Archive for July 6th, 2005

How big is Kenny’s bird?

Jul 06, 2005 in Web-logger

When two gila bloggers get together online… we talk (about) cocks. Kenny's cock. Specifically.

minishorts: you ni teruk
minishorts: reply religiously
Kenny: I layan everyone too much
minishorts: koyak lah
minishorts: i go by the mantra: i don't give a fucking damn.
Kenny: i don't give a damn but I can give a fucking.
minishorts: i'm sure
minishorts: how long are you
Kenny: private question!
minishorts: i want to know
Kenny: siao ah
minishorts: 3 inches limp! yes
minishorts: silence is consent
minishorts: eh no lah i think
Kenny: that's like asking for ur cup size.
minishorts: 2.5 inches limp
Kenny: u dun tell ppl one u know.
minishorts: limp
minishorts: i'm a (censored)
Kenny: !
Kenny: i didn't ask.
Kenny: u dun crazy.
Kenny: anyway
minishorts: i'm trying to tell you its the same thing
minishorts: so…
minishorts: 2.5 inches limp
Kenny: it doesn't matter that size it is limp
Kenny: 'cos limp is useless anyway.
minishorts: maximum 5.5 inches hard
Kenny: hey i never measured.
minishorts: i'm going to blog this
minishorts: MUAHHAHA
minishorts: anyway
minishorts: i think its…
Kenny: but even if i had, i'm not gonna tell.
minishorts: from thumb end
Kenny: !
minishorts: to little finger end
minishorts: outstretched
minishorts: that's the length
minishorts: right or not
Kenny: hey i'm in the office right now
Kenny: not gonna unzip my pants and confirm your statements!
minishorts: chewah words only mah
minishorts: go and wank yourself and see
Kenny: cannot
Kenny: must have images.
minishorts: then come back tell me how big is the big bird
Kenny: waliew
Kenny: wendy asked me the same thing
Kenny: and i didn't wanna answer her
minishorts: hehehe
Kenny: she said "if you're long, you'd answer. if you don't answer, that means you're short."
Kenny: !!
minishorts: i can estimate a guy's length by his face
Kenny: die die both ways.
minishorts: top of forehead
minishorts: to bottom of chin
minishorts: that's the length…when hardened..
Kenny: no wonder girls like horse face
minishorts: usually correct one
Kenny: crazy ah
minishorts: you don't believe go check and see
Kenny: eunuches don't have flat face
Kenny: squashed face i mean
minishorts: next time you go wanking… you agak the length of your face
Kenny: DAMN YOU
minishorts: use your hands to help lah… then you will be shocked by the accuracy of my prophecy
Kenny: now everytime i look a man's face i think of the length of his penis
Kenny: ALL YOUR FAULT
Kenny: shit
Kenny: now i gotta photoshop my face to make it look longer.
minishorts: eh what's the length lah
minishorts: takkan got yellow feathers all around your dick right
Kenny: c'mon. why did u wanna know! not like i'm gonna sleep with you.
minishorts: cheh
Kenny: or anyone else
minishorts: you keep on saying you got big bird
Kenny: anytime soon.
minishorts: OF COURSE WE WANT TO KNOW
Kenny: siao ah
minishorts: you sendiri buat punya -sal
Kenny: of course its all in jest
Kenny: hohoho
Kenny: good what
Kenny: keep the suspense there.
minishorts: no oh.
minishorts: not fun
minishorts: wait lemme see..
Kenny: remain an unsolved mystery.
minishorts: yeah lah kautim should be 5.5 inches when hard and solid
Kenny: my face length is longer than 5.5 inch ok
minishorts: yeah meh
minishorts: you take ruler and measure your face length adi?
Kenny: 18cm
minishorts: fucker
minishorts: ok i change the metthod
minishorts: FACE width
minishorts: from right cheek end to left cheek end
Kenny: ear to ear or what
Kenny: 19 cm
minishorts: cheek end to cheek end
Kenny: depends on where u position it
minishorts: mid-cheek to mid-cheek
Kenny: fuck lah
Kenny: next thing u know u'll say left nostril to right nostril
minishorts: that one is your flacid length
Kenny: not that short pun
Kenny: c'mon lah
minishorts: you got big nose hole mah
Kenny: how would u like it if ppl say they can measure ur cheebye length by the width of your lips.
Kenny: gross rite
minishorts: got such thing meh
minishorts: where got gross
Kenny: everytime ppl look at u, u'd feel violated.
minishorts: YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF YOUR DICK
minishorts: we girls are proud of our vaginas.
Kenny: mann
Kenny: we shouldn't compare.
minishorts: i'm not comparing
Kenny: everyone is good in their own right
Kenny: heh heh heh
minishorts: i'm just saying it's like a lock-and-key situation.
minishorts: when you find a man, it's like you're looking for the key to your lock.
minishorts: KALAU the key fits… sex will be superbo.
Kenny: hey, what does it have got anything to do with me.
minishorts: length doesn't necessarily matter.
Kenny: even if i say 30 cm u're not gonna leave eric for me.
minishorts: of course not.
minishorts: he is infinite.
Kenny: besides
Kenny: i can just say any number
Kenny: u'll never know.
Kenny: shit.
minishorts: 30 cm you will look like a hantu lah
minishorts: i'm trying to say… length doesn't matter… what matters is that the key will fit the lock.
Kenny: …
minishorts: but that doesn't stop us from wanting to know 'just how big is kenny's big bird'.
Kenny: a dick is not a key. a cheebye is not a lock.
Kenny: u dun insert the key into the lock and turn clockwise.
Kenny: u insert the key, remove the key, insert the key, remove. …
minishorts: hahahaha
Kenny: ya
Kenny: 9 months later it'll produce a baby lock
minishorts: wah you damn experienced hoh
Kenny: and a baby key
minishorts: WTF YOU TALKING ABOUT
minishorts: i'm asking you about your length
minishorts:you tell me about insert key remove insert key remove
Kenny: well
Kenny: that's for the ladies to find out.
minishorts: ok change method
minishorts: i think your key…. i mean dick
minishorts: is the length of the word 'dick'
Kenny: u better dun ask one of ur undercover kakitangan to seduce me.
Kenny: next time i see elaine acting strangely towards me i'll know one.
minishorts: when typed out in times new roman font size 72.
minishorts: betul
Kenny: well
Kenny: dick is a short-form
Kenny: the actual word is dickonorsaurus.
minishorts: that one
minishorts: if it is dickonorsaurus.
minishorts: then is is the length of that word typed out in times new roman font size … 24
Kenny: scientific name. dickonosaurus cerebus palpatineus von obiwan kenobicus
Kenny: so there.
minishorts: talk kok king at his best.
minishorts: that one should be times new roman font size 10
Kenny: brb i wanna go to the toilet
Kenny: NOT to measure ok
minishorts: go measure go measure

