Actually, it’s all in the lips
Yesterday I asked you guys whether you had tips to sort of 'predict' whether the person you're seeing would be good in bed or not.
I also said that in my very humble opinion, I personally perceive a person to be agreeably geng-chao in bed by seeing whether he has a high sexual drive or not. So now, The Minishorts Formula (I purposely put like this so that you guys don't go around saying that it's THE formula ok.. this is my formula and if you want to follow its not my fault) to predict if a person is good at sex is this:
The Minishorts Formula
If the other person has a high sexual drive, this probably means he or she is damn good in bed.
Means that if he wants sex a lot, he is highly likely to be good at sex also… this one is using the secret skill of common sense, as in, if the person see you already want to jump on you, he probably thinks of a lot of ways to make sex more exciting… so of course that person will be a bom-cha-cha-la-la-la in bed.
Now that you know this basic Formula let's get on to how to use this knowlege. I mean, you can't really tell whether a guy has a high sexual drive, can you? Not like you want the person you're meeting to hamsap hamsap you and then you adi know that he is going to be good in bed right?
Some more you know lah, a hamsap person does NOT necessarily have a high physical drive. He might be damn green at all this, and you know, he might have been brought up to learn that it is normal for guys to touch girls, or maybe, how you know, maybe he never see nehneh before so he just want to use you to experiment. Mana tau later on he only realize, 'Achelly hoh, I don't quite like to squeeze breasts one lor… I prefer to watch cartoon.'
See you never know right?
Fortunately, for us, THERE IS A WAY to see if a person has a high sexual drive or not, JUST BY LOOKING at his (or her) face, and specifically, just by looking at the lips. Today I am going to teach you how to check out for these little signs ON the lips, and teach you how to 'test the goods' before you make your decision to buy. But first, here's the technique in simple terms:
Upper lips = emotional drive
Lower lips = physical drive
Now, emotional drive refers to a person's need for sentimental, emotional and spiritual stuff. Whereas physical drive refers to the sex bit. Now logically speaking, we can measure the highs and lows of both drives based on thickness of the lips, which means to say
Thick = high
Thin = low
Clear?
By this law you deduce that upper lips thick means that person is probably craving a lot of sentimentalism in his/her partner, while thicker lower lips says that the person craves a lot of good sex in his/her partner (also suggest that that person should be damn power in bed). Thin upper lips leh, means that person is probably the bochap type, your birthday your anniversary also he prolly won't remember. Thin lower lips ah… then tikong help you lah, he will prolly be that type who come fast fast, sleep fast fast (or if it's a she, everytime you want to do you will hear her say, 'Tired lah dunwan lah.')
OK. Now that you've got that down, here comes the examples. Let's look at some pictures of famous people, starting off with Miss Angelina Jolie, the object of desire in many a guy's wet dreams.
Mr Smith, on the other hand, has also a pretty high sex drive, but, he's not the sentimental type, and neither does he care whether you remember his birthday or not.
I took quite sometime scouring the Net for someone with thin-thin lips, and guess what? I ended up with toyboy Orlando Bloom. Super sad man, this guy, lips thin thin, top thin, bottom also thin, probably sucks in bed, probably don't like guys, don't like girls also. Useless fella.
If you want a good example of balanced lips, check out Halle Berry. Her lips are damn nice ok… see, top and bottom lip both also almost same thickness, some more not too thick, not too thin. This one is good wife material, she probably will get a bit edgy if you forget your anniversary, but plump lower lips also means she'll be damn fun in bed.
Because I'm a blogger, of course I'll talk about bloggers (including myself, afturds you guys say I don't talk about myself). So let's start off with the notorious Furong Jie Jie. Damn hard to find photos of her man, but here I've got to extend a special thanks to Vincent who helped me source for this Mona Lisa spoof… which shows that she's got the Orlando Bloom curse.
Her so called 'nemesis', who photoshopped her into a walrus, Mr Very Femes Kennysia, has the Brad Pitt curse.
No wonder he say he got big balls. It's literal. Well, probably good in bed lah I guess, but sentimentally wise-ah… you got a lot of catching up to do lor, Kenny, but never fear, got Botox still.
