Archive for November 23rd, 2005

Jaws

Nov 23, 2005 in General

Hi, this is Viewtru. No, I’m not doing any social commentary today. I’m tired of that shit and nobody listens anyway.

It was while reading this story about how a woman locked her jaw on the robber's penis that I was reminded about the great strength of the jaw muscles.

It’s amazing really. Those of you who have been bitten by four-year old kids will readily testify to the untold damage that a set of out-of-control jaw muscles can do. Do you know why your gym instructor is always on your case to work your triceps and deltoids, but never seem to be even remotely interested in designing a simple fitness program for your jaw muscles? That’s because he knows that they are strong enough already.

Do you realize that if you can transfer a jaw muscle to your you-know-what, then Viagra sales will nosedive? Aha!

Okay, never mind. Let’s get back to the topic.

Creatures like hyenas and wolverines are known to have jaw muscles so strong that they can crush bones. Which is why you should NEVAH try to get a blowjob from a hyena or a wolverine. If you do that, then you’re probably retarded and the world won’t miss you when you’re gone. Heck, don’t even think about it.

Digressing a bit, I once heard my mother said that crabs too, are also son-of-a-bitch relentless in their grips. She warned me that if ever I was dumb enough to get bitten by the claws of a crab, the stupid crab would not let go unless there was thunder in the sky. She was right. A friend of mine got bitten on the finger by a crab once and so I asked him to wait for thunder. But it was a sunny day with no sign of thunder, so finally, I had to break off the damn claw. Can’t remember what happened to the crab after that.

But, back to jaws. The most powerful pair of jaws I have ever met did not belong to a shark, but belonged to a girl who sat in my car while I was driving from Kuala
Terengganu to KL. Can you believe that she could talk non-stop during the whole journey without her jaws getting tired? I had to turn off the radio so that everybody in the car could listen to her. Now, that is powerful. She married a Mat Salleh later. He’s probably experiencing her ‘jaws of death’ every night. I saw him once after the wedding and he looked haggard. Poor fella. Or maybe my sympathies are misplaced.

Coming back to the news story. The woman should have bitten the balls rather than the penis. The balls are so sensitive to pain that the robber would probably have fainted or died if she had done so. Even a simple twist of the balls with the weaker hand would have immobilized him. Sheesh, I can’t even think about it without getting goosebumps.

This is Viewtru, signing off.

Host problems

Nov 23, 2005 in General

There're some problems regarding my hosting, which explains the volatile nature of this blog recently. The site is hard to access, and sometimes, it is difficult for me to log in and post stuff, and it's difficult for guestbloggers and my administrators to do the same too.

It's all very well that it's nearing the end of the year, and I'm supposed to have 'rejuvenated' so to speak. While I have given up on the NaNoWriMo novel because I'm too lazy to finish it I can't concentrate on handling too many lesson topics at the same time while I'm writing a novel, MiniNanos will remain a place for me to write about exploitations into the novel (which I will return too when this project ends), and how work and external factors affect me in the ambition pursuit.

I'm too old to have ambitions really. Yesterday, I walked out of the gym, and a five year old called me 'Auntie, where is the lift,' and I tried not to laugh at myself when I took her to the lift and brought her to her place (goodness, how can you let five year olds wander around a shopping centre alone!)I could choose to say that being dressed in office wear makes me look more mature, but then again, I've already breached 25, and sheesh, I am older, no matter how much I delude myself (and put up the mask). There are different problems I have to face now, questions relating to relationships, family, friends, and the reunions, oh the reunions… and work of course, work and money, they come hand in hand.

I haven't quite been able to look at my situations from all sides of the coin, but whatever. As the mighty Zeus says, time to move on… and yet not give a damn at the same time. The absence was good, it was necessary so that I was able to separate blog from person, blogger from person, reality from surreality. It has always been like that, aloof, separate, and all of these–unimportant. And I have the bloggers to thank, the ones who helped me maintain the site while I tried to discover myself YET again: FA, Elaine, Viewtru, the others, and especially Vincent, who took in the bulk of content managing (regardless of spiteful comments), my wordpress administrator Edrei of course, who helps to ensure the site stays up and running…

I don't see myself coming full circle anytime soon, but I'm willing to attempt to try to give up on goals and focus on living in the present instead. Maybe, like I said, the server problems, hosting issues, and high maintenance fees are telling me something. And it's December soon. I'll be back soon, a little different, but definitely the same.

So maybe tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, you won't be able to see anything new, or you won't be able to surf around, or you won't be able to post comments. Ah. I don't have the time to bother about these things yet. I'll see you in a bit when December falls upon us, and in the meantime, thank you for paying me a visit.

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