Lift Dorks. Again.
For some obscure reason, I find taking the lift in my office block somewhat of an experience. You know, the once in a lifetime kind.
Everyday as I rot wait patiently in the lift to reach my office floor, some retard would inevitably 'brighten up' my day. Like the giggling randy dorks in my previous 'Dork Talk' post. Like that anal-retentive moron who stood there like a friggin' block of wood while some woman was struggling into the lift with 2 huge bags and the lift was like about to clamp down onto her leg.
But nothing beats this morning's MR.-I'M-SO-GORGEOUS-I-JUST-CAN'T-STOP-ADMIRING-MYSELF-IN-THE-MIRROR preening wanker.
See, I think it's great that the lifts here have mirror panels installed within it. Heck, they're even strategically placed at each 4 corners of the lifts so that people can share and share alike and not, you know, hog it for the entire duration of the lift descending.
Most people, however, would resort to primping themselves when they're ALONE in the lift. I mean, would you really wanna primp yourself with a whole lift full of audiences? You wouldn't would you? No siree! Not Mr.-I'm-SO-Gorgeous. He was happily preening in front of the mirror like some prancing peacock in a lift jam-packed with people without so much of a space for some roving hands to go meraba-raba.
Mind you, he wasn't just posing in front of the mirror. He actually bared his teeth in a grimace grin to check his teeth Gaston-style, as in Disney's Beauty & The Beast. (-_-") . Satisfied that his teeth were bright enough for a Colgate ad, he proceeded to 'style' his hair. Uh huh. Very the stylo the milo dude. Like hair that short needs styling. Any shorter he might as well have shaved and go bald.
At this point I half expected him to magically whip out a bottle of Davidoff Cool Water for Men next to reinforce his 'hunk' status in the lift but amazingly, he probably realised that he was already drowning in said cologne. Any more of it and he would have started dripping cologne onto the floor. (Dude probably had a BO problem that he assumes can be masked by pouring a bottle of cologne daily over himself.)
And then, and then yeah… he suddenly squinted into the mirror to stare at some imaginary bulbous wart…all whilst everyone in the lift were just staring at this perfectionist-self-idolizing-freak who (by then) was busy angling his head from side to side to ogle himself.
………………
WTF.
Dude, REAL MEN don't do that. EVER. Even us women don't preen ourselves in a mirror for so long, and in the office lift to boot. What the hell is wrong with you man?
I was thisclose to asking him if he was really such a charity-case that he couldn't afford a bloody mirror in his own house. 5 minutes later when he was STILL ogling himself I changed the question to whether he was auditioning to be a gigolo somebody's toyboy.
What a pity he was out of the lift before I could ask him. Tsk.
October 11th, 2005 at 12:37 pm
Maybe should’ve just whispered at the guy, “urm..I don’t think that’s going to work with the hot chic in your office.”
October 11th, 2005 at 12:53 pm
Hahahah…well, men are getting more vain each day
October 11th, 2005 at 12:55 pm
imaging the in-lift cctv getting all his ‘mirror, mirror in the wall’ action. should be quite an interesting rewind.
October 11th, 2005 at 1:07 pm
METROSEXUAL!
October 11th, 2005 at 1:50 pm
Imagine if the lift was empty. He would have probably have been posing Mr.Universe poses already. I have nothing against well groomed men lah..just that it was soo freaking weird. Like, wanna primp go primp in the toilet lah…:roll:
October 11th, 2005 at 1:59 pm
a case of trying a little too hard to impress.
it’s either that or he’s gay.
you’re an auntie already?
sigh, it’s been quite sometime since i came here.
October 11th, 2005 at 2:41 pm
Ahahahahhaa!! XD
That guy is just love himself too much…
I think if he look at the mirror long enough, he would end up wanking off.
October 11th, 2005 at 3:18 pm
Can’t give enough attention to himself…
Imagine what kind of attention he’ll give to his girl/boy/whatever… “No, honey, I don’t have time for you, I need to spend a little more time in front of the mirror.”
I wonder if he does it everytime he sees his own reflection on some kind of mirror.
