I’m just curious
Look there're lots of things I have to do right now (I think most of you know WHY and or at least, can imagine what's going on with my life for now… or at least, you'll find out the reason next week.) But, that doesn't stop me from wanting to know more.
While I have my ideas and my opinions, I quite believe that you guys matter too, or maybe, whatever you guys tell me will really help me provide a more calculated response.
So today, here's another he/she question, which I need to know.
To him: What's the worst thing she's ever done to you?
To her: What's the worst thing he's ever done to you?
Now I'd like to limit the extent of this question to this: when you talk about 'him' or 'her', please give an example of a situation that happened during the course of a relationship. Don't talk about something that he/she did to you AFTER the relationship happened.
Oh but if you must guess, it's THAT time of the month again, and I am royally pissed.
August 25th, 2005 at 10:11 am
Worst thing : Flirting around.
Reason : She has more male-friends than I do!
August 25th, 2005 at 10:12 am
worst thing she’d ever done to me was to not laugh at my joke, at which point i am completely potong stim.
August 25th, 2005 at 10:18 am
Worse thing? I wore a green hat. It doesn’t get any worse.
August 25th, 2005 at 10:23 am
happened in a past relationship…snooped around my emails, read my letters, eavesdropped on my phone conversations, yelled at me to come home when i was having supper after a night out with a bunch of seniors….it was just so much drama that it’s funny looking back now!!
August 25th, 2005 at 10:50 am
Worse thing(s)? I’ll take my ex as an example.
1) Accused me of being ‘mean’ to his best friend (who is a girl) when she was the one going around telling people that I was a clingy, jealous, insecure bitch who was ruining my ex’s life. Never mind that when we first started dating, she dirty-danced with him in public in front of me and all of our friends. Never mind that she never talked to me even though I struck up a conversation with her a few times. Her favourite words were “Yes”, “No”, “Fine” and “Maybe” (even “Okay”). That’s all. And oh, being mean here equals telling his best friend to stay out of the relationship coz she was always telling him (and me) what to do.
2) Accused me of being ‘mean’ to his sister when all I had done was just try to befriend her - talk to her like I would to a buddy, get her some gifts for her going-away to Canada. His sister, on the other hand, never said one kind word back to me, accused me to stealing her brother away from her (coz he was spending more time with me than with her - naturally coz he was in Australia studying and so was I!) and the final straw came when she told me that I should put up with that.
3) Not only were all those things bad, what made it worse was when I stuck up for myself and I had the support of my friends, he accused me (and my friends) of bias, and not being supportive / understanding.
4) Going around telling people that I’m a nymphomaniac when it is he who doesn’t have a sex drive AT ALL.
I got rid of him about three months after the last major spat came about (his best friend again). My current boyfriend is such a darling compared to my ex.
August 25th, 2005 at 10:50 am
I think you might need to edit my post coz the numbering went all wooky. Sorwee.
August 25th, 2005 at 11:05 am
Worst thing? Lied to me
I hate ppl lying to me. Really hate them. It wasn’t any normal lie but it has got to do with this girl he had something for, for 2 years. She left for Aussie already but on the first week we got together, I saw a picture with his arms around her. Damn tight and damn intimate like that. IN HIS ROOM SUMMORE. I still get angry whenever I think about it but it’s no use now. Anyway, I told him that I’m fine with him keeping in touch with his ex(s) because I know to him, once a rship ends, it’s gone. No more looking back. But with that chiq, no rship ever started and the only thing that kept them apart was religion differences. There’ll always be that “I wonder what will happen if we were of the same religion” thought in him. You know guys rite? You’ll always think about those something you can’t get.
So after she left for Aussie, I asked him whether they were still keeping in touch because during our 1st 3 months together, she kept calling him almost every weekend. I was irritated but I didn’t voice it out. He even lied to her saying that he had to go for dinner but he was in fact supposed to send me home as he didn’t want her to know that we’re together yet.
A few months later, I asked whether they were still keeping in touch. And he said NO. It was a downright honest NO. I believed him until one day, I think God wanted poor me to know what he was doing. Somebody annonymous sent me a mail of a conversation between him and her. I was furious. I mean, there’s no need to lie to me that you’ve actually been in touch with her unless you’ve got something to hide right? I kept it from him until one day, we argued and I blurted out everything to him. We were almost gonna breakup then because he knows that I’ll never be able to trust someone who lied to me. Even if I do, it’s gonna be tough to trust him 100%.