The blogosphere's official toyboy YongFook Bukake Addict has no regards for sentimentality. See this pic? Yeah lah I know he is super lengchai but hello, look at the lower lip, jutting out like a flabby deformed calamari liddat, this guy's sex drive is probably unmatchable. He's DANGEROUS, girls, DANGEROUS.
As for me, this picture tells you all.
So there, there you have it. How to see if the person is going to be good in bed, and a good husband/wife material or not, by looking at the lips.
Well, of course, other things matter, staring at a person's lips is just the tip of the iceberg. There are other skills which I have picked up at the recent Secrets of Face Reading talk by Joey Yap (haha gotcha, this is a review of a talk I attended). But there's just too many things to see, cannot be revealed in one post (as it is, this post is like super long adi).
So anyway, if you want to do more than merely lip-read, there's the book, Mian Xiang: Discover Face Reading, and the Mian Xiang mastery series course which you can sign up for.
Right. Now you can go and start staring at other people's lips to decide if that person is good in bed or not.
August 17th, 2005 at 10:41 am
Given the way I stare at people, I know I gonna kena slap today
August 17th, 2005 at 10:41 am
Dia punya sex drive unmatchable? Hah. Wait and see.
August 17th, 2005 at 10:51 am
Lol, now I’m going to scrutinise the lips of every potential I meet, as well as find out their hamsupness.
August 17th, 2005 at 11:34 am
I take the second half of that back.
August 17th, 2005 at 11:36 am
And I was just about to say you can be a qualified face reader feng shui type person already. LoL! Anyway, as a side note, don’t let feng shui get the better of you.
August 17th, 2005 at 11:51 am
wah interesting interesting post! scanning my female officemates oledi hehehe
August 17th, 2005 at 12:00 pm
wah, my sexytary’s one damn power! too bad she’s leaving for another state. rats!
August 17th, 2005 at 12:26 pm
Sounds extremely familiar
got anything to do with Joey Yap’s talks on Mian Xiang?
August 17th, 2005 at 12:27 pm
so by your definition, suan’s picture here http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v643/karyeong/suan.jpg would mean that she’s being super good in bed?
scary….
August 17th, 2005 at 12:54 pm
really or not one.. like that me damn hyper on bed la then… but how come i only hyper when 1nitestand and not with my gf ar?
August 17th, 2005 at 1:04 pm
which lips?
ok… if i use view/text/medium your blog is swee swee but now everyone elses is too darn big lah!
i give up.
nice blog by the way.
August 17th, 2005 at 1:10 pm
MUST SEE THE LIPS IN THE ‘RESTING’ POSITION ONE… GEDDIT?
August 17th, 2005 at 1:15 pm
minishorts, i thot u wanna teach us how to view if the man is virgin or not…:grin:
August 17th, 2005 at 2:09 pm
why the sexiest women always got thick lips ar?
August 17th, 2005 at 2:49 pm
well well well….then i got to ask my fren about her bf..damn she always complain when “king gai” with me..her bf will want it all night long, but all the same style…shes f**king bored with it..and cus she dont wanna hurt the blokes feelings…she sometimes has to “act” as shes enjoying it…
other than lips ah sifu..what about for those people whom says your arms hair long ah? what does it mean? just humsup oni??
August 17th, 2005 at 3:02 pm
ROTFL…wah…like that wan is it?
Both Naz and I got thick lips weh…so true so true..LOL…:lol:
August 17th, 2005 at 3:05 pm
I actually interested to look at whole body aside from the lips to decide if I want to do her or not.
August 17th, 2005 at 3:20 pm
There are other ways of course, other parts of the body and face to look out for, but you have to buy Joey’s books or sign up for his courses!
August 17th, 2005 at 3:37 pm
I have pretty thick lips. Hell, I’m the male equivalent of Angelina Jolie.
*goes off and admires himself on mirror*
August 17th, 2005 at 3:39 pm
Admire myself IN mirror, I meant. Typo.
August 17th, 2005 at 4:57 pm
I saw you at the face reading seminar.hehee.. And this upper lips thicker than lower lips part is the most easy to remember of all the tips he given during the seminar… hahaa
August 17th, 2005 at 5:00 pm
woot!! i have thick lips… hahahaha…but i’m not even 18 yet…
August 17th, 2005 at 5:03 pm
And ever since, I’m always scanning people’s lips!
