It must be the haze
This is the stupid (lack of) view from my seat at the office… there's SUPPOSED to be a very nice view of the lake, which is conveniently missing in action because of the stupid haze.
Anyway.
I was actually going about to blog about the horrible state of things this morning. You know, log on to the Net, log into my WP admin, type a quick post about the terrible shroud of haze that's befallen us… And then you know lah what happened, another stray ghost that slipped out of hell before the gates are officially opened decided to pay me a friendly visit.
KNNCB.
Oh well, she's been known to do this before, so I really shouldn't bother, after all, it comes in a package, for every 10 people who love you, there will be another 10 who don't like you… so I shouldn't really bother.
It's easier said than done of course, and yes, Kit, sorry, but this is one of those days that I'm in a generous mood to feed the hungry ghosts trolls. 
Now where was I?
Now of course I rant about it, and usually I have to rant to people who understand, you know, souls of a kindred spirit and all that sort. So Vincent's one of these people, but previously he was offline to buy pressies for people like me, and he was missing for a bit. Vincent's online more often these days, thank goodness for the end of his holidays, so he was there to talk to me about the scenario. So we were sharing jokes and tell-alls about the crazy people who visit our blogs, and he had these to say about the trolls,
These ppl, they say only they dont like u…bla bla bla… but they keep reading ur blog. I have one such fan, when u post good stuffs they laugh and keep quiet…then they just pounce when they feel like it…when u write something they dont like…they start bitching about it. They have to keep reading u….and keep following ur posts…and wait till u write something they dont like…then they get kicks out of criticizing it.
You know it's easier to say patronizing statements like, 'You're famous, and hey this comes with the package, you should live with it,' as in, that fact is easier heard than accepted. But let's be honest here yeah, I don't really get much of it, if you wanted to compare me to people like Kenny and XX. Kenny's even got a freaking bastard who set up his blog just to scrutinize his blog for blunders, and when Kenny slips, then only the idiots posts something. Like Uncle Belacan said, that is WAY WAY WAY under the belt… and then let's not talk about XX, who has sites dedicated to hating her, so clever liddat.
So I don't get it as much as these people do, but yeah lah, you also know I get weird stuff.
The point is, I'm human, yeah, and as much as I try to brush off lines like, 'I hope you shrivel and die soon,' or 'People like her will just go to hell, and I think that will happen very soon,' OF COURSE I will feel a pinch, that slight pain that makes me wince, a bit, just a bit. (SFX: everybody please sniff and say 'awwww')
OK. Sometimes, it's not just a wince. Sometimes, I scowl in pain. It really depends on my original mood, and with the stupid haze (you know I can't see Dr M's house adi from where I'm sitting at the office, usually it's big and clear), I'm slightly more sensitive these days, so you you you hungry little trolls, here it is, the big wide door open for you to come in and jab jab jab, you'll hurt me most right now cos I'm weaker these days. I mean, who knows, if you do it well enough, I'll fulfill your wishes, shrivel up, and DIEEEEE… then maybe finally, you know those fireworks you've stored up for so long can finally be put to good used.
But there is one universal truth, I say. This is the blogosphere, this is cyberspace, and it is, hello, MAN-MADE. Which means that every man-like feature will come together with it. No matter what you do, the unchanging reality stays and remains the same. It's the same hierarchical shit. I read a blog not too long ago about cyberspace originally being the refugee camp for outcasts in the real world. You can hide behind computer screens and pretend you're a babe and a hunk, and you can live easy in the knowledge that you're safe, safe from all the scrutizing eyes etc etc.
And then it evolved, of course it did, it's MAN-MADE remember? It's a community, remember? It needs to mature. Just like on that very first day of school in Year 1, when everyone entered the classroom as equals, things will change and things will grow. By the end of Year 1, you see the brighter people shining through, it doesn't really matter whether that person is ugly or pretty, it'll be like this, the cliques will form, the girls will grow up, the guys will, urm, grow up too (albeit a little slower lah :wink:)… then suddenly in the middle of Year 2, a new person joins the classroom, and WHOA, he's an instant hit with every one.