The mail wasn’t a big thing. It was him lying to me because of the mail which pissed me off. If you can lie about this small thing, who knows, maybe it’ll eventually be a habit. Of course, he was prolly keeping it from me because he doesn’t want me to get upset. That I understand. But why the need to lie?
We got over it now. I told him that I really prefer that he stays out of touch with her. Because I know she’s the type who loves to make use of him. He told me stories bout her before we even got together. He respects it because he finally understood how I feel. He knows that I’m ok with his other ex(s) because I truly am and this one girl was a rare case because of how our rship started off. I felt like an indirect rebound.
Things are cool now with us. Our rship is stronger than ever. I’ve learnt to trust him but not 100% yet and he’s learnt to not keep things away from me even if it would make me fume because keeping it away from me would lead to even worse outcomes.
Guys, if you’re gonna get hammered both ways anyway, might as well pick the softest hammer.
Sorry MS, that was long =)
August 25th, 2005 at 12:21 pm
Wah, I’ve got examples coming out of my ears from my “beloved” ex… But, I’ll limit it to the one that hurt the most. Everything after that kinda numbed down.
ONE week after he asked me out, one of the unis held an open day, and I really wanted to go to check out the courses and campus (this was final year of high school, so I needed to make up my mind soon), and I found out he was going. I asked if I could come along and he told me that he needed his space (what moron needs space one week into a relationship?) and left with all his other friends, including the girl he eventually liked and left me to chase.
I tried to be understanding, and told him, “Ok, just bring me the flyers for the courses I want.”
And at the end of the day, when he still hadn’t called me to tell me whether he had gotten the stuff for me, I called him, and he told me that he didn’t have time to visit the booths I needed and thus no flyers or course materials. *I* had to call him to find out.
Thank goodness I went with a friend to the open day later on in the day, or I would never have gotten the uni stuff. And he didn’t even care. He didn’t care if I got into the wrong uni because of misinformation, because he was too rich to understand why education is important. He didn’t care if it hurt for me to hear the words “he needed space”, so soon.
So yeah, that is part of why I will flay him alive and firebomb his car when he returns from Singapore.
August 25th, 2005 at 12:28 pm
worst thing? cheated on me. by cheat i don’t mean those kiddy stuffs like flirting or going out with other guys. she slept@had sex with other guys behind my back (note it’s guys and not guy). then she had the nerve to deny it even though i had the proof in front of her. crazy biatch..
p/s- sorry for the language.
August 25th, 2005 at 12:54 pm
Making me wear a green hat then running around telling people Igot her pregnant and dumped her would have been the worst.
August 25th, 2005 at 12:59 pm
We had a fight in the car and i was forced out of the car and walk home….i walking all the main big roads hope that his car will seee me….but unfortuntely he never comes so i had to walk on foot all the way home….while walking home, my gold necklace was snatched by a motorbike….it is just a small gold chain but it was a gift from my mom….my neck got some scratches….when i reached home, he asked me where was my gold necklace….:cry::cry:
August 25th, 2005 at 2:08 pm
Ask me 2 deposit $2k in2 his a/c w/out question asked w/c i did…been 5 mths he still hasnt pay me back though i asked occasionally..used my credit card online..whenever i tried 2 talk 2 him we ended up in argument…anyone pls tell me how compromise i shd be?
August 25th, 2005 at 2:36 pm
jasmine: ditch him n get him out of ur life he is using u….
me i dun haf any stories to share coz i never dated…LOL but i got lotsa stories of my fren’s relationships, it wun b fair to tell coz i am not the one involved…
August 25th, 2005 at 3:52 pm
worst thing? well she tell me that i m everything for her n when i turn my back she also tell other male friend that same thing. curi makan when u r not around !
