Ah yes, dim wits.
Well. A very helpful guy once told his female friend, who was infatuated with another fella, that she shouldn't be wasting her time doing so much guessing work as to whether 'those signs' are real.
What emerged was a pretty intriguing conversation between the female friend and the helpful guy.
Helpful guy: Obviously, he keeps on coming back for you. He's doing so many nice things for you.
Female friend: Well, he's nice to me yes, and no guy's ever so nice to me, ever. I mean, I was stranded in Klang and he was in good old Cheras, at 2 am in the morning, and he comes all the way to pick me up.
Helpful guy: Exactly, and those chocolates? A present for you to make you feel better? Sure it's something special.
Female friend: Yea, and the CD. I didn't even know he knew that I was looking around for it. He ordered it from the States, you know?
Helpful guy: Well, you better do something about it, I mean, you ask him to stop being so nice to you lah because it's causing an eyesore to the public, unless you like him. And then, four months adi it's been like this. Damn eyesore you know. Other people want to go after you also don't dare.
Female friend: Is it that obvious that I like him?
Helpful guy: Duh, anyway I don't blame you lah. If I'm a girl I might fall for these tricks also. Look. You have to stop pondering what if, so much. Your man's smart, but he's a little dim-witted in these things. Sometimes the girl has to push the guy. Besides, he'll enjoy the attention.
Female friend: What do I do to push the guy?
Helpful guy: Tell him you love him.
Female friend: Eh. Cannot. That will make me look cheap.
Helpful guy: Girl, you have to take the initiative. We're not living in the Victorian Age anymore. And guys are dim-witted, remember!
OK. NOW YOU SAW THAT LAH. THAT FELLA GO AND SWEEPINGLY SAY THAT GUYS ARE DIM-WITTED, which I personally feel is an overgeneralization. Look, I don' think guys are dim-witted per se, although I'll admit that some of them are dim-witted (just like SOME girls are blur yay).
But in these sort of things, personally, I WILL SCREW WHOEVER WHO THINKS HE'S BEING A DAMN HELPFUL FELLA by telling the girl to 'tell him you love him'. That is the most chee-bye nonsense I have ever, ever seen. OK lah, she can push the guy, help him a little, drop hints, allow him to know that she is aware that he likes her, but call the guy to tell him, 'Hi, I love you?'
What sort of nonsense is this? THAT IS THE ONE THING YOU CANNOT EVER DO, until you know for certain that you already have the fella (that is, you're already IN a relationship). You know lah, how egocentric most men are, they will always blow situations out of proportion. For instance, my best friend once told a guy, 'I think I have feelings for you lah… more than normal feelings.'
See, you see that line, does it LOOK like I said, 'I love you'?
'I think I have feelings for you' is not equivalent to 'I love you', you stupid ass.
But you know what happened? The cheebye fucker went around telling everyone that she wanted to court him. Like damn wanted like that. Of course lah in the end he became a standing joke in our circle of gossipy friends.
Dim-witted men? MY ASS. EGO-MANIACS more like it. I can have feelings for HELLO KITTY also lah… what the fuck. I can even tell you straight to the face here, here, here that I have a crush on Viewtru('s blog). Does it mean the same as me going up to Viewtru and saying 'I LOVE YOU'?
NO RIGHT?
SO there. Dim-wits. Nabeh. I didn't called you guys dim-witted no-nuts. A GUY SAID THAT ABOUT GUYS: 'GUYS ARE DIM-WITTED, REMEMBER.'
And I say this, no dim-witted guy should EVER deserve a girlfriend. You want to get fucked? Go find some wits first. Having no brains is no excuse for having no balls. You're MAN for fuck's sake, you want a girl, YOU TELL HER YOU LIKE HER, don't make her go around for four fucking months, and then when she gets some lame advice from another male friend, and goes up to your face to tell you, 'I love you', you give her the deserved respect, and NOT go around blowing your own trumpet about how SHE was the one who courted you.
November 11th, 2005 at 11:58 am
Don’t tell him you love her, tahts stupid, but tell him something lah. Some guys are just soo afraid of being rejected they never make the first move. Maybe ask him “Is there something u want to aske me?”. Some guys memang very blur.
November 11th, 2005 at 12:02 pm
if so blur then learn not to be blur. that helpful fella lagi ‘helpful’. might as well keep his ideas to himself cipet.
November 11th, 2005 at 12:05 pm
I wonder why the helpful guy is very ‘helpful’. Got udang di sebalik mee kot
November 11th, 2005 at 12:06 pm
i admit it. I’m blur.
November 11th, 2005 at 12:08 pm
For all you know, the helpful guy is the dim-wit’s msg’er…
conspiracy… muahahahaha
November 11th, 2005 at 12:24 pm
To quote Carly Simon…
“You’re…. so vain”
I do not think that saying “I love you” is witty which qualifies anyone who uses it to profess love as a dim-wit including, rather unfortunately, me.
