Things they teach kids these days

Friday, July 22nd, 2005 @ 10:03 am | Story-teller

Am working yes I am. But I keep seeing this all over one of the chapters and excuse me but maybe being 20-something, all screwed up and all that has messed up my mind. But here is what I'm dealing with at work now:

This particular chapter aims to teach children how to pronounce words that start with the initial 'b' sound and how to spell the numbers 1-5 in their word forms. The content provides the following rubric (instruction in teaching terms):

Read a story about Ben and learn the following words, phrases and simple sentences:
boy, Ben, books, balls, bananas, Ben and bananas, Ben is in bed

I'm not sure how the word 'bananas' got into the picture. Ideally in an introductory chapter, children should not be given a polysyllabic word that sticks out like a sore thumb amongst its monosyllabic friends. 'boy', 'books', 'balls' and 'bananas'. Where on earth did 'bananas' come from?

There's a song for singing at one of the chapter.

One book, two books, three books, four.
One ball, two balls, three balls, four.
One banana, two bananas, three bananas, four.

OK this isn't nearly as bad. In part of the chapter there's this other section about questions and answers and a few new words are introduced to the child. The Teacher's Guide provides help to teachers and this is what part of it says:

Encourage pupils to respond to questions. Examples:
Ben has two balls in his box. How many balls does Ben have in his box?
Why is Ben looking at the bananas?
Did Ben eat the bananas?

:shock:

The Activity sheet looks quite dodgy too. Check this out.

Listen and repeat the following.
Ben and his ball.
Ben kicks his ball.
Up, up, up.
Down, down, down.
Ben kicks the ball
Up, up, up.
It is in the tree.
Ben kicks the ball.
Up, up, up.
Down, down, down.
Ben kicks the ball.
Down, down, down.
It is in the box.

OK. That, my friends, is what I do at work. Read things like that.

19 Responses to “Things they teach kids these days”

  1. bittersweet Says:

    I am starting to think crooked after reading this post:roll:

  2. NekoKensei Says:

    So will Ben’s england be powderful if he plays with his balls in his box? :shock:

  3. Pam Says:

    :twisted:

    Good morning!! hmmmmmmmmm so fast they teach kiddos this liao ar… So in future they’ll refer to my balls n banana…haha!

    one banana,two banana, ?? :???:

    Haffa great weekend dear minishorts!!

  4. ah pek Says:

    always see your name here and there. today got a little free so i pop in to say hello.
    “hALOO”

  5. james Says:

    Heh. Can you look again? Did they write “Ben has two balls and one banana”? :twisted:

  6. Giant Sotong Says:

    I write things like that. The only things different are the words: instead of “balls” and “bananas” I throw in “Windows”, “mouseclick”, “database”, etc.

    Can die man, reading and editing stuff on long stretches.

  7. cynical-idealist Says:

    Hahahaha! That made my morning after a rough night. :D

    Thanks.

  8. anon Says:

    oh god… u working at smart reader or some place like that??? hmm.. perhaps kumon? hahaha

  9. Lainie Says:

    Yknow, I had to try real hard not to pervert that in my head…and I don’t think it worked..

  10. Andrew Says:

    If you think that was bad, take a look at this children television clip:

    http://www.keenaschips.co.uk/index.php?page=articles/misc_rainbow

  11. minishorts Says:

    Andrew: i’ve watched that episode before. that show was a purposedly filmed, for adults, tongue in cheek show… it was never shown on TV.

  12. Jonathan Says:

    That video was also quite dodgy
    I th ink most of us “older” ones only see those contents abit..crooked, but to children, i believe their naiveness will take over

    ps. Ur blog layout is not bad at all leh :cool:

  13. Evelyn Says:

    The last one very funny leh!!!!

  14. Elaine Says:

    HAHAHA! When you told me over msn I was distracted with work and didn’t notice. Now..reading this..omg..everything sounds so WRONG! :lol:

    p/s. I’m going home to screen through my niece’s children’s book. Must be a good aunt. Heh. :twisted:

  15. Dabido (Teflon) Says:

    One Banana Two Banana - ripping off Banana Splits theme song! Grrrrrrrr! It goes:

    One banana, two banana, three banana, four
    Four bananas make a bunch and so do many more.
    Over hill and highway the banana buggies go
    Comin’ to bring you the Banana Split show
    Makin’ up a mess of fun, makin’ up a mess of fun
    Lots of fun for everyone

    (CHORUS)
    Tra la la, la la la la
    Tra la la, la la la la

    Four banana, three banana, two banana, one
    All bananas playin’ in the bright warm sun.
    Flippin’ like a pancake, popping like a cork
    Fleegle, Bingo, Drooper an’ Snork

    (REPEAT CHORUS)

    Two banana, four banana, one banana, three
    Swingin’ like a bunch on monkeys, hangin’ from a tree.
    Hey there, ev’rybody, won’t you come along and see
    How much like Banana Splits ev’ryone can be

    (REPEAT CHORUS)

    Makin up a mess of fun
    Makin up a mess of fun
    Happiness for ev’ryone
    Tra la la, la la la la
    Tra la la, la la la la
    Tra la la, la la la la

  16. MorpheusX Says:

    Damn…I think Ben had 1 too many kicks in his balls:shock:

  17. sofia Says:

    children aren’t quite so naive these days. :???: some kid (and not necessarily a boy) is gonna get the banana/balls thing.
    which isn’t so bad.
    but the activity sheet is just…very sad.

  18. Zen Says:

    Well either they must b paying u alot to werk, u like it a lot or u r secretly a hotel heiress and doin ur dayjob for fun…:wink:

  19. Bush Says:

    Good job.

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