Dreamy Blues
Filed under General
Vincent says: Liz is a 17 year old kid who is happily blogging even though other kids her age are busy studying for SPM next week. She blogs because she loves writing and it allows her to have fun, experiment with different styles and meet interesting people (like me). Today, she blogs about her dreams as a typical 17 year old girl would..
I never expected my so-called application to guest blog for minishorts to get through. But, since I've been given the opportunity to do so … I hope that I don't massively disappoint her lady minishorts with my ramblings. 
Being amidst all these SPM blues, with young and talented bloggers from all over blogging about being scared out of their wits about it, has got me thinking … No, I wasn't thinking about SPM. 
I was thinking about our screwed up education system. I was thinking about the one single mistake I made in Form 3 that made me suffer for the past two years.
Yup, lovely and silly me allowed my own ass to be kicked into the depths of hell a.k.a the Science stream. *cues X-files theme song here*
And trust me, if you're somebody as lazy and 'artistically-inclined' as me, you'd understand how I felt. I felt like a cow venturing into the land of monkeys, where everybody ate bananas while I ate grass.
I did notice, however, that most of the students in science stream suffered a somewhat similiar fate as I did – they were there not because they wanted to, but because their parents asked them to. In fact, my partner at school is an extremely talented artist…but she hides her drawings, because her parents want her to be a doctor, not an artist.
And she doesn't fight back. She succumbs to their pressures to study Biology, and secretly continues to paint in the middle of the night, away from their probbing eyes.
I'm not saying that I'm a strong person myself. But let me tell you a story of something that happened to me just three years ago, that changed my outlook on life…..
I was fourteen then…young, eager and naive. And somehow, still believed that love at first sight was real. Because I was in love with a guy named Ezra, who was the most good looking member of the opposite sex I ever laid my eyes upon…and the first time he smiled at me, I felt my heart melt.
(Too mushy for your liking? Hey, I'm seventeen! Whaddaya expect? )
But like in all fairytale love stories, there were barriers that stood in between the way of my Charming Prince and I. One of my best friends was in love with him as well. Because I was young, naive and really thought highly of my friend, I kept the fact that I liked Ezra as well to myself, not wanting to hurt her feelings.
And this is where it gets funny…
My best friend asked me to get Ezra's phone number for her. And being the dumb and retarded kid that I was – I did. I wanted to SMS him as well, but I was shy and afraid of being rejected. 
And you can guess what happened next. Ezra and that particular pal of mine have been dating for the past three years.
Moral of the story: Do NOT practise the whole self-sacrificial thing. And if you're going through the same scenario as I did, give your friend the wrong number, and bloody SMS the chick/dude with your own.
Nah, actually, the experience itself was painful, but I learnt a lot from it. First, I learnt to never keep my dreams to myself. And to reach for my dreams, no matter what obstacles lie in my way.
I want to be a journalist. When I first told my parents of it, they were taken aback, but they gradually accepted the fact that I WAS NOT GOING TO BE AN ACCOUNTANT. Or marry a rich man and be a siu lai lai. (Of course, if the latter does happen…good for me lah!)
Which is why I was so pissed when my school refused to let me transfer to the Arts. And for some time, I was even somewhat pissed at my artist-wannabe partner in school, for being so scared of pursuing her dreams. But later, I realized that it was her life, not mine.
All of us, I believe, want to achieve something great in life. Something good. Well, until greed and fear came into the picture and thwarted our priorities, I guess.
And this whole SPM thing is really driving me me to the point of going nutty. O_o Will all my fellow candidates just CHILL? If you've studied for it, you'll DEFINITELY do well. Unlike me.
And please, allow me to continue living in my lovely land of self-denial and stop telling me how I'll become a toilet cleaner if I did badly in it. There's no point, really, because I'll merely flash you this face:
Yup, apparently, I'm still feeling very 'halloween'-ish. May that image haunt your nightmares.
Back to my topic, my biggest fear in life is not failing my SPM. In fact, despite the HUGE lack of studying on my part, I feel as ready as I'll ever be to face it, and I'll be happy to close that chapter of my life.
My biggest fear in life, is not knowing what it'll feel like to be the person the little kid in me has always dreamed of becoming. What's yours?
And now, please excuse me while I make another lame attempt at yet another romance story to restore the gap in my heart, caused by my nonexistential love life.
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Nov05
November 5, 2005 at 9:49 pm
oO hot chick
November 5, 2005 at 9:50 pm
Go go!! pursue your dream! don’t give a hoot to whatever your parents tell you to do cause typical chinese parents wants their children to grow up as accountants, lawyers, engineers, doctors. They don’t really care if you like it or not. They merely want you get a job with lots lots of money!!
