All about Andy
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I heard this story a while ago and I'm sharing it with you.
Updates: Since when did I say that this post was about Singapore and Malaysia? I was talking about Malaysians. Don't drag innocents into the picture.
Once upon a time, in a little village, there was a young boy who lived with his father and three siblings. Let's call him Andy (because a person by the name of Andy pissed off a very dear friend of mine).
Now Andy grew up in a not-so-good environment. This was what happened really. In the very beginning, there were seven of them in the family, and things were not too good you see. His parents would be quarreling most of the time, and usually, his mum would be complaining about how they could not make ends meet and etc, and etc.
Finally, Andy's mum couldn't take it anymore, and decided she would go. With that, she took flight with her youngest child, a boy by the name of Aloysius, and went off to greener pastures. Or rather, to make her own greener pasture. And mind you, she was pretty good at it. Maklumlah, satu anak saje, she could scrimp and save and she could give everything to the little kid, and that kid grew up pretty well, having the best of things that his loving mother could afford. As for her other kids, she decided that they were grown up enough to learn from their dad, so she left them with her stricken husband, who had now the burden of four children upon his shoulders.
The years passed, and Andy grew up bitter and sad. As he was the oldest child in the family, he had to help his father make ends meet. In the days he would go to school, and after school, he had to go and help the Ah Pek take care of the local kedai runcit. He could never afford himself extra taekwondo lessons, and there was hardly any time leftover for him to do the things he liked. And the rules at home were strict. It was always, 'You can't do this. You can't do that. You can't do this. We don't have enough. You have to take care of your brothers and sister.'
Andy would have his occasional visits to his mother, and he saw how she cleaned up well. He saw her house clean neat and tidy, and thought of the mess he had to go home to every day. He also saw that she had now more money to spend, now that it was only she and Aloysius. He saw his youngest brother reading a fresh and clean copy of The Lord of the Rings and remembered that he had to get to school extra early every day just to read a few pages from that non-borrow-out copy. He saw the collection of comic books that his brother had and remembered that he could never afford to purchase his own set…
And when occasionally his mother was generous and kind enough to remember that Andy was her son too, she would give him a copy of the book… he would go home elated, and with an angry stare at his tired father, usually spent, and sleeping in the living room sofa, he would run back to his bed, and lie down, looking at the ceiling, wondering about his future.
One day, Andy came home to see his father sitting in the living room, waiting for him to return. Now this was a strange occasion, because his dad was usually so busy, he only came home late at night after 9. He thought to himself, 'Now what? Things I can't get again?'
His dad, seemed to have read his mind, and went, 'I've got something to tell you son. It's about your education.'
He glared at his father and he said, 'I already know it. I can't go anywhere. I have to get out and work.'
'Your mother and I have discussed the issue…'
'Oh, so now you talk to her too?'
'Well, we're still your parents.'
'Tell me about it.'
His father heaved in a sigh at this, and then he continued, 'Your mother and I have decided that you'll go to live with her. She can afford you a higher education, and you will go to stay with her now.'
Needless to say, this was the greatest news Andy had ever heard in a very, very long time. He just couldn't wait. He packed up, and he said his goodbyes. Well, sure, he was sad that he was leaving his dad for a while… but he didn't really care. He knew that he was going to have a better life from then on.
And then he left.
Oh Andy grew up happy after that. His mother said that he needn't have to work anymore, and all he needed to do was concentrate on studying. And later, get himself a place at a good university, which he did. After all, the kid was pretty smart.
This time, he made the occasional visit to his father's place, and everytime he went, he would be the good son, trying to help his younger, not-so-fortunate siblings out in their work. Very rarely, he would remember that this was a bigger family, more mouths to feed, more square feet to clean, and when he stepped on an occasional fallen piece of torn paper, he would curse like a goddamned know-it-all, 'WHY DON'T YOU GUYS EVER SWEEP THE FLOOR? THIS IS YOUR HOUSE YOU KNOW?'
He forgot that this was a two-storey house, compared to the single floor, 2 bedroom apartment he had grown to call home.
He saw his sister, Athena, mugging for her papers just to get into the public college, and he went, 'Doesn't Dad ever save money for you to go to a private place? They have better teachers there you know.'
Usually, Athena would stare at him 'one-kind' one, and then, pretend he never said all that.
