On being average
Hi! This is Viewtru, the Social Commentary guy.
I’m feeling kinda underprivileged. And all because of this ‘toilets and cars hot spots for sex’ article.
44% of the people have had sex in the loo.
I’m not one of them.
38% have had sex in the car.
I’m not there either.
24% have had sex in their parents bedroom.
Struck out there too.
In fact, when I’m in my parents bedroom, the last thing I wish to think about is sex.
I’m so not with it.
There’s more.
2% have had sex in aeroplanes.
Can you here me groaning? I so wanted to join the Mile High Club, moaning in ecstasy one mile above the ground. But no, I didn’t have that kind of luck. The most I can ever aspire to is to join the PPS mile high club for bloggers who have racked up 1,000 or more blog postings. That is the sorry version of the Mile High Club, I know.
If that is not being underprivileged, then I don’t know what is.
Here’s the kicker: “…the average Malaysian has sex 83 times a year…”
Damn chia lat, now I’m not even average. This sucks.
On the plus side of my life, I wrote one whole chapter yesterday for my NanoWrimo effort. That’s right, one whole freaking chapter. I’ve just published Chapter 3 of the 3-in-1 Kungfu Girl story. Twelve more chapters to go. If I can maintain this speed, I should be able to complete the NanoWrimo challenge. The storyline is coming along better than expected. Better than my Li Daifu story or the inane Viewtru’s Lantern Tales. The only problem is that it is going to be slightly X-rated. I doubt if I would be able to sell it to the major studios. You know how stuffy those dipshits are. They can’t stand a little bit of modern progressive thinking.
Maybe I ought to write less sex.
And become sexually more ‘average’.
So tell me, are you average yet?
November 9th, 2005 at 1:32 pm
well u know what they say - lies, damned lies and sexysticks.
if it makes you feel any better, on average the Malaysian blogger has s-x 0 times a year.
once again - lies, damned lies and sexysticks.
November 9th, 2005 at 1:36 pm
oh, i forgot to mention that you and FA seem to be going on about the same thing most of the time. methinks the two of you should get together some time and fill in each other’s voids.
November 9th, 2005 at 1:41 pm
percerntage of average Malaysians lied about them having frequent sex = 60%
If FA and viewtru really get together, I think alot of hearts would get broken..
November 9th, 2005 at 1:51 pm
I’m not average either. More like GROSSLY under averaged if there’s even such a term.
Oi. Why you jokers talking about me behind my back all har? Fella got HotBabe adi. Don’t buat kacau other people’s happiness can!
November 9th, 2005 at 1:54 pm
totoro: Why do you call statistics as sexysticks. You find numbers sexy? Hahahah! FA and I are totally different. I don’t drink! Or visit clubs.
The other Kenny: Like what I told totoro! You could be right in that many of those respondents to the survey are lying.
November 9th, 2005 at 2:01 pm
i took part in that survey and didn’t lied. Gosh… we are only average? This calls for an urgent Buayas-R-Us council meeting!
November 9th, 2005 at 2:32 pm
Why no Hosipital,Cinema, Karaoke Room….?
November 9th, 2005 at 2:46 pm
fake statistics….
i have 0 a year…. hahahaha…
November 9th, 2005 at 3:59 pm
damion:
any more than that and u won’t be trolling blogs.
November 9th, 2005 at 4:11 pm
anyway, maybe the percentage of who lied about their sex survey increases already…thats why the stats look so fake. Why u should be average when u ought to be different…especially in boy-girl relationship
November 9th, 2005 at 4:14 pm
yea I answered that survey either LOL
November 9th, 2005 at 4:31 pm
MALAYSIANS HAVE SEX??
November 9th, 2005 at 4:44 pm
hehe, kurt, without sex, where did you come from.
but i know now that you are a virgin yay.
November 9th, 2005 at 4:59 pm
i have never had sex in an aeroplane and i have never had sex in my parents bedroom… err wait.. does HER parents bedroom count?
November 9th, 2005 at 5:09 pm
its disgusting how a high percentage has done it in the parents bedroom. What were u people thinking! its so sick.
November 9th, 2005 at 5:23 pm
minishorts: B-b-but my parents told me I was picked up from a big dumpster in the old Subang Jaya SS15 wet market!! You mean they LIED??
November 9th, 2005 at 5:35 pm
Hahaha…I thought someone would raised this topic, too bad Kennysia didnt join in blogging abt this, otherwise….