August 25th, 2005 at 4:01 pm
Before we started our relationship, there was this guy that courted her persistently for a while. But eventually she chooses me. This guy however did not back down even after he knew about my existence. Numerous times he tried to talk my girlfriend into dumping me for him. His constant intervention into our relationship was at times causing unnecessary arguments for both of us and my gf also told me she was beginning to get annoyed. Since this guy still doesn’t know how to back down I told my gf to make her stand and settle this once and for all. Be a bit harsh, stop replying his sms, phone calls and the likes of that just to make the message clear. She promise me that she would. I don’t know what they talked about, I wasn’t there. Generally I assumed that it was settled.
However a few weeks later my gf came to ask me weather she could go with the other guy. What the … I mean she just told me that he was freaking her out and she will deal with all this accordingly. I don’t mind her hanging out with other male friends but for this guy and all that has happened I expected her to stay away from him for awhile. Not only that, I also found out that my gf has been accepting gifts from that guy as well. Eventually we got into an argument and we resolved by her promising me that she won’t receive any of his gifts anymore and will minimize contacts with him. Unfortunately for me they both work in the same company.
So I thought case closed but NOooo. Some weeks down the road I found out once more that they were meeting up at office nearly every morning. Yes, only both of them. You tell me lar, if its only casual chit chat have to specially arranged to meet up every morning one meh and to top it off she is still accepting his gifts.
She broke her promise to me twice and she even makes a big hoo haa out of it when I confronted her. Saying stuff like I should trust her and all that… it really hurts me she does such a thing. Anyway we are still together still with the other guy trying his luck once in a while.
August 25th, 2005 at 4:39 pm
I hate it most when an issue is solved, and then a few weeks later, the bugger comes back to me saying, ‘you know the argument we had the other day? well, I told my sister and my mother and my father and my grandfather the story, and they think that you’re wrong in the case.’
like wtf?
OK… you guys talk… i’ll blog about this later.
August 25th, 2005 at 5:17 pm
I was in a 3 yr r/ship whereby my ex didnt have a car, so i lent him mine as he needed it for his job and he helped out a bit with the instalments towards the end of the HP. I then lent him $ as downpayment for his new car n was guarantor for the 9 year HP. I never gave it much thoughts at that time becoz we were like already planning to settle down etc but I now regret what I’ve done. We broke off soon after due to irreconciliable differences, after much persuasion, hes now slowly repaying me the $ he owes me but refuses to discharge me as the guarantor. Sigh. Moral of the story : dun lend guys any $ or sign up as guarantor. Pretend 2b poor la.
August 25th, 2005 at 5:30 pm
After we broke up, she signed up with a fake persona in MySpace.com and stalked me. I didn’t realized it until she stalked one of my friends on myspace to ask about me. I hated to suspect it was her, until I confirmed it when I found her login name saved within a cookie in my own PC.
Don’t ask how it happened, but it did…
August 25th, 2005 at 5:43 pm
she chose to dump me during my worst possible condition, when i quit lost my job and in financial problem. worse than when she dumped me while i was in university, after she had a month of fun with another guy. funny thing is, we are still together. how fucking ridiculous… god is punishing me.
August 25th, 2005 at 6:47 pm
Oh boy, did you ask me the wrong question (and believe me, I could write a book about my ex … and maybe I have, but it’s under a pen name).
Forgetting about WHAT she did AFTER we broke up … I’ll list a few things and I’ll let you chose the worst:
1) She tried to insure me for $1 million dollars, and then tried to suffercate me while I slept! (luckily I was strong enough to throw her off).
2) Eventually she got pregnant to some guy she was seeing behind my back. (And from the rumours, she may have had up to 3 affairs).
3) Once when I arrived home from work at 1 or 1:30 AM after working 16 hours straight (having done that for a few days in a row and was really tierd), she grab my testicles and crushed them to force me to have sex with her!
Those are probably the top three … take your choice (due to my religion I was only allowed to divorce her for reason 2 … which is what happened once I found out).
And people wonder why I wear a Teflon suit!!!!
She’s done plenty of worse things, and as I said, it makes a pretty unbelievable story.
And yeah, when we seperated, she thought it was really funny. She said she’d never loved me and was only with me because I waa a nice guy and she wanted the money. (If you knew her family background, you’d know why she is like that - one of her brothers was in jail for murder and another was in and out of jail for robbery and violent acts … andother brother in law was a drug dealer) … and of course a lot of that was hidden from me for the two years we were going out.