So he grew up, cleaned up, and he was happy. And when he finally grew up, he was damn thankful to the mother, for bringing him up well. More importantly he was glad, that he didn't have to spend his life 'wasting away', or so he called it, with his father. He was thankful that he was more knowledgeable, and he knew the luxury of 'luxury' and you know what? He was also thankful that he had a father, sometimes.
Andy's got this wonderful thing in him that likes to tell stories you know. In fact, he's so damn fond of his 'sad childhood and how his mother saved his life', he can't stop talking about his past. Everywhere he goes, he will tell tales of how his dad put sooo many restrictions on his life, and how at the end of it, his dad still can't afford him the things he deserved and wanted. And everywhere he goes, he never fails to heap praises of 'How great my mother is compared to my dad', you know, just so that people will praise his mother too.
But of course he still visits his dad, like a good son should. But it's an ongoing case, the dad-bashing, the mother praising, the division of 'this is better than that because she gives me more and he never helped me…'
Well.
Andy's almost 40 60 this year and he's still the half-baked potato who behaves like a backstabbing asshole everytime he talks about his dad.
There is a moral to this story. I'll be happy to know if you can tell me what it is I'm trying to say.
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Aug23
August 23, 2005 at 11:43 am
We tend to forget where we came from.
August 23, 2005 at 12:12 pm
Don’t be the bloody nut which forgot its own skin.
August 23, 2005 at 12:17 pm
malaysian living abroad bashing malaysia, it will continue as long as there is NEP.
August 23, 2005 at 12:18 pm
No matter how good your life can be, you can still turn out to be a royal asshole.
(closest depiction of an asshole I can find amongst your emoticons!)
August 23, 2005 at 12:23 pm
Typical freud, son in love with mom. son want to become the man of the house.
August 23, 2005 at 12:24 pm
Moral of the story : Never mind that your mum loved your brother more than you. You still don’t go around calling her a bitch, do you?
August 23, 2005 at 12:32 pm
good merdeka ad.
August 23, 2005 at 1:04 pm
tell you what you are trying to say?? i myself also trying to figure out what is it that you are trying to preach. sorry.
August 23, 2005 at 1:15 pm
Andy = Singapore.
August 23, 2005 at 1:31 pm
Moral of the Story: Don’t buy Andy Lau’s CDs ever again. That bastard.
August 23, 2005 at 1:51 pm
i know i know! It’s about ppl who should stfu and continue living in their own lala land!
August 23, 2005 at 2:11 pm
Hahaha I like the last one “Andy = Singapore”. Being a Singaporean myself, I found the situations objectively similar. Interesting… But I won’t go into the Singapore vs. Malaysia debate. I have only this to say: Andy’s behavior is just following the nature of evolution where ‘only the fittest survive’, but his constant mentioning of his story only makes him look pathetic. Is this all he has to tell about his life? His mom? I would be sad for him if I were mom…
August 23, 2005 at 2:21 pm
seraphe: not to worry. eliar swiftfire was wrong.
August 23, 2005 at 2:34 pm
Of course Andy is not Singapore, Andy’s MOM is Singapore. Andy is SingaporeAN. Anyway, that is what I take from the story.
Agree with Seraphe though, that the constant “dad”-bashing is what most people cannot tahan.
August 23, 2005 at 2:39 pm
Pitiful father.
August 23, 2005 at 2:49 pm
visitor: you also wrong lah.
knncb i think i’m going to change andy’s age.
August 23, 2005 at 3:24 pm
Andy is all of us?
August 23, 2005 at 3:49 pm
Being youngest or eldest, is da best?
What’s da prize?
August 23, 2005 at 3:50 pm
kenneth: not quite. for instance, neither you nor i are andy. andy is someone else altogether.
spiller: the prize is the knowledge that you were right.
August 23, 2005 at 3:57 pm
without his mother, andy won’t have the good life he has now. without his father, he wouldn’t know how good his life is now. a kid needs both parents! =)
August 23, 2005 at 3:57 pm
Life isn’t perfect. Remember the best and worst, learn from best so to improve it and learn from the worst so it will not repeat.
Keep them in your heart, not a story to many, but to a few.
Also, grow up Andy u dumb ass, still telling this story at 60, sure u got other better stories. Don’t u f***ing have other things better to do. He is not only a half-baked potato but a very very sad half-baked potato.