Anyway, the majority of the respondents were young Malaysians and male, which explains quite a bit of the totoro’s view of the inglated sextistic (/ego). On the other hand, it could have som truths too.
(Sexual attitudes and behaviours are changing, where a formerly tight-upper-lipped conservative China having many young pp engaging in sex more openly than before)
Another probability for the high sexual encounters in toilets can be due to the possibility of gay/lesbian enconters(?) or a pent up release of high sexual tensions in a generally conservative Malaysian society in ’secret’,, ‘taboo’ or closeted areas, where the excitement of ’sin/fordidden fruits’ heightens sexual behaviour (?)
November 9th, 2005 at 5:52 pm
“24% have had sex in their parents bedroom.”
To be fair, that’s sometimes the only double bed in a house, so some kids get desperate :).
November 9th, 2005 at 6:04 pm
damnit
i want to have sex in front of the camera, in the clubs and the loo too!!! grrrr
btw
the 3-in-1 Kungfu Girl.. is that any sexual reference to like… 3 men, 1 girl kind of situations?
November 9th, 2005 at 6:45 pm
If you think about it, it kinda make sense lar…loo, car..then back home at the master bedroom
…yes it has to be in that order 
kids….
November 9th, 2005 at 7:10 pm
erm, you know… the toilet in Malaysia is pretty much the bathroom as well.
and *that* is really not that bad a place to ‘do it’, especially if you happen to shower together, or bathe each other, etc etc. and, those with bathtubs are even more fun.
well, that’s what those annoying little birds tell me anyway.
November 9th, 2005 at 10:02 pm
damnit: In answer to your question, in the 3-in-1 Kungfu girl, the sex will be one to one. The most I have is a reference to a scene where a kungfu master does it with a woman while being watched by two lesbian bodyguards. It’s a slightly unusual scene.
November 9th, 2005 at 11:21 pm
How come the survey did notmention about Hand-Sex or Cucumber Sex? I’m sure then then the statistics would be 100% Yes!
November 9th, 2005 at 11:21 pm
Dabido’s Dr Suess Response to this post:
Never had it in a car,
Never done it in a bar,
Neither in my parents bed,
Not in a plane, not in a shed.
Couldn’t imagine doing it in a loo,
With my socks on, but not wearing shoes,
Eighty three times in a year seems too low,
They obviously have trouble getting a go.
One hundred and thirty seems more to the mark,
With the lights on, or in the dark,
We once did it in the living room,
Hoping my flatmate would not arrive home soon.
On a bean bag, and under a quilt,
Hoping my sperm would not get spilt,
Of course I did this, with my ex-wife,
Now you know all of Dabido’s sex life!
Aren’t you glad I wrote that … now you’ll be too scared to look at me in the face again!
{Not without giggling anyway!}
November 10th, 2005 at 1:04 am
Dabido: If 130 in 365 days which means only 3times per week.If u in Malaysia u will do better.Malaysia got ‘Tongkat Ali’.You knows what is Tongkat Ali ?..:mrgreen:
November 10th, 2005 at 3:28 am
It’s been more than 1 year not being average di. Sad case…
Anyway, I doubt Malaysians are that brave ler. Car? Parent bedroom? I bet just a small portion Malaysian did that.
November 10th, 2005 at 4:03 am
Huh?!
What is sex?
November 10th, 2005 at 8:50 am
ST: .I.
November 10th, 2005 at 8:58 am
KY, perhaps…
ST: you gotta be kidding mate…
November 10th, 2005 at 9:28 am
LiDaiFu kungfu & LiDaiSor gongku.. i reckon the latter
November 10th, 2005 at 9:32 am
I’ve done only one out of the four.
November 10th, 2005 at 9:39 am
3% in public transport?! Are we (Malaysians) THAT raunchy??!!
November 10th, 2005 at 12:36 pm
93~94 - I didn’t know what Tongkat Ali was till i googled for it! Testesterone boosters? Hope it isn’t like Steroids? That can shrink your balls man!!! I prefer my balls as they are, nice normal size and not crushed!
Anyway, I don’t need testesterone boost. I remember back when I first got married, we did it every friggin’ night at first for months … then, even though we both felt we still wanted it, we felt it wasn’t normal to do it every night, so we skipped a night, and then after a while it got into a routine which was two or three days a week … though part of tht was because I’d avoid asking during a certain time of month in case she ripped my head off, or raped me (depending on her mood)!!!
FF - which ONE out of those four? Please, do tell!!!!
November 10th, 2005 at 3:53 pm