I shamely followed my parent’s advice and now I’m left working on a job that i hate. -__-
November 5, 2005 at 10:38 pm
err, support liz! wakakaka.
dreams are insubstantial random triggers in the brain that usually occur at times of unconciousness. that usually explains why most of them are quite insanely out of reach. the point is to prove that being insane makes them within reach. and who said sane people were better off?
November 6, 2005 at 12:09 am
One day, when you’re in college, you’ll look back at your SPM and laugh. The kind of laugh usually reserved for incidents involving fluids and personal regions.
Really, you’ll be fine.
November 6, 2005 at 12:21 am
*cough*
Ezra? That’s the name of my first electric guitar, for God’s sake! Err, you weren’t in love with me then, were you? Haha.
Oh, and Liz? You may flash that pose in front of me at any time, heh.
Oh damn, I sound like a horny old guy in this post.
November 6, 2005 at 12:40 am
Wan Zafran – I am a horny old guy.
Liz – Don’t be too harsh on your friend. Though I agree you are 100% correct in your comment that SPM is pretty much meaningless and living your parents dream is a bad idea.
I’ve lived a similar life to your friend. When I was at school, I was the A Grade student whom teachers thought should become a Doctor or Lawyer, and as such I was NOT ALLOWED to pursue art. (And when you are young, most of the time it is a matter of NOT BEING ALLOWED).
I paid the price of neglecting my art and doing what I was told. But I also paid the price for doing well, as my father threw me out of home and onto the streets at 19 years of age for successfully completing my first year of University when my father told me I was going to fail. [His basic arguement was that my elder brother, who was his favourite, did bad at University, therefore I was going to. My father always said I'd be a failure ... bwahahaha!]
ANYWAY, your friend may have good reasons to fear standing up to her parents. [Even if they are fears which only exist in her head].
You are lucky that you have a goal that you will not waver from and that you can stand up to your parents. Not everyone was born with the same tenacity.
People who follow their parents dreams do good, but people who follow their own dreams do better. Lucky is the person who’s dreams are the same as their parents.
Best of luck with the SPM Liz. Hope you become a journalist like you hope to become. I guess we’ll hear about it in a few years if you are still blogging around this neighbourhood!
November 6, 2005 at 12:58 am
Hey Liz..same as you, I took the same road as you do..and i’m..well, sorta regreting it but oh wells, theres always college…:mrgreen:
November 6, 2005 at 1:33 am
Suanie: Thanks.
The other kenny: hehe, yea … >.really looking forward to college … hehe.
Wan Zafran: Haha! Well, maybe.
Your guitar’s named Ezra? O.o OUch, what a coincidence …
Dabido: hehe, yup. If I really do make it, I’ll definitely blog about it. =) hope I will!
Johnson: Yeah … College sounds so heavenly now.
November 6, 2005 at 1:42 am
Liz, do all you can for your dreams, ‘fight’ for it if you have to, for what are we if not for the dreams that drive us, frustrate us, confound, tantalise us with its achingly unfulfilled promise of sweetness, telling us of the seemingly limitless possibilities and potentialities our souls possess, that we are very more than we seem.
But alas, gravity often pulls (drags, chains) us back to earth to remind us that we are but limited creatures, yet let us not be afraid to dream and to pursue it whole heartedly (as you would your dream man), completely and totally, without regrets even as the dreams may crumble to dust, for this pursuit to find one’s very own self and soul is a journey well worth the experience…nor for what is lost, but what is gained for having journeyed through it and for being true to one’s heart.
I myself have treaded, or rather, to an extent, am still treading my chosen path, even as
my dreams are fading ever before me and might not materialise at all in the end, but nonetheless I am still happy; and that is the key, to find out what really (ultimately) makes you happy and if your going for your dreams is it, go and run after it.
Hope this helps…from a very old but still dreaming idiot.
November 6, 2005 at 1:50 am
Johnson and Liz, yes, college is the time for the swtich. I did it many, many years ago when I entered uni to the chagrin of many relatives for not doing med (and still suffer from it). For me, despite my current situation, it was worth it.:smile:
November 6, 2005 at 2:41 am
yum…s0 h0t
love the spirit! cheers
November 6, 2005 at 3:28 am
Dreamer Idiot: Thanks alot for your wise words..and to Kimberlycun..damn right she is hot stuff..:mrgreen:
November 6, 2005 at 4:30 am
hmm.. this entry doesnt sound like the way you normally blog… *scratch head*
November 6, 2005 at 6:08 am
Liz,
My 2 cents are that whichever stream that you do in Form 4 and 5 doesn’t really matter. I think Science stream is better, unless you are 100% sure you don’t want to go down the “science”-y path. Ie., even with journalism, what if you somehow or other cover the science part of the paper?
