Hun, it’s because he’s a ‘he’
Just the other night a friend, who was having a senseless tiff with her darling over a case of 'why doesn't he ever buy me anything without me asking him for it' situation, called me for a hearing shoulder to cry on.
Now on any other occasion where I was caught in a more private position, I would have been the fire-stone (batu api) bitch. I would have cheered her on with a 'you go girl, this kind of guy, you can sure f* him up when he gets back.'
As God would have had it, I was caught while sitting in a middle of a very horrible jam near the Rothmans roundabout, with a scowling boyfriend who was obviously fuming with anger at the non-moving crawl we were stuck in, and when my friend's distress call came a-beeping on the mobile, I ended up saying something more sensible like, 'Well hun, he CAN'T be as sensitive as we'd like him to be. I mean… if he were sensitive, he'd be a woman.'
So after a while, over-the-line hugs and it'll be okays done, I clicked the offline button and then Eric, nostrils flared up and voice gruff, said, 'How come you're not THAT sensible when we have our arguments.'
I was very very tempted to snarl at him to say, 'Oh well, that's cos you're a different kettle of fish, altogether', when then, I realised. Like oh yeah man. Did I just surpass myself or what?
So today I'd like to urge daughters, sisters, girlfriends and wives all over to remember this each time you start to think 'Why isn't he not sensitive to what I need?'
Here's the universal truth that you probably knew already deep inside, 'cept you didn't really have the guts to admit it, 'Oh well, hun, if he's sensitive, he'd be a woman.'
So there's that.
August 22nd, 2005 at 3:38 pm
If relationships can be perfected, this would have to be it;
Girls, understand him lot, love him a little.
~ Cut him loose. Let him do the things that he likes to do, and you’ll see him coming back to you everytime. Cage him up, and he’ll sneak out through the back door.
Guys, love her a lot, understand her a little (if you can).
~ Hold her dear. Just be accomodating, be prepared to give affection, and she’ll be happy. Just be prepared to give love without asking why. And girls just love surprises & pampering.
true?
August 22nd, 2005 at 3:48 pm
Apologies for Eric: he used ’sensible’ and ‘argument’ in the same sentence.
If there were doubts before, you now KNOW he’s a man, inside and outside.
Congrats!
August 22nd, 2005 at 3:48 pm
so now if i try to act abit more sensitive, you’ll label me gay? sien…
August 22nd, 2005 at 4:01 pm
try this: once i hinted that my bday gift should be accompanied by flowers. as in, “my birthday’s next week. you haven’t bought me flowers in a long time, huh…”
more like a signboard than a hint. but you know guys, gotta be more obvious abt it.
then he buys me a teddy bear to go along with the real gift.
they’re not insensitive, just very often completely oblivious.
August 22nd, 2005 at 4:27 pm
On the other hand, some men just don’t like the idea of spending hard-earned cash on something like flowers and soft-toys no matter how hard you try to get the message across that you love those things. *poor me*
It’s weird - most women love the frivolous, soft, sweet-smelling stuff whereas their partners prefer to give more practical things.
I still have a hard time trying to accept the idea that I’ll probably never ever see a bouquet of flowers from my dearie EVER (it’s been a year and still counting).
August 22nd, 2005 at 4:42 pm
HAHAHAHA!! This is the most common sensical post i have read for a long time. But i must admit man can improve on just being a little more sensitive
August 22nd, 2005 at 4:48 pm
I’m like that and Naz would always ask me what Eric ask you. And I would say “Coz you’re different!”
August 22nd, 2005 at 5:24 pm
hrm i tink the guys should be juz a lil tad more sensitive….wut is wrong wif buying things for no reason for ur gf? i mean c’mon if u love someone n u see something dat reminds u of dis person i would definitely buy it esp. if it something inexpensive…its the thought dat counts!
August 22nd, 2005 at 5:29 pm
I just stumbled upon this thread, but I just need to ask: do you girls give gifts to your boyfriends as well? I really hope you do. It’s a nice way to show your affection and appreciation to someone and shouldn’t be a one-way street.
August 22nd, 2005 at 5:44 pm
I give my guy to many pressies then.. sigh.. lol
August 22nd, 2005 at 6:18 pm
after he buy something, she’ll complaint he don’t know what she like…etc
if he buy something too expensive then she complaint he waste money pulak…
if he buy something “cheap” then she’ll say he’s kiamsiap….
if you give her rose every year for her birthday and suddenly got one time didn’t give her then she’ll think you don’t love her already
if every night you call her and suddenly one night you didn’t call her…she might think you’re probably dating other girls and forget about her already…
if she’s not troublesome ar….then she’s not a woman lar:evil:
August 22nd, 2005 at 6:48 pm
The easy solution: go for women.
August 22nd, 2005 at 7:32 pm
Am I the only guy left who keeps asking her whether she wants this or that, instead of her telling me she wants this or that? Am I on the brink of extinction?
Maybe men are truly oblivious. But we still love you.
August 22nd, 2005 at 7:55 pm
Women; can’t live with them, can’t live without them.