[But don't worry ... not after sympathy or anything ... just stating the facts. I'm okay with everything now. I'm still alive, as my mother keeps reminding me!]
August 25th, 2005 at 6:55 pm
Hmm, nobody mentions about being beaten or dragged on the (tarred) road by an arm or dress being torn by half where she has to sew it back before she goes home??
August 25th, 2005 at 8:37 pm
Hm. Royally pissed? I have an award for ya!
August 25th, 2005 at 9:27 pm
worst thing? pursuing me while still hanging on to his ex. Had the balls to persuade me to sleep with him while he was still banging his ex.
even better, dropped me like a hot cake after he had gotten what he wants and went after my good friend, WHILE STILL WITH HIS EX. BASTARD!!
August 25th, 2005 at 10:08 pm
the worst thing? can’t think of a thing eventhough the relationship ended. am i forgetful or what? well, lets just say that i’ve learned to forgive and forget. for god sake, they are the person you used to love or in love with. hmmm… maybe i am fortunate. (the next question is what’s the worst thing that you’ve done to him/her?)
August 25th, 2005 at 10:46 pm
MS: I got that as well with my ex’s sister and his best friend. Both are firm believers that if you have problems with your partner, the whole world should know.
Both blamed me like months after the last fight for an issue which I thought was solved - “do you know that he’s miserable because of this and that?” - and the last row was about how his sister went “it was her policy of keeping it between the two of them that got my brother into so many personal problems [with himself - she meant]” when it was clearly just his fault.
I became the very convenient scapegoat and it hit me then that if my ex was going to rely on his sister and best friend to fight his battles for him, there was no way in hell that he was going to stick up for me if someone should hurt me.
August 26th, 2005 at 12:12 am
I have the same sentiment as coldfire
“the next question is what’s the worst thing that you’ve done to him/her?”
Instead of thinking about his/her deficiency and he/she made your life miserable, maybe we can first start by looking at how we made his/her life miserable.
To answer that question, I guess my fault would be not patient enough with my ex. She couldn’t let go of her ex, and instead of being supportive, I sort of got turned off. It’s like, why are you still listening to him? Does his opinions still matter, now that you have decided he’s not suitable for you? We have both moved on, true, but maybe it could have been different. And maybe that’s also the worse thing that had happened to me, that she listened to him more than me (as current boyfriend).
Leave the past behind. Unless you broke off as friends (rarely), it’s best not to let it tie you down and determine ur paths in life.
August 26th, 2005 at 12:30 am
The worst an ex has ever done to me was he decided to stop calling.
No emails, no calls, never return my calls. I guess I was dumped and I still don’t know why.
August 26th, 2005 at 9:24 am
consider myself lucky but…
worst thing that ever came to me was when my partner gave me a cold treatment. Or totally ignoring me at all. Like, i was kept in the dark about what was she thinking… and I will keep wondering… and wondering… and wondering… and gradually develop into insomnia… and i will start to lose my mind…
it’s the most cruel thing that a girl could ever do to a man in a relationship…
August 26th, 2005 at 10:25 am
yeee i was going to write a long post to talk about this issue but i had to tell a story first… will discuss this at the weekend or next week, meanwhile you guys can still say the things that you need to say.
catharsis maybe…
there are some things that i’m angry and yet i can’t say in this blog either!! haha
August 26th, 2005 at 10:30 am
Sigh, I have one major thing I’m angry about too and I can’t say it in my blog either. Shucks! Coz the BF reads it and it has got to do with him. Bodoh
August 27th, 2005 at 2:18 pm
made me believe i was worth loving. =(
August 29th, 2005 at 12:35 am
like confessional page liao.. -_-”
August 29th, 2005 at 12:56 am
calling another girl’s name while having sex with me
September 1st, 2005 at 10:37 am
[...] For some reason that escapes my wits, this post suddenly became a ranting pillar for many of you. Mack, Elaine, FA, and Vincent came squealing to me at the returns in comments and I was blurred to the max as to what had instigated your furore. [...]
September 1st, 2005 at 6:06 pm
Being told that I’d never, ever be trusted, no matter what she said in the future, what she did, she’d be lying and that she’d never trust me.
