduan yang lebih erat di kalangan seluruh masyarakat;
memelihara satu cara hidup demokratik;
mencipta satu masyarakat yang adil di mana kemakmuran negara akan dapat dinikmati bersama secara adil dan saksama.
menjamin satu cara yang liberal terhadap tradisi-tradisi kebudayaan yang akan menggunakan sains dan teknologi moden.
MAKA KAMI,
rakyat Malaysia,
berikrar akan menumpukan seluruh tenaga dan usaha kami untuk mencapai cita-cita tersebut berdasarkan atas prinsip-prinsip yang berikut:

Kepercayaan kepada Tuhan
Kesetiaan kepada Raja Dan Negara
Keluhuran Perlembagaan
Kedaulatan Undang-Undang
Kesopanan Dan Kesusilaan

Some things you didn't know about minishorts.

1) She went to a Chinese Primary school, yup, one of those SRJK (C)s.
2) Chinese was on her list of must-take subjects all the way to form 5.
3) Later she went back to that same old primary school of hers and taught, I kid you not, Chinese to the standard 4, 5 and 6 kids.
4) Then she found herself doing English at a local varsity.
5) A few years later, upon graduation, she became an editor (WOW) editing PMR/SPM books (oh), and then, an English textbook for Form 3 yang diperakui Kementerian Pelajaran Malaysia (uh-oh)
6) Then minishorts became draggy and weird. The one you have now.
7) Then one day she remembered, Ooooh, back when I was 6, I was like this! The Chinese medium type, all the way man (WOW), and now I'm a rotting this.

I have come a super long way man. And you know what? Back when I was 12, because I was the BM teacher's official pet, I was chosen to lead the entire morning session (yuppers, all 800 pupils) in a chanting session of the Rukun Negara.

EVERY FUCKING MONDAY I WOULD GO ON STAGE, TURN ON THE MIKE and go, 'Bahawasanya, Negara kita Malaysia…'

And the ENTIRE nerdy ah-beng-and-ah-lian-to-be clan would blur-ly ikut this anak sesat in the entire bla-bla.

If I chose to say, 'Sebenarnya negara kita Malaysia sangat teruk…', every single kid in the school would follow me like silly parrots, and the teachers couldn't do a thing about this, except scold me for about 10 minutes after that ending with a xia ge li bai bu ke yi je yang le (next week you can't do it this way).

Look where that kid is now, folks. SO BLOODY ACCOMPLISHED, kan?

I also once dated a guy who had to lead the whole bloody fucking school to Negaraku every single week. You see, I went to a sicko school who had the ass. head prefect going up to stage to lead the school in the 'sing the national anthem' weekly campaign. SO DAMN FUN.

I told you I was more Malaysian than you are. You don't believe-niah. Now only you know.

Why come?

Because I promised Sharizal that I'll turn up wearing nothing.

minishorts: if you lemme give out the pressies to the winners, i'll come in nothing.
sharizal: if you're going to be nekkid giving out pressies you might as well give out the pressies at my place.
minishorts: it's always good to share a good thing.
sharizal: and you, in nothing, is a good thing?
minishorts: I'll look better wearing nothing than wearing minishorts, okay?

Now how's that for a promotion.

Well, I'll be bringing along two hot chicks and a national athlete. Right after work that is.

So there. And I'm not eating anything cos I don't want my skin to get splattered in meat sauce. If you'd like to treat me to juice or anything, yeah I don't mind sipping from straws. Lollipops to suck on would be nice to0, I like lollipops, I like sucking on sweet stuff. No coffee-flavoured things cos I can't sleep at night. But something soury sounds nice too. Ice-popsicles would be cool as well, I like lemon flavoured things and yeah, I can lick on it the entire night while you eat your good steak from Charlie's.

Other HOT STUFF:

Kennysia is turning up with his coconut-balls.
Suanie will eat worms if tak-cukup orang pigi.
Peter, all the way from Penang.
Huai Bin, all the way from Sibu/Kuching.
Banyak orang lagi, can see this list here.

And of course, minishorts in nothing.

If cake isn't good enough, all of the above should make you salivate in hunger. And if you're worried you'll feel lost (maybe you don't have a blog or something), aiyoh, start blogging lah now.

OKAY-lah, can sign up already. See you there.