It's a vicious cycle, but it's life. And you can't just walk away, walk out of it.
What's the real world this days?
It's cyberspace darling, and you know, you just might be right, people like me and Vincent might just be same social outcasts in the real world. But right now, this is the reality for us, the real world here. Sphere mates, sphere enemies? I don't really want to say I don't care, but unfortunately, thank you, and thank you very much, I don't really care, because I'm in no position to care, no, not anymore.
So yeah, because it's easy for me to say, and it is true, you can't make it otherwise, when you only comment when I slip, you sound jealous. When you say something hurtful when Kenny makes a blunder, you look like a tiny willy. When you write horrible horrible mails to XX calling her a midget, you look like a freaking underdog who will UNFORTUNATELY, remain the underdog. And when you keep hiding behind a pseudonym just because you're too scared to let people know just how ugly in real life you are, you're doing no justice to your already terribly beaten ego. There are other ways to feel good about yourself, you know, and bashing up some femes person is just pathetic.
Try meditation. It helps. Really one. Or you know, get out in the haze more often. It will choke you up more than I do.
August 10th, 2005 at 10:53 am
I think this issue should be really studied and categorized as a mental illness. There is definitely a way to treat these trolls. The suffer from trollonoherpia perhaps. Cool name, eh. With all the cyberhype building up, it’s only logical that there are so many people are affected by it.
August 10th, 2005 at 11:52 am
hey,
i enjoy rading ur blog daily, and it is a choice i make, the same as your other readers. You are right, it is your site and you pay for it. So for those who insult you, just tell them to go to hell :evil:..as for you, do keep on blogging! And me, I will keep reading:razz:
August 10th, 2005 at 11:59 am
i see you are starting to incoporate my sfx thingy in your blog. nice.
August 10th, 2005 at 12:22 pm
I’ve been wondering why I don’t seem to have that many trolls, and finally I understood; only femes ppl are allowed to have their own troll club.
August 10th, 2005 at 12:23 pm
oi viewtru… get your ass online adi. i wanna continue the interview
August 10th, 2005 at 1:15 pm
ai too long
August 10th, 2005 at 1:44 pm
have this urge to tell you to take things less seriously for what they are, but i won’t noe how u feel in this situation. trolls don’t noe u so they sit by the roadside and chuck pebbles, but you let the pebbles bounce off while you sneer at them behind the windows… like what u did with the troll post. so clever!
August 10th, 2005 at 2:10 pm
yeah the haze is fucking it all up
it is everything.
nice post anyway
August 10th, 2005 at 2:54 pm
This machine I am using does not have Msg. Company policies. And by Msg, I don’t mean Ajinomoto!
August 10th, 2005 at 5:20 pm
chill babe..this is the price you pay to become ‘femes’. but what the heck, just ignore them, and they will shut up eventually…and hopefully.
btw, the haze in ur picture look much worse than those i took myself.
August 10th, 2005 at 7:16 pm
U know, it was hailing in Subang Jaya a moment ago. Around 5 pm I guess. Too bad I wasn’t there!
August 10th, 2005 at 7:23 pm
I am surprised you are still posting on this subject. Haven’t you scared all the trolls off already with your other posts about this?
Anyway, just keep on blogging. All femes people attract crazies who want a part of them. (I remember from my days as a rock musician. So many think you are in love with them, or are your best friend, or they hate you for something you supposedly did to them. Yet, you really don’t know them, and they don’t know you, and you might never have even met them before).
August 10th, 2005 at 10:30 pm
It really is getting more and more difficult to blog these days because there’s so many ppl out there who bring you down. And most of the time I’m just like… “What… what did I do now?”.
I can’t write a freaking post nowadays without offending someone. Even my request for ppl to pledge for charity was being attacked.
