I’ll be honest
Of course I want to be famous one day. I'm a writer goddamn it. Every writer wants to be acclaimed. You know, we don't want to write for free forever you know? Or be at the whim and fancy of editors. Or live a lifetime earning a living as an editor because writing just doesn't provide for the basic luxuries.
Money, money and money. To buy lots and lots of things.
I'd be telling a blatant lie if I said that fame doesn't matter, recognition doesn't matter, appreciation from the crowds doesn't matter. I'd be fibbing if I told you that I don't give a bloody fucking damn about press agents who take my work (for free) and then, conveniently forget that they still owe me money.
And by the way, when I say I'm a writer, I'm an editor, it doesn't mean I'm a magazine or newspaper editor… there are other types of publishing houses here, in Malaysia, what is this with you guys? You don't read enough izzit? You know right? Isn't all about glamour you know? It isn't all about the thrill of seeing your name in print, hearing people nod just when your name is muttered across pretentious cafes strewn with femes artsy-fartsy people.
There are some who are different. Like me, lah, different. And damn it, take me seriously, can? Take people like US seriously. We don't write for newspapers, we don't write for magazines, we don't write for brochures, but we are writers too.
'So what do you do for a living?'
'I'm an editor.'
'Oh, which magazine?'
'Oh it's not a magazine.'
'Oh, newspaper?'
'No. I edit books.'
'Oh, Malaysia can do that meh?'
Please please please God, make someone see me as I am now, and tell me that I don't have to moonlight as a writer and earn a living as an editor. Please make someone, you know, offer me a million-dollar deal to write just ONE of my crappy novels.
Please God, make me famous so that one day people will have to pay lots and lots of money just to read the gems that I will write.
OK. Wait… lemme do another BETTER prayer.
Please, please, please dear God, give me good strength and courage, to overcome my fears and burn down those invisible shackles that keep the recesses of my mind at bay. Please channel a tunnel through this (writer's) block, so that I will be able to produce great works of immense entertainment (or thought-pondering gems), so that I may be able to sell them at a good price and so that I will be able to live in luxurious glamour for the rest of my fantastically amazingly envy-worthy life.
ONE DAY, YOU'LL SEE. I'LL BECOME SO DAMN FEMES AND RICH I WON'T EVEN RECOGNIZE YOU ON THE STREET. KAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA. THEN YOU CAN COME UP AND BEG ME TO FORGIVE YOU FOR YOUR IGNORANCE.
And yeah, being femes as a blog writer just doesn't COUNT!
June 10th, 2005 at 9:21 am
May your prayers be answered soon.
Thank goodness there ARE writers like you in Malaysia. If not, my internet addiction will be one blog less.
June 10th, 2005 at 9:59 am
Please forgive me for my ignorance. I’m just a stupid little bean counter who counts beans and knows nothing about the writing world. *sniff*
June 10th, 2005 at 10:23 am
I think it’ll be fun to read fairytales modified to your version of it =)
June 10th, 2005 at 10:24 am
as in the published version lah =)
June 10th, 2005 at 10:36 am
Out of curiosity, what do you write? Besides naughty fairytales that is.
June 10th, 2005 at 10:58 am
I dunno whether it’s this thing in Malaysia or what, but if you’re not in one of those easily-recognisable occupiations like lawyer-doctor-accountant, it’s as if you don’t have a proper job.
My hubby’s designation is also Editor but his parents back in Batu Pahat seem to have problems understanding what it is, despite various attempts by him to explain. Somehow, that “prestige” factor drops a few notches simply because his profession is not one of the “sanctioned few”.
Your “Malaysia can do that meh” really makes me laugh, because it’s so demonstrative of how small-minded people can be, and it’s not just in Malaysia. Had the response be “Wow I didn’t know that such an occupation existed, tell me more.”, my reaction would have been different.
June 10th, 2005 at 11:18 am
I empathise with you on thison - mrs budak makes a good point about “non-traditional” occupations being “unrecognised”.
I get some of that too, as many people have trouble grasping that a person trained as a chartered accountant is actually capable of doing other, non-accounting, things.
These days, when I get asked what I do, I just say, “I dig holes for a living.”
June 10th, 2005 at 11:28 am
You have my sympathy today.
I was contemplating earlier if I should mention about you calling my second name numerous times in your plead but decided against it since it would be cruel. The cruel joke may not work out well and end up getting your signature pie-in-your-face response.
Anyway, what are you reading currently? Don’t tell me it’s some blog site. There is a good chance you may enjoy “A Dog’s Life” by Peter Mayle. It is safe to assume I don’t protection today, so no anti-icons.
June 10th, 2005 at 1:58 pm
char: weiyoh… make me kembang again, paisay, paisay…
fuckstress: keke… there are times when i hate my job though, especially when the book that i’m working on is not to my liking. hmmm, actually that’s most of my time. GAH.
rosalind: yeah, find me a publisher first can? and then i don’t want someone who will keep censoring my work one.
jme: hello, oh didn’t you read already. i’ve already placed it in the post. what kind of things i write. (sigh)
mrs budak & tiger: it’s like if you’re dating a salesman, it’s just not as glamour as dating a doctor. that kind of thing. so ANNOYING. and so bloody shallow. many, many malaysians forget that a society needs all sorts of people just to make it exist. having just doctors, accountants, engineers and lawyers to form a community just makes things BLOODY FUCKING BORING. yeah. that’s my take. sorry for the profanities.
doctor: hahaha everytime you post a comment i go looking for a pie to throw at you. BLEK.