I can imagining him doing it to the toilet bowl just before he sits down…
October 11th, 2005 at 4:20 pm
SaDdNesZ.jc : why the hell would you want to imagine him doing it to the toilet bowl???
October 11th, 2005 at 4:33 pm
erm…
*No I don’t do such a thing…*
(Runs for cover)
October 11th, 2005 at 9:14 pm
Urgh, Women! First they accuse us of not taking care of our appearance, and when we guys actually make the effort to take an interest in how we look, we are accused of being ‘Mr-I’m-So-Gorgeous-Can’t-Stop-Admiring-Myself-In-
The-Mirror.
Please don’t berate others when women are 1,000,000X guilty of doing the same. So before you accuse guys of being so into themselves, please scrape off your own ‘pontianak-looking foundation’ that took you 2 hours to apply before you decide to criticize anyone!
October 11th, 2005 at 9:14 pm
***Meanwhile, in a lift somewhere in KL***
[Man in lift singing to himself while preening in front or mirror]
I feel pretty,
Oh so pretty,
I feel pretty and wity and gay …
*ahem* I mean straight! *cough cough*
Damn! I try again from where I left off.
Look at the pretty girl in the mirror there…
DAMN!
*cough* I mean handsome man in the mirror!
Oh, this is too much! Too much darlings! I give up!
[Man picks up his hand bag and minces out of the lift!]
Now don’t we just love him even more?
October 11th, 2005 at 10:34 pm
sounds like you had bad day! he must be gay. and proud
October 11th, 2005 at 11:41 pm
Five minutes?! You spent five minutes in a lift?! Know whachu mean. I once worked in an ancient building with lifts like that.
October 12th, 2005 at 12:18 am
Fortunately he still has all his teeth…
October 12th, 2005 at 7:47 am
Maybe he got the hots for you:razz:
October 12th, 2005 at 9:12 am
I think it is ok to look into the mirror at the lift especially when one is late and is goign for an important meeting. He is only trying to make himself look more presentable. Is that any harm in that? Dont tell me you havent done it before. In life, let us accept others for who they are……
October 12th, 2005 at 9:36 am
erm.. maybe.. he didnt realise there were people in the life? ahahaha
October 12th, 2005 at 10:03 am
guys guys… when you spent five minutes in a lift, you got to find some sort of entertainment to pass the time..
In his case, it is his own reflection. XD
October 12th, 2005 at 10:27 am
just be thankful he was not some pervert who hit the ’stop’ button and had his way with you…
eeeeeyeeeeeeeeeer!
October 12th, 2005 at 1:39 pm
The Other Kenny is right … he could have dropped his pants and sung Aida’s Aria from Act I … but he didn’t, he found something better to do.
Probably something he liked better!
If anything, Elaine should be p****ed off that he was too busy hitting on himself than to notice her! What a sicko!!!!
*I feel pretty,
Oh so pretty*
October 12th, 2005 at 1:52 pm
Imran hunny: try to develop a sense of humour or else leech on another blog. if you’re the person that my friend elaine encountered, then allow me to apologize on her behalf. my advice also is to please, jangan terasa.
We’re all sharing points of views here, but elaine’s piece of mind is her own. As much as she might offend some parties with this post of hers, I urge you to remember that you’re also responsible for whatever you’ve posted here.
sandy: same goes, nothing wrong in elaine getting all edgy. now puhleese make yourself a cuppa tea and sip on it.
October 12th, 2005 at 4:05 pm
Aw c’mon mini, it needs to be said anyway…
BTW, studies show that lifts with mirrors get fewer complaints about long wait times than lifts without. Thank you for your attention.
October 12th, 2005 at 4:11 pm
lionel: YOU GROOM YOURSELF IN LIFT MIRRORS!! WOW WEE!!
October 13th, 2005 at 7:55 pm
And I to-ho-tally agree that the weirdo’s a weirdo, if that’s what Elaine wants.
October 18th, 2005 at 6:13 pm
i wonder who is the guy? quick, go take his pix so that I could tell him personally whether he ought to be checking himself out more often!