PODCAST: How do you get kids to leave you alone?

Jul 06, 2005 in Diary-writer

You know the problem with Eric's little niece is…

OK Eric might just read this… but anyway.

URGH ERIC! THE PROBLEM WITH HAVING YOUR SIX-YEAR-OLD NIECE AROUND EVERYTIME I GO THERE FOR A VISIT IS SHE NEVER WANTS TO LEAVE YOU AND ME ALONE!

The little rascal always wants to hang out with us me!!

OK lah, I am really very flattered that she seems to like me a lot, and I really love the kid a lot too… but how come she always wants to sit with me…

Apa jadi… Eric and I don't get our together-time. Want to make out also cannot. Wanna kiss also difficult… wanna hold hand also difficult. How? How?

Come lemme prove this.

The other night I had a talk with the cutie-pie… was showing her the iRiver and all and had her listen a recorded conversation between her kaufu and me… then she asked me to tape up the conversation with my new toy…

Wah.. I thought this was a fantastic method to ask her little girl to get out of the room. You know… quickly chase the kid away so that Eric and I can kiss kiss and do other things that adults do.

Kanasai… it was impossible to get the girl to leave me alone.

I even tried to make her bored by teaching her the weeks of the month.. err… weeks …weeks…. days of the week…

Evidence 1: 'Want time do you want to go to bed?' (3.5 MB)

I mean… after a bit… I dragged her nearer to the door and tried again my 'don't talk so much go and sleep lah' strategy.

Evidence 2: 'Why do you like to listen to yourself talk?' (2.2 MB)

Still kenot. Still kenot. I'm so not-good at asking kids to go to bed… especially the super duper cute ones like this one.

Other methods, anyone? Especially if it's already 10 pm and she refuses to go to bed… how do I cordially invite her out of the room?

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