August 23, 2005 at 5:00 pm
i m a patriotic malaysian living in singapore.
why the hostility against singaporeans?
i must agree that the food here is not that great & there are some kiasu assholes BUT most singaporeans i know are good people.
don be swayed by all the negative reportings that both presses tend to churn out.
aku anak malaysia
August 23, 2005 at 5:07 pm
both andy’s parents’ fault! haha! they didn’t teach him properly. Didn’t preach him Confusious’s stuffs. Howcome ar, he didn’t study moral one meh? the wad Kasih Sayang lah, or the wad Hormat menghormati lah….neh, those in form 4 and form 5 ones. shit. i nearly failed my moral for spm.
August 23, 2005 at 5:25 pm
never forget the roots. Andy left, but no matter how proud he was of his new place (mum’s), he could never forget the place he grew up in. And he tries so hard to convince himself that life is actually better (praising his mum). He’s one sad man. Torn between his past and his future. Between what made him a man, and the man he is.
August 23, 2005 at 5:28 pm
Andy is bloody bastard cuz neva help her sister to get a better education.
August 23, 2005 at 6:19 pm
Bumiputera issue?
August 23, 2005 at 6:20 pm
Moral of the story: Don’t bite hand that feeds you.
Man, I suck at guesswork.
August 23, 2005 at 6:39 pm
Never forget who you are, where you’re from, Andy feeling macho and great bashing /back stabbing his dad that way…makes the people around him feel sick.GY Andy.
August 23, 2005 at 7:14 pm
moral #1: don’t get married and have kids if you’re not ready. and if you do decide to reproduce, one is enough so that if the marriage didn’t work out, the damage is minimized.
moral #2: don’t piss minishorts off or anger any of her friends otherwise she’ll use your name as one of the bad guys in her story
one question though. andy+mommy+daddy+3 siblings = 6, what happen to one more guy?
August 23, 2005 at 7:22 pm
Loved this unfolding thread…so many interesting thoughts and interpretations of the story. I think , despite Minishorts’ protestations, the Andy being a Malaysian turned S’porean citizen theory works pretty well, as much as the Overseas Malaysian theory.
Anyway, the story, whether taken literally or allegorically, (I think) is at heart a very Malaysian predicament – the divide between the privileged (well educated) and non-privileged, and the generational difference in terms of fortunes, viewpoints and lifestyle; also. As for the latter, Andy’s shift to the privileged position has changed him socially and economically such that he becomes psychologically separated from his father and other siblings, hence ‘forgets’ (possible denial or unconscious suppression) his former plight, seeing things only from the perspective of his privileged position – critical and ‘superior’. Just some of my thoughts. Any other thoughts on this?
PS. It will be good if aspiring writers out there consider this important theme and aspect of Malaysian life (short story, poem, novel, theatre and film)…
August 23, 2005 at 7:25 pm
andy is a malaysian who left for singapore, and think that he’s better than every malaysian because of that. however, being just an average achiever, he’s only a PR as the singapore government doesn’t want him as a citizen. or worse, he might not even be a PR… anyways, he’s treated like a 2nd class human-being by the singaporeans, which makes him miss his homeland once in a while. however, he still tries very hard to convince everyone, and even harder to convince himself, that he had made the right choice; that he’s better than all the malaysians; that singapore is way better than malaysia in every way possible. he does this by condemning malaysia, by criticising everything malaysian, by glorifying everything singaporean. in the end, he’s still a sad person who has no real place to call home. in a nutshell, he’s like a malaysian/singaporean who lost his passport on the causeway: stranded in between. =P
August 23, 2005 at 7:41 pm
Moral: Use condoms and pills so that you won’t have so many kids.
August 23, 2005 at 7:49 pm
Eva: might as well say “don’t have sex”. safer that way
August 23, 2005 at 9:41 pm
moral of story: don’t be a half-baked potato. Be a Potato Chip. preferably Pringles.
August 23, 2005 at 10:08 pm
Geez… Lay off the Singapore/Malaysian comments. We have enough politicians to take care of that already. I don’t care if Andy is Singaporean or Malaysian. Whatever his nationality, I will still mock him of his dad-bashin. Actually, I don’t pity his dad, but his other sibblings who stayed with dad. He won’t hurt his dad or disgust us more than hurt his sibblings’ feelings with his constant comparisons of the past.