Anyhoo, I have friends who took the Science stream in F5, and then Graphic design, journalism, etc. in college, and they’re doing quite well. I’m not sure that the Arts stream in F4-F5 actually teaches anything useful…. (oh! opening up myself to bashing here…:mrgreen:)
November 6, 2005 at 10:06 am
Hey hot chick!
Great post. Ahem.. SPM is coming.. Haha. Well, all the best babe!
November 6, 2005 at 10:58 am
well, forget that dude. You’re GOOD, you’re BETTER THAN EZRA
November 6, 2005 at 11:39 am
LIZZZZ!
*Supports you by grabbing you butt*
you look good in that pic. yes, u must chup that as your signature pose so other ppl cannot take it.
November 6, 2005 at 12:42 pm
Art stream? Well, probably accounting and economics are the most important papers taught there.
November 6, 2005 at 2:06 pm
Liz,
Good luck with your exam angst. Doing badly in your SPM would help you NOT become an accountant so think about it, its not bad at all. Personally, where jounalism is concerned no one’s gonna care about your results coz your writing speaks for itself. If the paper you want to write for reckons otherwise, its crap.
You dream will come to pass dear, just make sure journalism is REALLY your dream!
November 6, 2005 at 3:21 pm
It’s okay, there’s always college
partner as in………..*partner*?
November 6, 2005 at 5:48 pm
i wanted to be a vet when i was 11. my parents said no. then i discovered i could write, so i wanted to be a journalist. like you. guess where i am now? in med school. brilliant huh?
it doesn’t matter though. because i’m going to be a doctor who is also a journalist. the editor for the star health section every sunday was a surgeon. not all journalists are journalism majors. actually very few of them are. so i’m not that worried about not becoming something i wanted to be when i was little.
i get to be a part of each dream i had. a vet for humans who also writes. woohoo!
and it’s not a bad thing to be in the science stream wat. it means you won’t have trouble switching from one stream to another. all the best for spm! if you need help with chemistry can ask me. haha. =P
November 6, 2005 at 7:40 pm
dreamer idiot: hehe, yeah, thanks a lot for the wise words.
Kimberly: Thanks!
Life Feel: yeah, thanks a lot for stating the painfully obvious. O.o
Andrew: Yeah, I guess it doesn’t really matter as well. I’ve accepted it … just that I don’t really LOVE the subjects. hehe.
Kyels: Thanks! I’ll definitely need all the luck I can get. O.o
KY: Hah! I like that band …
expectation: Haha, thanks girl!
Eliar: Yeah. Hmm …
kpc: yeah, it really IS my dream.
And thanks for the advice!
Lainie: yeah … college … *dreams*
lishun: Hehe, can help me in Bio? :p
November 6, 2005 at 10:25 pm
Erm, this may come as a strange question but pardon me for i don’t really understand the Malaysian government school education system too well. Your parents have wanted you to become an Accountant but you went into Science stream?
Anyway, good luck in your exam as well as your pursuit of your dream, whatever it may be.
November 6, 2005 at 10:44 pm
I may not know you but all the best to you in SPM. Cheers~
November 6, 2005 at 10:50 pm
havent read something so natural ..i enjoyed your writing
good luck in your SPM!
November 6, 2005 at 10:58 pm
Pinpin: Nope, my parents didn’t choose my stream for me. My school did, cause they automatically placed all the students with straight As for our PMR examinations in the science stream. =/
Anthraxxx: Hehe, thanks a lot!
Kris: Thanks! >.
November 6, 2005 at 11:18 pm
It makes no difference what stream you are in. Don’t worry. I was in a Pure Science class. In fact, it was the only class in the whole year which didn’t do Prinsip Akaun.
5 years later, out of the whole class, there are only 3 engineers, 3 doctors (going to be) and 1 pharmacist. Everybody else is into law, finance, econs, accounts and all those other stuffs. Oh, one guy sells handphones (or the covers, I don’t remember) but I don’t think that qualifies as a science stream job.
November 7, 2005 at 8:06 am
I can vouch for Vincent.
November 7, 2005 at 11:27 am
i was a science stream student all the way till form six and look what i ended up as. i guess pure science just gives you more options.
November 8, 2005 at 11:36 pm
hey, you speak for all 17 year olds! I’m prretty much one of them. Lovely speech. And what halloween picture? It’s pretty! >.
November 10, 2005 at 5:52 pm
malaysian schools usually group good-results students into science stream classes and the others into other streams. unless you applied for a change.
i was in science stream till form 5, a enrolled into mmu for creative multimedia, majoring in film and animation(i do what i like
). no biology, physics, chemistry whatsoever. just a lil bit more maths. but what i’ve have learned do come in handy, a little, and probably will somewhere later in life.
usually used-to-be-science stream students here have better results than used-to-be-art stream students.