On being average
Nov 09, 2005 in General
Hi! This is Viewtru, the Social Commentary guy.
I’m feeling kinda underprivileged. And all because of this ‘toilets and cars hot spots for sex’ article.
44% of the people have had sex in the loo.
I’m not one of them.
38% have had sex in the car.
I’m not there either.
24% have had sex in their parents bedroom.
Struck out there too.
In fact, when I’m in my parents bedroom, the last thing I wish to think about is sex.
I’m so not with it.
There’s more.
2% have had sex in aeroplanes.
Can you here me groaning? I so wanted to join the Mile High Club, moaning in ecstasy one mile above the ground. But no, I didn’t have that kind of luck. The most I can ever aspire to is to join the PPS mile high club for bloggers who have racked up 1,000 or more blog postings. That is the sorry version of the Mile High Club, I know.
If that is not being underprivileged, then I don’t know what is.
Here’s the kicker: “…the average Malaysian has sex 83 times a year…”
Damn chia lat, now I’m not even average. This sucks.
On the plus side of my life, I wrote one whole chapter yesterday for my NanoWrimo effort. That’s right, one whole freaking chapter. I’ve just published Chapter 3 of the 3-in-1 Kungfu Girl story. Twelve more chapters to go. If I can maintain this speed, I should be able to complete the NanoWrimo challenge. The storyline is coming along better than expected. Better than my Li Daifu story or the inane Viewtru’s Lantern Tales. The only problem is that it is going to be slightly X-rated. I doubt if I would be able to sell it to the major studios. You know how stuffy those dipshits are. They can’t stand a little bit of modern progressive thinking.
Maybe I ought to write less sex.
And become sexually more ‘average’.
So tell me, are you average yet?