August 17th, 2005 at 5:06 pm
I know this guy who has peeling lips… and he peels them.. and over the years, his lips have gone really thick o_0
so yeah.. maybe we could all start peeling
August 17th, 2005 at 6:11 pm
woah…thank goodness i left my gf..or else i would’ve been raped now…
August 17th, 2005 at 6:24 pm
thanks for the tips
no wonder I’m always attracted to thick lower lips women 
August 17th, 2005 at 7:12 pm
my sex drive will increase 10x after assam laksa if i follow Minishorts Formula.
August 17th, 2005 at 7:57 pm
Now you’ve made me start looking at everyone’s lips!~ (and wondering… teehee~)
Maybe having fishlips isn’t so bad after all~!!
August 17th, 2005 at 8:25 pm
say, after all this, are we gonna pick THE ONE by scrutinizing the lips???
August 17th, 2005 at 8:41 pm
can become face reader and resign as editor liao =P
August 17th, 2005 at 9:01 pm
hahaha… very interesting read! havta tahan myself from laughing when reading your post during lunch time in office, funny and witty the way you write. i was showing your post to my colleagues (mat salleh) and we had a good laugh.
August 17th, 2005 at 9:12 pm
i’m gonna print this out and put it on the wall in office ;p
August 17th, 2005 at 9:28 pm
hahahas..rotfl! this is interesting lar..from now on those who see this post might go ard lookin at ppl’s lips lar.lolx…~hahas..so if sumone is looking for a sex partner..they can just look at their lips
August 17th, 2005 at 10:36 pm
LOL aiseh i both aso tink woh….sei lor sure damn mah fan wan lah me? >.< oh noOOOoOoo i sure kenot get married liaoz liddat….wwwuwuwuuuUuuuUuU
August 17th, 2005 at 10:37 pm
*both aso thick (typo)
August 17th, 2005 at 11:24 pm
First you look at her upper lip
Then you look at her lower lip
Then you look at her vaginal lips
Then got to read her upper lip with your lips
Then got to read her lower lip with your lips
Then got to read….and so on…
Why this fung sui theory so complicated one?
August 17th, 2005 at 11:49 pm
Forget the lips. This is how to tell how much someones sex drive is on a scale of zero to five.
0) They do nothing.
1) They start humping your leg.
2) You hit them with a frypan, they are still humping your leg.
3) You use a crowbar to try to force them off you, somehow they still manage to be there humping your leg.
4) You drive a large truck into them. They still manage to hold on humping your leg.
5) You rip their beating heart out of their chest to stop the blood flow to their private parts. Somehow, even though they are dead, they are still humping your leg.
Now THAT is a sex drive!
August 18th, 2005 at 12:53 am
Whooaaa…Dabido, that’s crazy, man. The guy or woman must have a volcanic sex drive…which reminds me of Gabriel Marquez’s One Hundred Years of Solitude, which I read a few years back… The sex was explosive (my opinion at least)… also metaphorical of how screwed Colombia is - the novel is part allegory of Colombia’s history.
Anyway, anybody considered physical fitness? That plays a part too, as you can;t expcet an unfit person to go on and on and on…through the night/day.
August 18th, 2005 at 1:44 am
shit lar, now i have to photoshop my lips…
August 18th, 2005 at 8:33 am
hehe… jimmy your lips like orlando bloom’s izzit?
viewtru: it’s not fengshui lah… it’s the study of physiognomy (ah.. you write wuxia you should know a bit of this) … hehehe… anyway your review’s up next… and i sure hope NO MORE REVIEWS for me to do… not like i’m getting paid also haha.
August 18th, 2005 at 12:09 pm
Review up next? Ooooooh……I can’t wait! Okay, I know you are not getting paid for this. But just one time only okay? If got next time, I will go and kacau Suanie, now that I know she write movie reviews.
August 18th, 2005 at 12:41 pm
Eh, how about boy boy’s lips leh? Hmm, besides stirring anticlockwise and longer 2nd toe, perhaps if a man can boogie on the dance floor (got sense of rhythm), got style (knows how to take care of girl girl’s needs), adventurous in food (some kamasutra?) also can determine whether he’s GIB leh?
