just minishorts.

Jolene is back with another crazy post. This one, like most of her others, is yet another insanity covered chocolate eclair–deliciously yummy. For more Jolene, you know where to go. Clickety click click.

Exactly how many of us grew up to fulfill our childhood ambitions? Those impossible dreams seemed so realistic back then. If you wanted to be a princess, you knew you could be a princess. If you wanted to be a Barbie doll, you knew you could be a barbie doll. If you wanted to be a..er.. a bar of chocolate, you knew you could be a bar of chocolate. Oh, you get my drift.

At the age of 6, you don't expect a child to say, "When I grow up, I want to be a financial analyst!"

People put aside these childhood ambitions just to put food on the table. So we take on boring jobs like Research and Development, Sales Executive, Accountant, Microbiologist etc.etc.

I wonder when we stopped dreaming the impossible. Maybe when reality started to take over.

Every little boy wanted to be a fireman or a policeman or even a soldier. But once they grew up, got educated and saw what kind of people actually dominated that line of work, they get turned off and hence you get the stereotype policeman in Malaysia. Ta-dah!

As for me, my first ambition was to become a scientist. A scientist who could invent the coolest machines again and again and again. I was five years old and I suspect that the ambition was drilled in by my father. As I grew older, I learnt the actual title for such a scientist: Mechanical Engineer. But what did I know, I only knew how to tell inquisitive relatives, "I want to be a scientist when I grow up!" and they'd gush about how smart I was at a young age and I'd just sit there beaming up from my baby chair. I knew shit about science and was not particularly interested in science. Just know how to brag only.

Then came my 9th year and I was fascinated by astronomy. I would actually read all the astronomy bits in the encyclopedias at home and could recite how far Pluto is from the Sun. (I've forgotten the distance, don't ask.) I used to love looking up at the stars during the month of December because that's when most of the stars were able to be seen. Especially the Orion belt. I decided that I wanted to be an astronaut! This was before I knew that physics and maths are important for an astronaut. Being an astronaut is probably one of the most impossible dreams that I've had.

During my later primary school years, I wanted to be a prime minister! I wanted to lead the country and I thought that it would be nice if the country gets a woman as a prime minister for a change! I would change so many things about the country. If my deputy was gay, I wouldn't be bothered and would just say, "Up to him lorh." The fun part would be the chance to shout "Merdeka!!" on Merdeka Day in front of the entire country.

I told my Aunty that if I failed to be a prime minister, I would want to be a hair dresser. My biggest dream as a hair dresser would be to create the longest wig with all the hair that I've cut from all my customers. I would spend my evenings sweeping the hair off the floor and weave them together at night. I will make money by selling wigs, I thought.

Sometime in Form 3, I thought being a vet was a good career choice. I was pretty obsessed about the idea and I would doodle little pictures of cats and dogs in my textbooks. The idea evaporated when I sent a pet to the petshop. The stench of dog shit took my dreams away.

At 15 years of age, I found myself indulging in chick lits. In one book, I read about something called an "Entertainment and Media Lawyer". A lawyer of that kind deals with the media and you know, to every young person, the media is cool. The media is ALWAYS cool. *rolls eyes*. I told my father I wanted to be a lawyer. He said, "You sure ar? I scared later you cry."

The er..thing around my neck is supposed to be those napkin ruffles thingie that lawyers wear. Heh.

Then came form5 and I wondered, hmm, which job would be financially rewarding with a 9-5 type of working hours? I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my braces and I thought, "YEs! I shall be an orthodontist. Perfect!" I went to education fairs and enquired about dentistry here and there and everywhere. At that time, only the public universities offered dentistry and I was not planning on going for form6. The only affordable choice was dentistry at National University of Singapore which required straight A's for A-levels. It would be ideal if there was a dental school in Malaysia.

When the results for my A-levels were really bad, I knew that NUS was a no-go for me and as I had enough for IMU, I thought HEY, maybe I can become a doctor instead of a dentist. But I am the typical Malaysian child, fathered and mothered by typical malaysian parents. So you understand lah our mentality. :(. I was not happy with that "ambition". It was only an alternative. I felt like I was sentencing myself to a lifetime of depression and sleepless nights. Now that I look back on it, I realise that the only reason why I held on to that dream for a few more months was so that I did not disappoint my parents. =(

I came to a cross road and wondered if I could connect passion and financial security with my future career. During one of those day dreams when I should have been concentrating on studying for my A-levels Biology, I decided that I shall go into biomed and biotech and then work for cosmetic giants! Woot!! In time to come, I will have my own line of cosmetics and in half a century, you can bet your ass that I'll have a counter next to Stila's in every departmental store. But deep down I knew that the job opportunities for a biomed/biotech graduate in Malaysia are few and it would not be that smooth a path. I still stuck with it because of the 'passion' factor.

One day, my father read about a private university being the first to offer dentistry in Malaysia in the papers. And the rest, as they say, is history.

But at the end of the day, if it weren't for dreams, we would not have the drive to push ourselves and we'd all end up working as a rubbish man. At least that's how my parents used to scare me, "Hah! You don't study lah! Later you become rubbish woman only you know~!"