just minishorts.

Before you proceed, I have a confession to make: It was damn damn damn hard trying to get this story to come out. I had a few problems to tackle:

1) I couldn't find a story to retell since I'd used up most of the spoof-able ones earlier;
2) I couldn't find a suitable blogger to use in the story, not that you guys didn't write as well, but when everyone in the Malaysian blogosphere blogs about the same thing over and over again, it becomes pwetty difficult to build your posts into stories, so if I, you know, cook up something completely different, don't mind me please; and finally of course
3) The tell-a-story project ended like, three weeks ago, and the current project that I'm working on is just too serious for fun boo-hoo!!

But anyway, for today I'll go back to Aesop's fables and tell you about how once upon a time, in a far away land, lived a very naughty boy called Ah Boy, whose rich uncle in the kampung owned about fifty cute fat wooly sheep.

Once Ah Boy's uncle went to the city for a shopping holiday. Someone had to jaga his sheep of course, so he paid heaps of petty cash to Ah Boy to take his cute fat wooly sheep out to the hills on the other side where the grass was greener, thus lush-ier and more delicious to eat.

'I'll only be gone for three days, but someone has to take the sheep to the hills for their meals. You'll do the job, won't you?' asked the rich old man first.

'Will can do,' said Ah Boy. 'Jaga sheep only-mah, easy job-lah. Leave it all to me.'

He didn't know, of course, that a shepherd's life is a very boring one indeed. See, you take the sheep out, you sit down and WAIT for the sheep to eat their grass, and all that waiting sometimes stretches out to, say, about four to five hours?

Ah Boy wasn't very smart, and he didn't know how to spend his time, say, reading a book, or playing Bejeweled off his PDA, well, he didn't even know what a PDA was, so on the first day that he brought the sheep out for their daily meal, he just stood under a big big tree, and stared at the sheep slowly munching their food away.

'Sien man,' thought Ah Boy to himself, and this was just after five minutes of staring at the sheep.

He stared, and stared, and stared, and finally, all the jagaing job got the better of him. 'BLOODY BORING JOB MAN!' he cried to himself.

'I feel like playing a prank on the kampung people,' thought Ah Boy. 'The kampung ah pek and ah soh, all also afraid of WOLVES, so I am so going to scare them out of their wobbly knobbly knees.'

He ran across the fields, and stood on top a hill-mould just overlooking the kamping. Cupping both his hands around his mouth, Ah Boy shouted at the top of his voice, 'WOLF! WOLF! WOLF COME TO EAT MY SHEEP! WOLF COME TO EAT MY SHEEP!!'

Dear me, his voice was REALLY loud, the kid, and his panic call was answered immediately. It seemed as if the entire kampung's people had come out of their houses, and every ah pek and ah soh was armed with a parang, broomstick, chopping board, hammer, and whatever thing that you can think of as a weapon.

Well you know-lah what happened. The entire kampung was so worried and anxious to death, they came out rumbling the grounds ready to fight the big bad wolf, but what did they see?

No wolf. Only a silly little Ah Boy who had fallen to the ground, kicking his legs up in the air and laughing his ass off like an obnoxious yelping monkey. AHAHAHAHHA, I cry wolf only you all come out already, HAHAHHA…'

Machaochibai if I meet this kind of people I will also be damn pissed man. The kampung people were fuming with anger. How could a monkey kid like this play such a ridiculous trick on the entire kampung.

'Bo-tua-bo-seh,' screamed an angry Ah Pek, the parang in his hand shaking to the beat of his angry trembles. 'Kurang ajar kid. Don't expect that we'll come back to help you after this!'

They went back to their homes cursing their stupidness for listening to the empty cries of help.

Now Ah Boy is a very thick-skinned person, and all the curses in the world didn't deter him from re-playing the trick again. This happened on Day Two, and again, naughty Ah Boy screamed at the top of his lungs, 'WOLF! WOLF! GOT WOLF COME TO EAT MY SHEEP!'

The villagers came running with their parangs and axes again, and when they saw Ah Boy ROTFLHAO, they felt damn so hai and went back cursing themselves for their stupidness.

Well, Ah Boy laughed and laughed and laughed, but he couldn't afford laughing for long. Just ten minutes after the villagers disappeared into their homes, a REAL LIVE, living, breathing, snarling BIG BAD WOLF came prowling through the fields. And the sheep went bonkers and started running for their lives everywhere.

