just minishorts.

Hi, this is Viewtru. No, I’m not doing any social commentary today. I’m tired of that shit and nobody listens anyway.

It was while reading this story about how a woman locked her jaw on the robber's penis that I was reminded about the great strength of the jaw muscles.

It’s amazing really. Those of you who have been bitten by four-year old kids will readily testify to the untold damage that a set of out-of-control jaw muscles can do. Do you know why your gym instructor is always on your case to work your triceps and deltoids, but never seem to be even remotely interested in designing a simple fitness program for your jaw muscles? That’s because he knows that they are strong enough already.

Do you realize that if you can transfer a jaw muscle to your you-know-what, then Viagra sales will nosedive? Aha!

Okay, never mind. Let’s get back to the topic.

Creatures like hyenas and wolverines are known to have jaw muscles so strong that they can crush bones. Which is why you should NEVAH try to get a blowjob from a hyena or a wolverine. If you do that, then you’re probably retarded and the world won’t miss you when you’re gone. Heck, don’t even think about it.

Digressing a bit, I once heard my mother said that crabs too, are also son-of-a-bitch relentless in their grips. She warned me that if ever I was dumb enough to get bitten by the claws of a crab, the stupid crab would not let go unless there was thunder in the sky. She was right. A friend of mine got bitten on the finger by a crab once and so I asked him to wait for thunder. But it was a sunny day with no sign of thunder, so finally, I had to break off the damn claw. Can’t remember what happened to the crab after that.

But, back to jaws. The most powerful pair of jaws I have ever met did not belong to a shark, but belonged to a girl who sat in my car while I was driving from Kuala
Terengganu to KL. Can you believe that she could talk non-stop during the whole journey without her jaws getting tired? I had to turn off the radio so that everybody in the car could listen to her. Now, that is powerful. She married a Mat Salleh later. He’s probably experiencing her ‘jaws of death’ every night. I saw him once after the wedding and he looked haggard. Poor fella. Or maybe my sympathies are misplaced.

Coming back to the news story. The woman should have bitten the balls rather than the penis. The balls are so sensitive to pain that the robber would probably have fainted or died if she had done so. Even a simple twist of the balls with the weaker hand would have immobilized him. Sheesh, I can’t even think about it without getting goosebumps.

This is Viewtru, signing off.

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