June 10th, 2005 at 2:49 pm
Profanities I can handle.
Questions like “So how come you don’t do accounting? I thought you are an accountant wan…” will require lots of patience on my part.
I think the main cause is that Malaysian society, generally, still use the formula:
Steady Job = Doctor / Lawyer / Engineer / Accountant
It’s like soooooo 80’s OK
June 10th, 2005 at 4:04 pm
Then I guess local publisher tak boleh pakai adi. Must find publishers abroad
June 10th, 2005 at 7:00 pm
“Malaysia can do that meh”
That cracked me up… LOLz… Yeah, it’s always like that. Sometimes you feel that people are so narrow minded. But then again, what can you say when you’re living in a country where people are sometimes too oblivious about these stuffs.
Hmm.. I just found your blog not too long ago and your entries are interesting. Thank God there are writers like you. A source of good humour, entertainment and literature knowledge. Props to you!!
June 10th, 2005 at 7:14 pm
What do I work as?
To Friend: I am an IT Executive
To Relatives: I am an IT Executive
To a Hot Babe: I am a Consultant specialising in Office Automation and Business Intelligence Engineering.
June 10th, 2005 at 8:43 pm
Write your novel in your spare time and send it off to the right sort of publisher (that’s right, research to make sure the publisher you send it to actually publishes those sorts of novels).
Then, wait a year while it sits in a slush pile, where some junior hack editor decides if it is worthy enough to go to a real editor, who will then read it and secide if it is worth publishing.
Then, if you make it to that stage, get yourself and agent and manager and get them to negotiate what you will get paid, and if you can get an advance on sales and get the advance for THREE novels (so that you can write and get published another two).
It’s the way most writers start out.
Cheers.
(Yes, I am a member of the Australian Writers Guild - they write screenplays, NOT novels … but I have been published as a poet! I am currently writing a number of novels all at the same time.)
June 10th, 2005 at 8:48 pm
Oh, forgot to add. Being FAMOUS sucks!
Yes, I use to be a musician, and while having a bunch of screaming fans chanting the bands name, and thinking you are gods gift to music is really cool, the flip side to that is they also expect you to be their best friend and want to hang out with you 24/7.
Luckily, I never became THAT famous, but I have some old friends who did (I was only mediocre famous. Easier to live with - and still get chanting fans and that!)
My advise, check out a publisher who publish raunchy books and send your fairy tales to them. See if they’ll publish them. You are very creative.
June 10th, 2005 at 8:53 pm
Get your priorities straight. Fame is only good if it gets you laid. Go pray again:
The Bachelor Girl’s Prayer
As I lay me down to sleep
Still wide awake while counting sheep
I pray: Dear God, send me a guy
Who’ll hug and love me till I die
A guy who thinks that I’m the best
And tells his mom and all the rest
A guy whose views are truly kind
Who keeps a gentle, thoughtful mind
I pray he’s not a lazy slob
But one who has a steady job
This guy should own a house and car
And he should treat me like a star
And when he takes me to his bed
He’ll moan “Oh yes!” while getting head
I pray that when I suck him hollow
He doesn’t try to make me swallow
June 10th, 2005 at 9:44 pm
dont worry. im sure u’ll get famour and rich. i hear romance novel sells pretty well:grin:
June 10th, 2005 at 10:15 pm
Aiyo…made me feel so shy. Eh, I passed Comprehension in SPM, alright? Lol. What I meant was, if I were to bump into one of your works in the bookstore, which genre would it be under ( Hot steamy romance, Drow fantasy etc.)?
June 10th, 2005 at 10:38 pm
I totally agree, start a novel or short story type book which is for mature audiences. Compile all your modified fairytales, get a nice cover, get some Malaysian or some writers out in the world to recognize your work and then start selling them online as a side income.
I proposed the idea so I get a share.. LoL!:mrgreen:
June 10th, 2005 at 11:45 pm
you might find this interesting: http://www.theedgedaily.com/cms/content.jsp?id=com.tms.cms.article.Article_3c8c5f9d-cb73c03a-6279d000-4b697de3
June 11th, 2005 at 1:01 am
somebody told me you’re getting **married**
never tell me!!!
gasp!
June 11th, 2005 at 2:11 pm
Hmm. But being femes as a blogger means that you already have an established readership, and some publishing houses do take that into account when looking at your manuscript. Plus, Diablo and DannyFoo’s suggestion of compiling your fairy tales sounds good to me.
I know I had a good time going through them.
June 11th, 2005 at 2:12 pm
Oops. Dabido not Diablo. Paiseh.
June 11th, 2005 at 3:49 pm
You should publish your fairytales. It’ll be a hit with them lil kids.
June 13th, 2005 at 4:42 pm
hee hee No worries Cynical Idealist.
I’ve been called worse (I think!) 
June 13th, 2005 at 4:53 pm
urm. i’m too lazy to reply you guys one by one.
but i read all the comments.