Pap
Minishorts says: Today's special star is the very sporadic Gerrard of MakanRojak@blogspot. Gerard is old school from the stonehenge era, and has just recently graduated with a very prestigious medical degree. Currently serving his MO-ship in Singapore, Gerrard is my official F.O.C. lodging provider should I manage to get over to Singapore for the Virtual Insanity trip. In this post, Gerrard talks about Pap Smears.
After wallowing in the slime, grime, and cretin infested bowels of the local blogosphere since the days when fig leaves were the first choice lingerie to conceal genitals, I've finally been granted the chance to be in the blogging limelight clinking champagne glasses and exchanging inane chatter like the different textures of belly button lint in South American geriatrics with the higher echelons of the blogosphere right here in minishorts.net.
With such a platform to spew forth my best verbal diarrhea, minishorts decided to rain on my party by requesting that I blog about a subject so dreaded that even Mike Tyson's testicles would reascend from the scrotum and relocate to their embryological position at the mere mention of it. Yes, I'm supposed to talk about…..the pap smear. Oh, there it goes, I feel my balls reascending…..oohh.
But not obliging your blogging host is like offering your vegetarian friend a nice hot bowl of bak kut teh sprinkled with dried pork floss, shoving it down his throat and plugging his anus with a rubber bung just to make sure it stays inside long enough - it's just not right. So I shall oblige, but I'll just have you all know that I had to resit my gynaecology paper in medical school, and that brings back extremely haunting memories. Oh, there goes my balls again…ooohhh.
So as requested, I present to you my extremely unreliable guide to pap smears/cervical cancers in 5 dot points…
And that ends my 5 dot point unreliable guide to pap smears/cervical cancers. I'm confident of the facts but for further details, please lift that finger and google away, or lift that butt and visit your local doctor, who hopefully passed his gynaecology paper on the first try with flying rainbow colours.
Guess my time in the limelight has run out. Boo hoo. I think I deserve a damn lolly.
October 14th, 2005 at 11:24 am
gee, then my IQ must be one of those dim sum dumplings because i didnt know cervical cancer is caused by virus.. thought was a typical cell mutation…:P
October 14th, 2005 at 11:34 am
*hands Gerrard a huge packet of chupa chups* that’s enough lollies to last you for some time, I think.
Hilarious lah you.. but now, I’ll always remember these stuff ’bout cervical cancer. heehee
October 14th, 2005 at 11:37 am
Jayelle, i think my IQ must be that of a fish ball, because I can’t figure out the IQ of a half-eaten char siew pau? Maybe yip chee mei dai pau has a higher IQ?
Erm, more seriously, the virus causes cell changes from precancerous to cancerous, and cervical cancer is the 2nd most common cancer for women, 1st being breast cancer.
Women who smoke cigarettes are twice as likely to develop cervical cancer.
October 14th, 2005 at 11:44 am
WAAhhh… then my IQ is like half of microorganism’s brain (like they have one anyway)? ! I don’t even know a hoot about cervical cancer. O_O
You guys should stop talking about those scientific mumbo jumbo… makes me feel stupid
October 14th, 2005 at 11:46 am
kenny: reading about them makes you smarter, duh.
October 14th, 2005 at 12:04 pm
But this is kinda pointless information for a guy lor… I mean even if I know about pap smear, I can’t go pap smear my gf right? (If I have a gf to start with)
But at least I’ve learn something, eventhough I will forget about them later..
October 14th, 2005 at 12:36 pm
Oh heck, and I thot “PAP smear” meant smearing the reputation of the P.A.P. gahmen of kiasuland. I thot you wuz going to teach how to smear them kau kau and then I read till the end of the article and found no mention of the Lee guy. So I guess this one is really a scientific article, huh?
October 14th, 2005 at 1:32 pm
Viewtru : Which Lee guy? The Jedi Master or the Padawan learner?
October 14th, 2005 at 2:00 pm
I think he’s talking about some politician from the Singapore:shock:
October 14th, 2005 at 2:03 pm
Huh?!
October 14th, 2005 at 2:04 pm
vince: i think both the Jedi and the Padawan also apply leh.
kenny: what you mean pointless information? i wouldn’t find information about prostate cancer useless to me either, even though i’m not a guy.
October 14th, 2005 at 2:08 pm
kenny ‘o wise one :
Oh. I didn’t know that. I thought he was talking about that Obi Lee Kenobi guy. Thank you for enlightening me.
October 14th, 2005 at 2:19 pm
minishorts : Prostate cancer??!! damn, I better start learning about these things….
Vincent : Why do I feel like that its a sacarsm?? Don’t answer it please..
October 14th, 2005 at 2:41 pm
does this mean someone should blog about Prostate cancer and Per Rectum examination for the benefit of male readers?
October 14th, 2005 at 2:44 pm
Vincent: The Lee guy? What Minishorts said. But that one is academic now, totally unrelated. Today’s lesson is about how to open vagina, and put in brush and scrape the inner walls. Remember, Gerrard said “brush”, not your “brush handle”. Muahahaha!
October 14th, 2005 at 3:13 pm
thanks for the lesson Gerrard! Woo hooo!!
eeks, dread the day when I haf to go do the Pap smear test.. can we not do it ourselves ??
