just minishorts.

Here goes the true story of that famous no-bigger-than-a-thumb Thumbelina, as fair as snow was her skin, as light as a fiddle was her skip and as sweet as a lark was her song.

That Thumbelina.

Born in a barley-corn flower to an infertile woman, who couldn't have any babies because (aiyoh because she didn't have any husband lah), Thumbelina was a joy to behold. A pretty maiden was she, and because of her little twittle slight frame, no one knew of her beauty, and of course, she was meant for the pleasure of one woman, and one woman only. That was her mother.

This was, indeed, a fantastic arrangement. First, Thumbelina in her barley-corn pod; secondly, Thumbie's Mummy always smiling down at her. How nice? Yea? How nice?

Well, nice things do not last, and this things we know by heart. What happened was, a lot of small ugly animals 'mm chi leong' (dunno own kuasa). They never looked in a mirror to see if they were of the same species or not, never even think about whether they are suitable for pretty Thumbie.

All also wanted Thumbie to keep as a wife.

One of these mm-chi-leong punya beings was an ugly heegly toad. He was so ugly, his whole body was sticked over with dipshit, as if someone threw black acid all over his body. Hideous like hell.

Hideous also never mind. Not guts also. You know what he did? He threw the process of courting into his mother's 'clever' webfeet. He told his mother, 'Mama, I want a wife…croak…'

And his Mama was nice to him, she actually kidnapped poor Thumbie from the barley-corn flower, and prepared a nice little bed for Thumbie to sleep on.

Bodoh sial that stupid toad, he think what, Thumbie is not a frog. Thumbie is not a toad. Of course he cannot marry Thumbie.

So poor little Thumbie, she sat in her bed made by the Mama Toad, and two long trails of big big tears kept rolling down her cheeks as she thought of her mummy and her barley-corn flower home… And yet, she was locked in, and there was nothing she could do except stare out at the wide big world and hope… for help.

Suddenly, a masked face peered through the window. Thumbie screamed!

Freaked out mah. Suddenly got masked face staring into your face, you get shocked or not? I would have screamed, whether or not it was Spiderman who had come to save the day.

Whatever, but the point is, Thumbie was in great fortune because Spiderman WAS THERE to save the day. And best thing of all, he was almost as big as she was, just slightly bigger than a little thumb.

Spidey was nimble, Spidey was quick, and with a quick hammer, the window was smashed. He lifted her out of her little prison, and Thumbelina said quickly, 'Oh thank you, thank you!'

Spidey's response was muffled…' MMmm…mmm…'

Tau-pun-lah-you,, how to talk when you have nylon covering your entire face including the mouth? So he pointed to the great outdoors, and held Thumbie's small hand.

'Are we to run away?' asked little Thumbelina.

He nodded. And ran they did.

They ran, and they ran, and after about 50 cm of running, they came to a place that surrounded them with barbed wire.

Spidey cut it quickly and they escaped across the wires. They ran and they ran, they ran very very far away and then they came to Pasir Ris.

After that they still ran and ran and ran, and they came to a place with trees and lots of nice green things.

Thumbelina looked at Spiderman, wah he look very handsome like that, but got mask over his face. He had a good body. And his costume accentuated his 'assets'.

'Down there also look not bad,' thought she to herself. 'Wah I wonder what he looks like behind that red red mask.'

Their pace had now slowed down, for they had arrived in a little wood, and there didn't seem to be any dangerous animals around them. After a while, they both arrived in a meadow full of green green grass, and Spidey was rolling around in the grass, feeling the fresh green smell of freedom under the sun.

Thumbelina laughed to see such a sight, and she walked up to Spidey, and gave him a peck on his masked chin.

'You are Spiderman, yes are you not?' she asked.
'Mmmm..mm.mmmm.mmmm flk,' mumbled the masked man.
'I thought you were larger than life.'
'Mmm fk fk fk.'
'Why did you save my life?'

At this, Spidey whipped out a huge cardboard, and taking a huge pen out of nowhere (he's Spiderman and apparently, Spiderman can do anything…), he wrote out in bold…

If I could reach out and hold a star for everytime you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand.

Thereafter, Thumbelina smiled, Spiderman must have smiled (I think so lah but I don't really know because he was wearing a mask), and after that they lived happily ever after.

Well that is the end of my silly story for today. The original Thumbelina is far too long, and I found this cute little site full of Spiderman-pictures. I just had to link the fella. Funny dude, the Spidey photos were quite ingenious, I must say.

Oh yeah, there is another point in this silly little story-telling exercise. I have a brain full of crap. Don't try to analyze it so thoroughly and think about my life lah my religion lah, what I do with my life lah, whether I compromise privacy or not lah, what Eric thinks lah, whether I am a virgin or not lah, whether I sleep around or not lah, whether I'm an Atheist or Buddhist or Christian lah, whether I have affairs with bloggers lah, whether I have shit in my brain or not lah, whether I have fat in my thighs or whether I have a cock or not lah… all that kind of shit.

It's none of your fucking business.

At the end of the day, I'm a normal person, just like Spiderman.

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