just minishorts.

Vincent says: Rijac is today's guest blogger. Relatively unknown, he began blogging as an experiment in writing…an experiment that still continues till today. Today, this self-invited nut talks about, err….uninvited nuts.

Simply amazing!

What began as an impulsive decision to write a comment when Minishorts invited applications for guest bloggers, has turned into the nonsense you are about to read today. The Internet is a strange place.

I am rijac, and being relatively new to the world of blogging, I am not used to blogging for an audience. But I will give it a shot anyway. Today I want to blog about my in-laws, because when they come to visit, its like experiencing a hostile takeover by self-invited nuts!

Sure, everyone would have in-law stories. But you see, my in-laws are special. They are highly skilled artists. They have perfected the art of doing precisely what they are asked not to do.

Let me give you an example.

Several months ago, while we were on a trip back to visit family in Kuala Lumpur, my Father-in-law suggested that he might purchase a tent for my son (who is 3.5 years old). I thought it was pointless, since I couldn't think of any place near where I live that is suitable for a 3.5 year old to go camping.

So, my simple and clear instructions to my Father-in-law was "please do not buy a tent."

A few weeks ago, when they came to visit, they presented my son with a tent. Not just any tent, a huge, four-man tent, to be exact. I was upset, off course.

WTF!

I mean, how hard can it be to understand my simple instructions. This was not the first time. Among other junk, this 3.5 year old, 3.5 foot tall kid has a 6 foot long fishing rod, 2 adult-sized badminton racquets, a pair of digital binoculars and two rather large kites, all of which I instructed them not to buy.

And if you didn't already know, you simply cannot give a 3.5 year old a tent and not expect him to pester you to put it up. So up until 2 weeks ago, I actually had a four-man tent pitched in my living-room. Don't believe it? Take a look. Sorry for the lousy resolution. If only I can convince my in-laws to buy my son a nice, new 8 megapixel digital SLR camera, instead of the junk they buy for him now….

View from the inside:

If any of you think you might want to get married in the future, here is my advice:

Don't!

Trust me on this one. I know what I am talking about.

However, if you insist on gettting married, I strongly suggest that you interview your potential in-laws the first chance you get. Make sure you include a simple, 'obedience test' as part of the interview session. You might call them up and say "please don't bring any fruits tomorrow night", or something like that. And if the next day they turn up with apples, or bananas, or even nuts for that matter, run for your life!

As for me, I have found the perfect solution to my in-law problem.

I was driving home one evening recently, and decided to detour through one of the wonderful reservoir parks near my neighbourhood. I parked my car along the road shoulder to take in one of the most breathtaking sunsets I have seen in a long time. I managed to get a picture on my phonecam.

It was then, as I sat there staring out across the water, contemplating the state of my life, that it struck me. Its simply brilliant, really.

The next time my in-laws come to visit, I will drive them to that very spot in front of the reservoir. I will then pitch the four-man tent there. It would be a real adventure for them. You know, people pay thousands of dollars for this 'eco-tourism' sh*t. I offer it to them for free.

Imagine the fantastic view of the sunset they would have every evening. For meals, they could use the nice fishing rod they bought, and catch fresh grass carp and catfish. I will even spring for one of those mini-gas stoves and they can cook their own meals.

In the evenings before dinner, for recreation, they can play badminton. If they get sick of that, they can sit back, pull out those nifty binoculars and watch the golfers teeing off on the opposite side of the reservoir.

And if they get really bored, I have one last suggestion to help them pass the time.

They can just go and fly kites.