Poor Ah Boy was so terrified, he scrambled up a tree, and screamed at the top of his tired lungs, 'WOLF! WOLF! BIG BAD WOLF COME! BIG BAD WOLF COME! WOLF WOLF WOLF!'

Nobody, I repeat, NOBODY came to the poor boy's tired shouts for help. They all thought he was playing the fool again, and their doors stayed tightly shut. So Ah Boy helplessly hid himself in the tree, and watched as the wolf slaughtered his sheep. Those that were spared disappeared into the woods, never to come back again.

Only when the wolf had had its belly filled and walked away from the fields, did Ah Boy climb down the tree. Tears were flowing down his fat puffy cheeks, and staring at the carcasses of dead sheep, he cried for his losses, and wondered how he was to explain the loss of his uncle's sheep.

'Wolf, wolf,' he muttered over and over again, and sat under the big big tree. Burying his face in his palms, he cried, and cried, and over and over again, he kept muttering, 'Wolf, wolf, wolf wolf.'

'Woof.'

Ah Boy looked up. Standing right before him was a dusty-looking mongrel. 'Woof woof,' it barked.

He stared at the dog, and then, he buried his head into his palms again, now saying, 'Wolf wolf wolf.'

The doggy went, 'Woof woof woof.'

Ah Boy ignored the dog went on 'wolf'-ing to himself. I mean, I wouldn't blame him. If you'd lost fifty sheep to a wolf, your vocabulary automatically shrinks to a single-syllabled wolf word.

Little ignored doggy tried to nuzzle the distraught Ah Boy. He walked up to the poor sniffling kid, and pawed him a little, but Ah Boy just went on crying and crying. That is, he went on crying and crying until he realized that there was another person standing beside him now. He looked up, to see a kind face, and an outstretched hand.

'You okay, kid?' asked the stranger.
'…'
'You've lost your sheep?'
'…'
'My dog here, tells me you've been crying wolf.'
'…'
'What have you to say to that?'
'Wolf.'
'Crying wolf, eh?'
'Wolf.'

'Woof woof,' the dog barked now. Lo and behold, the stranger replied to his dog too! 'Woof woof woof woof.'

It looked a bit absurd for a while, and Ah Boy stared with wide-opened eyes.

Doggy: Woof woof!
Stranger: Woof woof woof woof!
Doggy: Woof woof!
Stranger: Woof woof woof woof!
Doggy: Woof woof!
Stranger: Woof woof woof woof!
Doggy: Woof woof!
Stranger: Woof woof woof woof woof woof!

With that, the dog sauntered back to the village obediently.

Now that the 'conversation' was over, the stranger turned back to Ah Boy again. 'Stop crying,' he said abruptly.

'Wolf, wolf!'

'And stop crying wolf! You're not a dog so I can't understand you that way!'
'…'
'My dog tells me you cried wolf so much that a wolf came and ate up your sheep.'

Ah Boy nodded quickly and said, finally, 'I cried wolf too much and a real wolf came. And nobody came to help.'

The stranger shook his head and pulled the boy. 'Too late already. What to do. Now you've to stop crying and think of ways to get your sheep back or something.'

'Can't. My uncle's going to kill me.'
'Then think how to say sorry, and think of ways to mend your wrongs. This is a huge mistake, but you've learnt something, I think.'
'Not to cry wolf anymore?
'Well, that, and?'
'I don't know what else. I know if I cry wolf, nobody will come to help me. That means I must always speak the truth.'
'Well you cannot keep on speaking the truth, boy, you must speak only the truth that people want to hear. That way, people will like you more.'

The kid didn't get this wise theory, so he went, 'Huh?'

'Meaning, if you really had no choice, you should lie, because people like to listen to lies. But most of the time you've to speak the truth.'
'…'
'What's your name, kid?'
'I'm Ah Boy.'
'Ah. I'm viewtru, I can talk to dogs, because of that, I can see right through you.'
'Why like that?'
'Because of the force.'

Viewtru offered the kid his hand again, and this time, Ah Boy took it willingly. He stood up, and they both began the long walk back to the village, both shrouded in a quiet sombreness because they both knew Ah Boy was to face the music of crying wolf. It was a hard lesson to learn, but he learnt it well, and this was one mistake that he was to remember for a long, long time to come.

Now this is where we'll end this not-so-funny story, but the moral of the tale of course, is still the age old one. Never cry wolf and if you must blog shout for attention, tell all the truth (that people like to hear), but once in a while, you should, you know, step aside for reality.

Just once in a while. Life isn't just about blogs and blogging, you know?

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