November 11th, 2005 at 12:25 pm
The Science of Dating part one.
Theorem 1.
guys are dim-witted, remember!
Yes, that is true. I have an IQ in the top 1%, and I am dim witted, so I’d hate to be someone in the other 99% of the population.
Theorem 2.
no dim-witted guy should EVER deserve a girlfriend
So, knowing that all guys are dim witted [theorem 1], and knowing that no dim-wiited guy should ever deserve a GF [theorem 2] we are left with these possiblities for girls:
1/ Girls should become lesbian
2/ Girls can date dim witted guys, but they don’t deserve you.
3/ Skip the dating part … skip straight to getting married!
4/ Don’t date, just sleep around like a Yariman!
5/ Batteries are cheaper if you buy in bulk!
‘Hi, I love you?’
Had it happen before. Is extremely flattering and a REAL person will realise that it doesnt’ cheapen the person who says it. I’ve maintained friendships with girls who have said this to me. (Though I’ve mentioned before the girl who once told me she wanted to get me drunk, take me home and root me senseless - and I am still good friends with her, even though we’ve never slept together … because I immediately ran away!)
BUT, I agree, there are lots of ways to handle the situation which is way better than ‘Hi, I love You’, because that then leaves the other person (whether male of female) in an awkward position.
My suggestion, both HELPFUL GUY and this girl knows who this other fella is (and he’s ben so nice to her and everything, he MUST LIKE HER … or he’s gay), in which case, HELPFUL GUY needs to talk to both parties, get a good feel for the situation and then arrange a ‘movie night’ for a large group, and forget to invite everyone else EXCEPT THOSE TWO, so they are left at the meeting by themselves. In fact, if he cn actually organise a large group, and they all phone one member of the couple once they KNOW both have turned up at the movies, and they all make excuses why they can’t turn up.
This leaves ONLY THOSE TWO there … actually, try to time it so they’ve both already bought tickets … then they won’t go home …
As HELPFUL GUY has already made it clear that they both like each other, then it should be easy for the GUY TO ASK HER OUT!!!!! And they are alreayd on their first OFFICIAL DATE TOO!
Damn I can be tricky when I want to be.
Please, offer solutions to any holes you see in my plan … [ie, don't just tell me it won't work ... we're trying to get someporper procedures in place here!!!]
Method TWO - get KY to Pimp the Lass, and have HELPFUL GUY prompt the guy to make the only bid … and KY cna moderate to keep all other bids off his comment box, so that ONLY THE ONE BID WILL EXIST … then they have to date each other!!!
Damn I’m good … but also dim-witted because I am a guy … but good for a dim wit~
November 11th, 2005 at 1:04 pm
Eleh, the female also suck le, if she likes him, can’t she say it to him 1st? There’s no law prohibit her to do that and she won’t be considered as cheap because she didn’t express her love to every human who have balls and stick hanging between their crotch right. And I don’t mean for her to straight away tell him, “Hi, I love you”
For the guy, he’s really a dim-witted. He have already build a good foundation there but he have no balls to take the next step. Oi! wake up la, four months of courting ritual is a long time!! get a move on or you’ll miss the bus.
Dabido is right about when a guy would do anything for a girl, it would mean two things, he likes her alot or he’s gay.
November 11th, 2005 at 1:18 pm
OOooppssss.. missed the rest of the stories. My bad. Spank me!!
That guy are a bloody idiot who let his balls do the thinking. That helpful guy should shut his trap and I think I should too now..
November 11th, 2005 at 4:18 pm
Well clearly saying ‘I love you’ is pointless. How can you even know that you do if you barely know someone?
I think you have to decide what you want with someone. Are they just ‘really nice’ or do they have lasting potential? And then go for it. People who are all ‘but what do they mean when they do / say that?’ drive me up the wall. Wear some sexy underwear, ask him on a date and do your thang.
November 11th, 2005 at 4:37 pm
yeah..the guy should do the work and not leave the girl to guess.
Forget this fella lar…
November 11th, 2005 at 5:19 pm
I mean,guys are really dim-witted. The guy don’t want to say anything, ‘coz it might be too soon. The girl might freak out or whatever. But, on the other hand, the guy also want to know whether she liked him or not.So, if the girl said it first, at least the guy won’t be so “pai seh” oso.
Saying “Hi, I love you” is probably too much.Saying she noticed that he does a lot of stuff for her is already good enough to hint him that she likes him.
November 11th, 2005 at 7:36 pm
to the female friend:
you don’t get it do you….he’s just not that into you…get over it and move on
November 11th, 2005 at 10:24 pm
You should read this. Kthxbai.
November 11th, 2005 at 11:13 pm
to the HELPFUL GUY who teached her to say “i love you”…
halo flen… LOVE is a very strong word lah.. gilakah?
to the “GUY”
congrats on your new found relationship..
dei, wake up before i slap some senses into your egoistic balls.. she’s not a prize trophy…
p.s.