That really kills me especially when we fight.
September 2nd, 2005 at 12:47 am
I haven’t had my periods for the last 16 years. What should I do?
September 3rd, 2005 at 12:35 am
worst thing he’s ever done to me:
Started a relationship with me (my first) just before i went abroad to study (it was my dream Uni, and i fought very hard to get into it), utilised me FULLY when he came to visit me a month before a very very important final exam, stuck around when i was having my exams, went back and dumped me immediately after that (before my results were out, and a week before my b’day).
I was devastated. No only because i lost him, but also turned out i FAILED my exam and i had to REPEAT A WHOLE DARN YEAR because of the shit he created. i almost killed myself. twice.
I was eventually diagnosed to be clinically depressed and i have to depend on medications and therapists to keep me sane.
Now i fear of stepping into the class with my juniors. I’m wasting my youth, my money (like £25K per year on fees alone). My parents weep for me every now and then because i was always on the top.
Now i’m just a bunch of mess.
September 3rd, 2005 at 3:01 pm
some guys r just total shit.. i’ve lost my will to love until my current bf turned out to be a total darling n my best friend n supporting me all the way..
abt my ex..
1. he CHEATED on me after a 2 year r’ship. 2 mths b4 we broke up. (i had to find out myself in which was worse..) he told me tht he’d be out of town with his family but went with another girl instead? how i know? - his best friend’s gf told me..
2. i stayed by him whn he had family n financial problems. (i wud hv ran away in my past r’ships) but all i got back was some crude words saying tht i never cared a single bit. i also end up in bruises whenever we fight over his problems n worse, i’m even threatened by his stupid damn life. (shud hv just let him died).
3. he’s got freaking major problems with my friends. every single old girl/guy friends seem to be the lover of my life to him. he gets jealous n angry for no freaking reasons whenever i’m out with them.. n again.. i’ll end up having a huge fight n me getting bruises again..
4. always borrowed money frm me tht until today is not returned (almost 2K)
5. i have only 1 father n i have no freaking idea why wudn’t he let me celebrate my dad’s b’day.. he thinks i’m goin out with another guy..
6. freaking bastard frm hell tht puts me in every dillema making me loose concentration in alot of stuff.. i’ve had the biggest failure in my life.. n i’ve lost 2 years of time n money..
i was basically hurt physically, emotionally, pshycologically n financially.. who can ever beat tht?
September 3rd, 2005 at 3:31 pm
well my ex bf took me out on valentines day to celebrate our third anniversary, and after i gave him my gift, he told me, ‘i don’t love you anymore. i bought you a gift but because i don’t care for you anymore i’m not going to give it to you. take care.’
after that he disappeared into oblivion.
so there.
September 5th, 2005 at 11:00 pm
My ex-bf was seeing some other gals behind my back. He asked for a breakup 1st and 2 days later, he called me up and told me all sorts of loving words and mushy stuff and ended with,’dear, do you think u can loan me around AUD3k?’
Anyway, zero cash cheated but did him a favour, by calling up his parents and told them he lost his uni fees in Burswood (it was the truth).
September 6th, 2005 at 7:04 pm
My ex: He hits me, slaps me, throw my hard made cookies on floor (btw, first time I’ve made and it was purposely for him). Possesive and in rage whenever I go out, even on study group. Force me into doing something that I dislike. Luckily, I manage to fleed from all this insane.
September 7th, 2005 at 1:23 pm
Received the his last e-mail wihtout “goodbye” and promised to contact me somewhere next week. Waited and waited for weeks, no contact. Then… an e-mail telling me that he’s gone forever. He’s gone after less than 48 hours of his last e-mail.:cry:
September 7th, 2005 at 6:39 pm
Hi,
Could you please have bigger font point size at your Blog or we might end having to buy a better reading glass.
Best Regards,
Roy
September 27th, 2005 at 2:05 pm
Hello minishorts,
Hey, ure really a go-get-it-gal! Can I be ur friend? I started a blog just very recently, all thanks to u…Ive no guts in telling ppl abt my life, and guess wat???!! U did get me going and started this whole blogging dingy! =)
October 7th, 2005 at 8:51 pm
The worst thing that he has ever done to me would be when he ignores my phone calls and text messages whenever we hada problem. There were also times taht he would hang up on me when I keep pestering him about some things regarding our problems. I used to call him immediately after he hangs up. He just stays quiet, not utteringa single word. I felt so disrespected! I cried everytime stuff like that happens. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I ended the relationship.
