just minishorts.

For some obscure reason, I find taking the lift in my office block somewhat of an experience. You know, the once in a lifetime kind.

Everyday as I rot wait patiently in the lift to reach my office floor, some retard would inevitably 'brighten up' my day. Like the giggling randy dorks in my previous 'Dork Talk' post. Like that anal-retentive moron who stood there like a friggin' block of wood while some woman was struggling into the lift with 2 huge bags and the lift was like about to clamp down onto her leg.

But nothing beats this morning's MR.-I'M-SO-GORGEOUS-I-JUST-CAN'T-STOP-ADMIRING-MYSELF-IN-THE-MIRROR preening wanker.

See, I think it's great that the lifts here have mirror panels installed within it. Heck, they're even strategically placed at each 4 corners of the lifts so that people can share and share alike and not, you know, hog it for the entire duration of the lift descending.

Most people, however, would resort to primping themselves when they're ALONE in the lift. I mean, would you really wanna primp yourself with a whole lift full of audiences? You wouldn't would you? No siree! Not Mr.-I'm-SO-Gorgeous. He was happily preening in front of the mirror like some prancing peacock in a lift jam-packed with people without so much of a space for some roving hands to go meraba-raba.

Mind you, he wasn't just posing in front of the mirror. He actually bared his teeth in a grimace grin to check his teeth Gaston-style, as in Disney's Beauty & The Beast. (-_-") . Satisfied that his teeth were bright enough for a Colgate ad, he proceeded to 'style' his hair. Uh huh. Very the stylo the milo dude. Like hair that short needs styling. Any shorter he might as well have shaved and go bald.

At this point I half expected him to magically whip out a bottle of Davidoff Cool Water for Men next to reinforce his 'hunk' status in the lift but amazingly, he probably realised that he was already drowning in said cologne. Any more of it and he would have started dripping cologne onto the floor. (Dude probably had a BO problem that he assumes can be masked by pouring a bottle of cologne daily over himself.)

And then, and then yeah… he suddenly squinted into the mirror to stare at some imaginary bulbous wart…all whilst everyone in the lift were just staring at this perfectionist-self-idolizing-freak who (by then) was busy angling his head from side to side to ogle himself.

………………

WTF.

Dude, REAL MEN don't do that. EVER. Even us women don't preen ourselves in a mirror for so long, and in the office lift to boot. What the hell is wrong with you man?

I was thisclose to asking him if he was really such a charity-case that he couldn't afford a bloody mirror in his own house. 5 minutes later when he was STILL ogling himself I changed the question to whether he was auditioning to be a gigolo somebody's toyboy.

What a pity he was out of the lift before I could ask him. Tsk.