IMHO, going around telling people that “the girl courted him” is very to the girl ..
November 12th, 2005 at 12:13 am
cibai.. sticking your nose into ppl’s affairs. wtf aunty agony
November 12th, 2005 at 12:27 am
meant to say “very degrading”… somehow the word lost in my mind when i was typing the comment..
gomenn…
November 12th, 2005 at 3:10 am
dim wits?
testing out how to trackback and what it does…
on a side note..
some guys are dim wits…
but not all…
but one thing for sure…
i’m a hypocrite with double standards…
depends on which pill i take every morning..
at le…
November 12th, 2005 at 4:55 am
Regardless of what the 21st century holds or whatever supposedly new trends are coming up to, I will stick to the old fashion way. I have to admit in using the ’sign’ language in courting the opposite sex when I was younger. I was probably too shy or I was afraid of rejection. But I got rejected anyway. As I grew older, I slowly obtained the imminent courage to tell ‘I love you’ or ‘I like you’ straight at the girl’s face. My very first attempt got the girl freaked out but that was only the beginning. Things got natural eventually. Anyhow, the process of a guy making the first move is still very exciting and you get to experience probably the largest amount of adrenalin pumping into your blood stream provided if you like the girl alot. So yeah, the old fashion way is still very much one of the best deal out there
November 12th, 2005 at 7:20 am
Behold… we’re witnessing the miracle of natural selection!
November 12th, 2005 at 12:10 pm
haha, lawak lawak!!
but easier said than done lar, it’s hard to tell a girl that we like er.
imagine the possibilities, the negative possibilities…..
ewww….*shuts eye*
November 12th, 2005 at 1:33 pm
aiyahhhhhhh, I pick my friends up from obscure places and buy the stuff to make them feel better….Doesn’t mean I want to boink them.
November 12th, 2005 at 2:31 pm
A guy said that guys are dim-witted?? The stinking traitor! Revealing our biggest secret! He should be hung! Right after I find out what that means.
November 12th, 2005 at 3:26 pm
Some dimwitted guys take like forever to start a relationship. But when they do, they are extremely loyal. The cool smooth dude who can easily tell a girl that he loves her is also the same dude who wlll easily say later, “Let’s just be friends!”
Easy make, easy break. The dating game is complicated. Very!
November 12th, 2005 at 3:54 pm
Damion said “…she’s not a prize trophy…”
Of course not, he’d have her mounted already if she was! Woooops! Me bad!
Anthraaaax said “…the process of a guy making the first move is still very exciting and you get to experience probably the largest amount of adrenalin pumping into your blood stream provided if you like the girl alot.”
The problem comes when she slips on the yellow patch after you wet yourself!!! Rollercoasters are much less nerve wracking! So is sky diving for the record … or maybe that just says a lot about me!
dinghy said “Behold… we’re witnessing the miracle of natural selection!”
Yes, and also the process of natural rejection!
Lainie said “Doesn’t mean I want to boink them.”
I am so disappointed in you Lainie. Did I bring you up to be nice to people? No! So get out there boinking everyone!!!!
[Just kidding ... don't kick me in da nuts!!!]
Kurt said “Revealing our biggest secret!”
Shhhh Kurt. It was never a secret. You’re making us look dim witted … again … I think … maybe … whatever that means … darn!
Viewtru said, “Some dimwitted guys take like forever to start a relationship.”
Stop talking about me behind my back! I’m standing right here!!!
Actually, if I can be serious for a moment (if that is at all possible), what Viewtru has said is actually quite true. There is a reason for this too. Normally, the act of asking out the girl is often very nerve wracking for soem guys as it’s so important to them. I remember reading a study done on the very subject once. Guys who can easily ask girls out are also the ones who DO leave them very easily.
The ones who take their time, look for a girl that means a lot to them. When they actually consider asking them out, often they have to over come a lot of nerves. The possibility of loosing the fantastic girl they have finally found is mind blowingly angst ridden. How would you girls feel if the perfect (insert whatever is important to you) rejected you? [Yes, i know, you've never been rejected by a chocolate before ... but consider it!]
November 12th, 2005 at 6:01 pm
It’s not dim-witted per se, but the fact is that we miss a lot of things. That’s why we exaggerate lah, we’re so used to trying to dig out so much meaning from you enigmatic sphinxes that when you go outright tell the guy something he’s going to think ‘HOLEY MOLEY SHE <insert message here x 1000>’.
But generally it’s better to be up-front about stuff like this. Being shy and coy is a mug’s game in the modern world. Don’t do it, don’t try to be subtle. Subtle works when people are all aligned with each other. Not true any more.
November 13th, 2005 at 12:34 am
“Some dimwitted guys take like forever to start a relationship. But when they do, they are extremely loyal. ”
But, in some cases, before the dimwitted guys got a chance to know his dream girl properly, someone already “kebas” the girl liao.
Spoke from experience.
November 13th, 2005 at 7:25 pm
this is so true. good job on this.
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