August 23, 2005 at 10:11 pm
moral of the story: give me all your money.
August 23, 2005 at 10:25 pm
moral of the story: i have crazy visitors.
August 23, 2005 at 10:27 pm
Andy, that’s a heavy burden you are carrying with you. What had happened is over and done with. Stop being a sissy! Accept and embrace fully the pain or whatever sh*t that you had gone through, and let it go. It’s never too late, even at 60. Forgive your dad (not that I think your dad is wrong, but I guess you think it’s his fault), if you can. Otherwise, just forget about it.
August 23, 2005 at 11:47 pm
If its not about msia and sg, then maybe.. you know, andy kinda forgot that his dad was the one that opt for him to get a better education, better life.. i.e. follow his mom. And in the end, not only his son doesn’t realise that it was him that gave him the opportunity, but he backstabs him. a**hole.. =)
August 24, 2005 at 12:00 am
Sometimes people only tend to blame others for the misfortunes and pain that they have to go through. In Andy’s case I can’t say that he is wrong for making the choice, after all who won’t want a better life. However it is not fair for him in anyway to blame his father for all the things that befallen upon him. I believe that in any case his father doesn’t have a choice perhaps there is nothing much he can do about it. In any father’s perspective who won’t want their children to have a better life.
The thing is, Andy is blaming his father for everything. Instead he should be looking at the obvious circumstances that lead to his situation. Shouldn’t we ask ourselves first “Why?” before pointing fingers at others?
August 24, 2005 at 12:41 am
You are talking about ppl who left this country for a life overseas. They come back once in a while to visit, forgetting that their formative years of childhood was in this land, the land that fed them when the world around couldn’t give a damn whether they lived or died. Today, they have made it, and they say that their new found country of adoption is much much better than here. That may be true, but the back-stabbing and bad mouthing is totally unnecessary. For those of us who choose to remain here and make it work, THIS IS OUR LAND!
MERDEKA!!!
August 24, 2005 at 1:34 am
We dont have to pity the father or argue if the mother has made the right decision, the only person who needs our sympathy is Andy, he is the only one caught in between, the rest of his siblings belong to where they are, so if the parents go into conflict again, he is neither here nor there, he can go back to his dad and whine all the time about it, or he stays with his mom and be scorned.
Andy actually just turned 40, not almost.
August 24, 2005 at 3:11 am
Ouch. Long comments.
Anyway, Singapore is my birthplace (and that of the my lady love) and my fave shopping place, thus I don’t really have anything against me.
Singapore just turned to 40, thus my theory. Hah.
August 24, 2005 at 10:46 am
yo yj,
it’s people like you that create all the unhappiness between singapore & malaysia. why slam your own people that work in singapore?
August 24, 2005 at 1:42 pm
Moral of the story: mini wants lots of comments!
August 24, 2005 at 1:49 pm
coldfire: no no no … mini just gets a lot of comments wahaha.
August 24, 2005 at 2:45 pm
The moral of the story is you will never truly understand the intricate relationship between your parents especially troubled ones, so dont judge and take sides. Love and accept your parents for who they are, normally they are trying their best to give you a better life than the ones they had. God has given us parents to obey and honour.
If you were made of sterner stuff inside, you also do not need everything to be given to you on a platter for you to suceed in life. Having so called succeeded in life, and forgetting your roots result in a perspective that binds your heart in a tight grip, happiness still eludes you because you have missed the meaning of true love and have become a first class hyprocrite. True love will make the best of the circumstances you are in,, and as you do so God will step in to lift you above the circumstance… though the circumstances do not change. you will change inside.. you will be willing to forgive all things and move on..you will realise you are also human after all…so are the people around you, and there are no perfect human beings only God is perfect.
August 24, 2005 at 2:55 pm
LOL!
August 24, 2005 at 4:09 pm
Ok.. i think i got the massage here..
Mum – Singapore
Dad – Malaysia
Andy – a malaysian, who blame “Dad” can’t give enough opportunity for him to develop, went to ‘mum’ study there, growth there.. & bash about “Dad “..
U bxstxrd “Andy”.. betraying “Dad”.. be the PR there & live happily there.. stop bashing your “Dad”..
We feel pity with u…
HaPPy Merdeka DAY.. folks…
Cheer…
Proud to be a Malaysian…
August 24, 2005 at 4:26 pm
I’m waiting for the answer