October 14th, 2005 at 3:22 pm
How does it look like under the scope, doc?
*i havtha ask…
October 14th, 2005 at 11:10 pm
I knew all that except this bit:
“Even someone with the IQ of a half eaten char siew pau can now figure out that cervical cancer is mostly caused by a virus, the HPV (human papilloma virus).”
And I have an IQ in the top 1% … but like Gerrard said, they “…CAN NOW FIGURE OUT…” He didn’t say everyoen knows it. So everyone, stop getting upset that you don’t know it … because you could have worked it out … and you know what, we all did, because we worked it out by reading what Gerrard said! (See, we’re all genius now)
I found it really good Gerrard. I’d like to hear an answer to mob1900’s question.
What are some good medical books to read on the subject that won’t give us all brain hemorages in our cerebral cortexes??? (Something to make our neurons party and stop them being too sulci) Bwahahaha I made Doctor joke .. Sulci rhymes with sulky … bwahahahaa!
Oh gees, I’d make a lame Patch Adams!
October 15th, 2005 at 5:24 am
Just a note- Virgins DO get cervical cancer although it is rare. Most doctors won’t do pap smears for virgins because they’re afraid of tearing the woman’s hymen, but they’ll do it if you insist. My friend got her 1st pap smear when she was a virgin.
Where did I get this info? A pamphlet I picked up at the doctor’s office. Also through a lecture in Cell Biology where I’m studying (Canada).
“Every woman should have an annual Pap examination when she becomes sexually active, or turns 18 years old- whichever comes first.” Dr V.M Shashidar, Senior Lecture in Pathology, Fiji School of Medicine. Check out his slides if you want: http://www.fsm.ac.fj/pws/Resources/Lectures/PAP%20Smear.ppt#2
It’s pretty interesting.
October 15th, 2005 at 7:13 am
cervical cancer is not just limited to women who’ve had intercourse.
and for the guys, in most cases if they get cervical cancer, it’s because your dicks infected them with HPV! and condoms don’t effectively protect you from picking up HPV from those chow-kitt mammis. FYI
October 15th, 2005 at 7:43 am
Whoever wanna find out more ’bout cervical cancer… go google lah…
Dabido: Medical books are dry and boring, keep far far away from them unless you have insomnia.
October 15th, 2005 at 3:10 pm
dabido: not sure how to describe what it looks like, and i bet most girls dont know how their own cervix looks like too! go google it! hehe!
blazecat: youre right, virgins do get cervical cancer but its so damn rare, it wouldnt be on top of my differentials. and perhaps its recommended that 18 y/o girls should have their first pap smear because people do lie about their virginity. =)
and thanks everyone for your comments. =)
October 16th, 2005 at 12:34 am
MSguests in this case is Gerrard right? *blur* and if u get 18 yr olds to go for pap smear..their mama’s gonna whack you for tearing their hymen ler..
October 17th, 2005 at 11:36 am
Since on the topic of cervical cancer, all women shld rejoice coz Merck had came up with a vaccine that prevents cervical cancer. Believe it or not, it’s supposed to be 100% foolproof.
But there are like tons of HPV around, the vaccine just protects against the 2~3 main kind of HPV known to cause cancer. So 100%? I reserve my comments.
The vaccine shld be made available to the masses at the end of the year. 3 shots for your protection. Prevention is always better than cure.
October 17th, 2005 at 10:05 pm
YP - I’ve read some medical books before. Some are okay. I might include some mention of them when I later get to blogging about ‘The Day I Became a NeuroSurgeon’
(which I only mention in passing and not as an attempt to ho my blog, becasue Minishorts will rip my legs off and hit me with the soggy bits if I dare pimp my blog before time!)
October 17th, 2005 at 10:13 pm
Oh … and why everyone reply to the question of how it looks to me … mob1900 asked it. I also thought he was talking about what it looked like on the SLIDE UNDER THE MICROSCOPE.
Mob1990 said - “How does it look like under the scope, doc?”
You guys make me sound like a dirty old man more than I actually am!
So, I guess I need to check out ‘Pap Scraping under microscope’ to find a picture of normal cells and maybe adnormal ones.
My youngest brother is the medical authority in the family (I’ve always been squemish … which is why I prefered a description rather than a picture! Don’t want to see the cervix. I might faint if I see a womans naughty bits! Just wanted to see cells under a microscope! Waaah!)
October 17th, 2005 at 10:15 pm
I can’t find any “Pap Scrapings under the microscope” when I google for them. Maybe you need a text book. I’ll have to wait till I go to the University Library … or the Library in the city if they have a medical section! Waah!
November 24th, 2005 at 11:17 am
[...] A lolly and a second hand tickle-me-elmo toy for Claire for rescuing me from the bowels of the malaysian blogosphere yet again and giving me the opportunity to showcase my pseudo-talent for spewing rubbish to the general public. My last guest post on cervical cancers/pap smears was unyielding; meaning there was not a single request for me to perform a pap smear. Boo hoo. Boo hoo. And one more for the hattrick, boo hoo. [...]
March 25th, 2007 at 8:59 pm
dick sucking hoe…
This site is about dick sucking hoe….