October 7th, 2005 at 9:44 pm
then he goes to take his shower.
i wait.
after his shower, he comes down. grinning very happy joy joy.
then he says, ‘eh i’m going out with tallboy to the cyber cafe?’
I stare at him. ‘HUH?’
‘don’t like this lah. tall boy is very lonely tonight.’
KNNCB… what the fuck. I’m also lonely ok. blardy hell.
October 9th, 2005 at 2:37 am
i know this guy. He seems very nice at first, so I summoned enough courage to go up and say hi to him while we were at a friend’s party. He seemed like such a charming person, and that night I was the happiest I’ve ever been in a long long time. We then ended up going out a couple more times after that, and I ended up at his place.
That night was so unforgettable as everything was just perfect…our conversation, him admiring me, me looking at his perfect smile and tanned body. Needless to say, one thing led to another and we ended up doing it on the couch. We went at it for a few hours, but felt like the blink of an eye. We only stopped after we were both too exhausted, and ended up lying next to each other. That same night, he gave me the sweetest compliment when I teasingly spread while chatting and he saw my underwear beneath my skirt.
The porblem is..now he’s telling me that his family cannot find out that we’re together since they’ll never approve of him going out with a she-man, and since they dunno about his sexuality too. Help me, what should I do??
October 20th, 2005 at 12:10 am
aunty mini.. have u changed my link ah..
October 24th, 2005 at 11:21 am
lessons learnt..
1) do not borrow money to a bf.. wadever reasons it is.. it is easy to borrow but takes freakin long enuf to get the return.. + fees (continuous call) n mental torture… to get the money back
2) guys who hit ladies r not worth it… dey’re retards…
3) “promises r made to b broken” dat’s the most freakin irresponsible sentence dat i’ve heard…
4) losers r those who normally doesn’t hv a job.. thinks dat he can just b rich in a day by slackin continuously and getting financial help frm the parents..
5) guys who doesn’t give ladies space or doesn’t trust the gf.. is a no no.. no matter how muc i tried tolerating.. i couldn’t take it with constant checking and questioning…
i don’t know wad is love.. somehow i couldn’t experience anything sweet but just disaster…
October 24th, 2005 at 11:27 am
n yea btw.. for those who’re living alone.. make sure that your keys is safe with u.. trust is important but i think to keep the spare keys with u is important too..
just in case dat u might breakup someday.. the ex won’t b an idiot of trying not to give back the keys..
well i think i’ve been abit insane… i’ve gone thru mental, physical and finance torture.. somehow it’s hard for me to trust a guy again..
i can sometimes b nice to guys.. or b
to them.. but most of the time.. i anti them.. i noe not all guys r bad but i just can’t help it..
October 24th, 2005 at 4:01 pm
Ever gotten 2 timed b4 by a girl?
yes i do and it sucks.To rub those friggin salt,fire,acid into my wounds, i caught them holding hand and kissing in the streets.
“He insisted that i should be with him” she said.even when the guy knew she had a bf(me) already.”i didnt say anything and i supposed he thought i agreed” she added.
bullshytes.
i went up to the guy, with all the hatred and anger i have, with those flashes of thoughts on how furtile these past couple of months must have been.how we spend those times together ended up in naught.I mustered my courage to see this stranger(asshole) straight into the eyes and said
“take good care of her.”
i dont want to pulish the whole story here,but trust me, when she aint yours,she aint.
my first gf, buckets of tears, and a hell of an emotional rollercoaster ride. its almost like a drama serial.But i’ve gotten over it already.shes aint meant to be mine i guess, though its been few years now, i have the bestest gf anyone could ever have currently, and her(my ex) now telling me that she regretted what she did and wanted a second chance.
after all these years.
peace.
November 19th, 2005 at 8:17 pm
what IS this? aunty minishorts. hum, ho.
the answer to both is NOTHING. unfortunately.