New Asian Bond girl
Oct 20, 2005 in General
A country mourns, and our spheric community responds in kind. Before you scroll down, let us have a moment of silence to remember our First Lady. Datin Seri Endon was a lady of great stature and an inspiring figure, and she shall be forever remembered as a fine example of what it means to be 'the woman behind a great man'. Al-Fatihah.
Hi, it’s me Viewtru again, the Social Commentary guy. FireAngel is currently not available because she is having some secret negotiations. It is top secret stuff that only a few people on earth are allowed to know. If I tell you, I will have to kill you. FireAngel is currently negotiating to become the next Bond girl. Hey, I'm only joking…I don't have to kill you.
FireAngel? A Bond girl?
Shocker, huh?
Well, not really. She always had the notion that she wanted to be the next Bond girl. Those of you who saw the famous ‘Klingon camera pic’ on June 27 will know what I mean.
(For those of you who did not see that famous pic and don’t know what I am talking about, never mind. It’s not important. Heheheh!)
Shit, I am losing focus here.
Back to the James Bond topic. The producers are getting ready for the new movie starring the new Bond actor Daniel Craig. Frankly, he doesn’t look like much, but that’s not the point.
The new Bond girl….now, that’s something else.
So dudes and dudettes, allow me to introduce the all-new Bond girl!
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Jeng…jeng…jeng…
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Yeah, FireAngel is gonna make a new Bond movie!
The next one has already been scheduled to be called ‘Casino Royale’. FireAngel didn’t agree with the title. She wanted to call it ‘Cussing you Royally’. The wimpy producers were horrified at the idea. But they agreed to negotiate on it.
Oh, they have also agreed to write a totally new kickass script for her.
She’ll come into the movie and say, “My name is Angel…FireAngel.”
In the new movie, she gets to be the heroine who nails the villain’s ass to the wall and thus save our pathetic world from being blown up to bits in a thermonuclear meltdown. Phew! Be eternally grateful for that, you miserable pieces of shit.
What about James Bond? Well, his new role is to be the sidekick. His job is to look cute while he hands her the gun. He also gets to order pizza for her. With extra onions on top.
Is there a sex scene? You bet. They are writing a steamy carpet munching scene for the new James Bond. Oh, get this; his contract says that he is not allowed to spit out any hairs. Who will he be eating? Guess mah…nabei…you think I’m allowed to tell you meh?
Hold on. This news just came in. The movie already has a new title!
Guess what it is.
“The World Is Not In Buff”?
No!
“Tomorrow Never Dries”?
No!
“Fry Another Day”?
No!
“The Spy who love wantan mee”?
Not even close!
Okay…those of you who guessed it correctly will get a big hug from FireAngel. Now go earn your hug!