August 18th, 2005 at 3:15 pm
:shock:this formula i actually heard from someone(feng shui guy) through a show in Astro last time…:mrgreen:
August 18th, 2005 at 4:08 pm
Hi.
Great post.
Your writings are very intellectual and I am impressed. Awesome blog.
And this post is funny. I think I should check out my lips… Maybe need to edit it a bit, through photoshop… Lols. Just kidding.
Keep it up.
August 18th, 2005 at 4:22 pm
kyels: like this also intellectual ah! thanks anyway.
sigh.. no time to slot in another post.
August 18th, 2005 at 6:50 pm
Might want to check this out:
Too much sex, so woman drugs fiance. The Star.
http://www.thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2005/8/18/courts/11807131&sec=courts
The fiance had an overpowering sex drive I would say, at 53, he wanted sex 35 times a week, which averages 5 times a day!!!
August 18th, 2005 at 7:22 pm
Dreamer Idiot: Yeah, I can’t wait till I’m 53 so mine slows down a bit too.
August 18th, 2005 at 8:19 pm
Okay, I have placed a picture of myself with my lips resting on my site Minishorts, and I’d like to know what you think of them.
What do they meeeeeeeeeeeeaaaannnn ???? hee hee 
August 18th, 2005 at 9:09 pm
i have thin lips, but i’m still great in bed ! how seow lah this theory !
August 18th, 2005 at 10:12 pm
Hi Minishorts,
Well, this post is funny.
But other categories… Damn nice. Honestly.
Cheers!
August 19th, 2005 at 1:08 am
I like thick lips girl. But that’s not what I wanna say. The thing is for Furong Jie Jie, that’s a bad example because no need to see lips also wanna give her a bitch slap already lar….:lol:
August 19th, 2005 at 4:40 am
haha, i photoshopped my lips ady. my lips at first ok wan, but in order to make it WOW, just want to see how it looks like if i’m really THAT GOOD IN BED!
August 19th, 2005 at 5:59 pm
Mian Xiang - Feng Shui Face Reading - Joey Yap
So I went to this face reading thingy…
August 19th, 2005 at 9:05 pm
August 24th, 2005 at 5:47 am
go to ming tien in taman mayang (pj people) and have the taiwanese super super hot chilli powder sausage with 5 glasses of shuet cha. your lips will be so so balanced.
August 26th, 2005 at 7:18 pm
[...] Sad but true, that our copycat not only copy the words, but even the pictures are leeched from Minishorts’ own domain. Finally, the copycat did the weirdest act of stupidity by copying only half of the original. [...]
September 1st, 2005 at 3:30 am
The fatal flaw of a femme fatale
A femme fatale seems to have made the fatal error of hotlinking pictures off the site she has just plagiarised. When Claire called and told me about it, I laughed so hard I almost peed in my pants. I remarked it was like robbing a bank and leaving a money
August 19th, 2006 at 11:54 pm
[...] On Minishorts blog she recently posted regarding lips being the way that you can tell how SEXUAL a person is. I wondered how true it is. I just dug up this old photo of myself (okay, it’s about a year old or something) and thought I’d have a look. Wonder how Minishorts would rate my lips on this one. [I guarantee 100% that this has not been altered with photoshop!] (Yeah, I had long hair at that stage. Unlike my short hair now). [...]
May 10th, 2007 at 3:59 pm
You think you’re a psychologist? You’re a moron.
Oh yeah, Mrs Smith has collogen in her lips. Mr. Smith is blowing into a cup, so his bottom lip appears larger than it actually is.
Get an education.
May 22nd, 2007 at 12:20 am
that was so stupid but that was the truth
June 23rd, 2007 at 2:01 pm
he would b great in bed u no nufin his lips ain’t 2 fin he’s a man, men ain’t subpost 2 have fat lips, so stop bein a bitch and leave him alon
September 1st, 2007 at 3:41 pm
i VE GOT a thick lis upper and lower, but i am sometimes bother with it, wish to have slightly thinner so its balance with ma face