Or worse, being viewed as “another strategy to get traffic to kennysia.com”
Times like these I ask myself… “Man, is this all REALLY worth it?”
Times like these I just feel like stop writing altogether because when the bad outweighs the good - it simply isn’t worth it anymore.
Writing used to make me happy. Now, it just makes me sad.
August 10th, 2005 at 11:28 pm
Kenny: when i read stuff like this, I remember the virtues of anonymity.
Minishorts: maybe it’s really just the weather. When I landed in KLIA today, I could actually smell the bloody haze ***shudder*** Made me beat a hasty retreat back and banish all thoughts of trolling ..not other blogs … but Klang Valley shopping complexes. Anyway, chin up.
August 11th, 2005 at 12:43 am
mini & kenny: Poor gal and guy
just think of the silent majority (and bunch of x so silent) readers out there who really enjoy (not neccessarily like or agree with) the stuffs you gal and guy put onto your blog. March on… 
On second thought, I think these trolls too enjoy reading your stuff, otherwise how do we explain the logik behind their never ending visit to your sites.
Bashing u with their seriously and excessively lacking of civilities and humor, just show that they are damn jeles of your humor…
trolls: f**k off… I know you won’t - the exact same way that you know mini and kenny won’t stop posting their OWN view just because of your animosities
August 11th, 2005 at 6:30 am
hmm..actually,i have to admit i am sort of a troll. i once happened on this singaporean girl’s blog which condemned people who read anything other than classics. fair enough it IS her blog after all and that she should be free to say what she wants to, but if i don’t condemn her for being a snob and trying to stand out by only reading classics, she has no right to call me shallow just because i read almost everything from magazines to classics to chiq lit to horror. oh wait..stop stop..i am trying to explain myself too much..but anyway, i do sympathise with the problems you get and i DO think it is unfair for them not to comment when you blog something they agree with..personally, you should of course just keep it up!!
August 11th, 2005 at 8:30 am
kenny: yeah, i said a while ago blogging relieves stress… nowadays it seems to add to it…
August 11th, 2005 at 11:32 am
minishorts, kenny, ditto
August 11th, 2005 at 2:28 pm
Wow! Your office overlooks a lake? That’s good feng shui! (I think) And good view too!
August 11th, 2005 at 2:36 pm
yvonne: yeah but the lake is MIA! like, MIA!
August 11th, 2005 at 6:31 pm
Don’t worry. it’ll be back in action soon. I’m sure it will.
August 12th, 2005 at 2:21 am
i’ve got this theory where trolls and flamers only appear on blogs after they reach past the 30-hits-a-day mark. after that, they increase proportionately with the hits. yours is probably about 3000, so there.
may explain amount of criticism directed toward XX, although her style of writing doesn’t exactly douse the flames. (i personally like XX though) even kenny, whose blog hardly offends anyone, gets flamed. like, wtf.
your blog’s the same as before IMO, i guess people aren’t happy that you’re replacing posts on your personal life with some Al Yankovic-esque parodies. cos you know, people just like emo writings. but then again, tough luck la. your choice what. =)
oh well, stay cool.
August 16th, 2005 at 1:18 pm
[...] u know? Kuzco asked for me and I obliged. This is the lake that was missing in action a week before. I took this with my camera phone. Considering the fact that so many of you responded, I thoug [...]
August 17th, 2005 at 7:03 pm
Hmm….just wondering, u were once using pseudonym too *as I am as well* No offense though. I really hate blog politics. I know - everyone is entitled their two cents *yada yada*…but maybe if it is just a rambling thought, perhaps wiser to keep mum . Oh well, tt’s my two cents! =p cheers
October 8th, 2006 at 5:56 pm
[...] Even minishorts talks about haze! Do you realize what does this mean? It’s like Bush commenting on Michigan affirmative action admission policy! But then, a couple sentences later, I realized that she doesn’t actually talk about haze per se. So, it’s more like Menj trying to talk about religious freedom but instead ended talking about nonsense and then calling others morons. [...]