Love your advice. Will tell it to my better have. I just have to remember that if women are logical, then they would be men!:mrgreen:
August 22nd, 2005 at 8:13 pm
Lol.. whats the worst gift a girl ever got from their partner? i got a friend that gave his girlfriend a model ferarri for valentines(she said she wanted a car from him) and a electric shaver for her birthday(she kept whining about unwanted hair).. needless to say he really got many many mouthfuls from his girlfriend.. and not only that, from us too.. but you gotta admire his guts to do it not once but twice.. oh and by the way.. the following valentines he gave her a fone.. the red samsung one with “diamonds” when it first came out.. didnt hear her complain when she got that.. hehehe
August 22nd, 2005 at 8:19 pm
When we’re paktor-ing for the first 2-3 months, Des’ll buy flowers for me every week, at least.
Wahahha, now if he buy one I’ll get damn esthetic!! The frequency now drop to like one rose every 6 months! Haha.
But ok lah. I dun always ask from gifts from him.:razz:
August 22nd, 2005 at 9:12 pm
You don’t think Girls can be insensitive?
My ex wanted a watch … so for my birthday, she bought a $400 watch for me … that she wanted! She might as well have engraved her name on it. We ended up taking the watch back and getting the money for it … but I never saw the money, she kept it for herself. That was my B’day present that year!
Whenever I bought her flowers an arguement almost always followed as she wanted to know what I’d done wrong … then after proving that I hadn’t done anything wrong and that I was just being nice, she’d claim that I shoudl bring her flowers every week.
[Don't worry, I don't judge all women based on my ex].
Sensitive and non-sensitive are not restricted to male and female. I think Eric’s question was because you hurt his feelings. He sounds sensitive enough to be hurt by your comments.
Sensitive/non-sensitive probably more restricted to personality types (phlegmatics like to put other people before themselves. Sanguines think of themselves and their image first).
I can understand guys who don’t like buying flowers (they die so quick) or stuffed toys (they sit around looking cute and gathering dust). You might need to find something that your man is willing to buy that you want and he is willing to buy. That way he has a way to show his love without being forced into buying or doing something he feels is a waste.
Just my opinion. Hope it is helpful for someone, somewhere.
Remember this saying: Men/Women [Select The oposite sex to yourself]. Can’t live with them … aren’t allowed to shoot them!
Or as one of my female friends used to say … so many men, so few bullets!
August 22nd, 2005 at 9:27 pm
cash is always the bestest gift…:grin:
i had only seen indonesian chinese carried bundles of cash in the wallet….indonesian chinese are the richest ppl in the world…:grin:
August 22nd, 2005 at 11:26 pm
Huh? No metrosexual giving you a hot debate yet over that phrase?
August 23rd, 2005 at 12:26 am
“You might need to find something that your man is willing to buy that you want and he is willing to buy. That way he has a way to show his love without being forced into buying or doing something he feels is a waste.”
Ladies! how about sharing your opinions? What do you usually like a guy to buy for you? I have tried sandals, watch, a ring, flowers, stuffed toys, etc … any more bright ideas?
thanks in advance
August 23rd, 2005 at 12:26 am
i give guys i like gifts whether they like me back or not coz i juz felt like it i dun expect anything back…i dun c y other gals cannot do dat or guys cannot do dat for that matter…
August 23rd, 2005 at 5:22 am
Guys
Unfortunately for us, girls always want the fairy tale! They can be the most sensible, logical person as a friend but once you fall under their “tangled web” of love and become a bf…….. they want their knight in shining armour.
Don’t u knw that the fairy tale dragon and damsel in distress is one and the same person, just different aspects of the girl. Its a game they want us to play, just overcome their defences(dragon)by plying her with roses gifts romantic stuff, and then you get the damsel. But… remember it does not happen just once. Its a life long process…..So make sure the girl is worth it!!
August 23rd, 2005 at 8:33 am
wah piang. this is not a thread whey. this is a blog entry… but ok lah u guys want to talk…
today i’ll take a break.
Ghoul: I like my boy to get me tampons and sanitary pads. they’re expensive stuff … included in the maintenance fees.
August 23rd, 2005 at 5:32 pm
Minishorts: Weird, she asked me just a few days ago, if I would dare to buy her those, if she asked me to. A short lesson in brands and prices, too. ^_^ Oh oo… … … …:shock:
August 23rd, 2005 at 6:21 pm
Ghoul: if you manage to become a reasonable pro in tampon/pad brands and prices, you’ll be a guy in demand. at the very least your gf will love you for not being a neanderthal…”No way i’m going near that aisle!”
what to remember when buying gifts for a girl: know her type. practical, extravagant, anything fr. lovely lace etc., but it’s a rare woman who will turn down flowers and spa treatments.
August 23rd, 2005 at 11:33 pm
Sofia - I used to buy my Ex her tampons and pads sometimes. If the checkout chick ever gave me a strange look, I’d just claim I used the tampons as ear plugs, and the pads as inserts in my bicycle helmet to protect my brain more! Seemed to get even weirder look for some reason!
August 26th, 2005 at 6:18 pm
Dabido: ever watched sex & the city? (probably not, but still…) if yes, u’ll know that tampons are good for nosebleeds. cut into two and stick them up the nostrils.
just tell the cashier you’re prone to nosebleeds. better yet, buy a big box and keep one in your shirt pocket all day. then you’ll get the really weird looks.
May 29th, 2006 at 4:54 pm
May we exchange links with your site?