Attached to inconvenience
Closer friends would know that my bf's sold his car and we're now alternating between my car and his mother's car, whichever is more convenient. Obviously being the gf makes my three year old wira the easier option — after all, I drive to work, and the car stays still in the carpark from 8 to 6 daily.
So suddenly, I'm meeting Eric not just once daily, but several times daily. Mornings, its hello, peck on the cheek, and then we're off to breakfast, after that he'll drop me off work with a bear hug, and promises to pick me up after work later. And then we have dinner, it's either at his place, usually at mine, and Mum's begun to cook more hearty dinners since I'm dining at home more often now.
It's almost as if we were settling down, except, of course, we're living apart still, and he takes the car home every night, usually. No, living together isn't an option, not just yet. There are many reasons to this, monetary, religion, culture, tradition… If you haven't already know, I am very conservative, and Eric is more so than me. But this isn't necessarily a bad thing of course.
Perhaps with the increased frequency of meeting each other, we've grown more attached to each other, and its true, we call each other more often now. Not just to listen to each's voice, but our conversations are more intimate, like deep discussions about personal struggles, and personal plans for the future.
Sometimes, like last night, I had dinner at his place, and because he's got an early appointment the next morning, I drive the car home. Or maybe he realizes the inconvenience of sharing a car when we live in separate homes–so today he's promised that he'll get the new car a little sooner, although I can't quite place my feelings about this. I'll admit that I quite like being chauffeured to and fro from work, and I can probably settle into this arrangement for many months to come. Or maybe what I thought was right–it's true, these little things, they place pressure in a relationship. When this arrangement first started, there were problems, and strange arguments over nothing in particular. A few weeks later, we've grown used to the inconveniences, we've argued less, I'm contented, and I'm acclimatized to this. It's not really that bad a thing after all.
Maybe somewhere in between, there lies the faintest flicker that maybe, a shared future isn't quite that ambitious after all.
November 29th, 2005 at 10:32 am
When I came to your page today, it suddenly occured to me that you are back… that you even took down your guest blogger list on the right.
When you took a break from minishorts, something was missing and the site didn’t feel the same or gave the same vibe. It was very obvious that the missing thing was you… Your guest bloggers were ok but they didn’t write the way you wrote… which is the very reason that I started reading minishorts in the first place….
November 29th, 2005 at 10:54 am
i’m hurt!! hahaa… nah kidding…
looks like someone is ready for the next phase in relationship… marriage!! woot!!
November 29th, 2005 at 11:01 am
Things are like that too between Naz and I…especially when I was working last time. He’d send me off to work and usually wait for me after work because I finish later (most of the time). Then we’d head of to his place for dinner or if my mom’s cooking then I’d be home eating with my family. I spend alot of my time at his place coz my parents are hardly home and my sisters have their own activities. During the weekend, we’d cook for lunch and just laze around at home. He lives very nearby so it’s so convenient for us to meet and all. In short, we’re very very attached since the beginning of our rship. I dun know why but it just came out natural. He talks about his work and I, sometimes about my uni stuffs, in bed during our short night nap (only if we’re too tired) before he sends me home. Lately, we’ve been planning towards a future together..you know, properties and savings and funny kids topics. We’re still young but maybe because we both look forward to the same thing..that’s why it was comfortable for us to talk about it. We talked about what we both want for our future (ocassionally mine and his as individuals). I feel like I’m actually living a married couple’s life but just not under the same roof and of course with less responsibilities (chores and other things which are minor stuffs). I mean, even the coming HK trip..we’re like sharing stuffs already to have more space to keep our shopping stuffs in the bags =P
November 29th, 2005 at 11:13 am
wait till you fight over bathroom manners
November 29th, 2005 at 11:25 am
Good for you mini.
By the way, what car is Eric getting?
November 29th, 2005 at 11:36 am
Its a good feeling to get to know someone like that isn’t it?
I think the same: Living together isn’t an option for me either.
Nice post it was…
November 29th, 2005 at 11:48 am
Enjoyed your post. Isn’t it scary sometimes when the relationship takes on a whole new level. If you don’t mind, out of curiosity, you and Eric don’t share the same religion? I’m in a similar situation of differences in religion and it seems like there’s no solution save converting!
November 29th, 2005 at 11:49 am
stargazer: we share the same religion.
November 29th, 2005 at 12:20 pm
Buaya : Bathroom manners you say? Hahahah…as in putting and putting up the toilet seats? =P
November 29th, 2005 at 1:04 pm
Or bathroom manners as in sneaking up on your while you’re showering?
November 29th, 2005 at 1:37 pm
And it is a lovely ambition. Worth doing the laundry for.
November 29th, 2005 at 1:40 pm
Relationships at times need creativity, with little bit of weird and surprise, also change of routine.
Besides having shower together here is some simple and not costly example:-
1)Take public transport (buses) instead of car to Klang for Bak Kut Teh or Seafood.
2)Ask him pack lunch box, pick you up, go and have a quick lunch together at public places such as bus stop, Park..etc.
3)Watch a movie at home. Movie both of you can’t understand the language and depend on sub- title. Preferably Hindi Love story.
4)Go to old folks homes or orphanage home, talk to the beautiful people there, preferably help to clean up the premise.
5)Go have an early 6am breakfast(suggest u go PJ A&W) .Spend an hour than off to work.
There are more..:mrgreen:kekeke…just some silly suggestion la…..I don’t know it works or not bcoz I haven’t try before.
Just my wild Imagination
November 29th, 2005 at 2:02 pm
Can I be an environmentalist here? “Buy one less car! Save the Earth!”
Why not ask the bf? If he really does shares the same feeling of intimacy with you of him being the ‘ahmad’, can ask him if he doesn’t mind not having a car? Can kill two birds with one stone. Besides, he doesn’t sound like one of those macho-men-rules-all kind of guy. Maybe he wouldn’t mind not having a car of his own at all.
November 29th, 2005 at 2:18 pm
My girlfriend is staying with me in my house with my whole family. It was like date for a few months, and then move in. It wasn’t much of a shock for my parents because she is the best girl in the world and they like her. Contrast with that one time when I was 18 and brought a girl home until midnite. Hehehe.
Anyway, staying together’s no big deal at all. We’re still us, and none of us changed. Only thing is that we care more about each other and have more fun. She is my life and I really do spend every waking hour with her.
November 29th, 2005 at 3:44 pm
Get married already!!!!
November 29th, 2005 at 4:33 pm
Moving in together IS a damn big thing! Suddenly you realise yourself being 24/7 with the same guy; you’ll probably enjoy more sex; but soon things because such norms that you don’t appreciate the little things anymore. And that’s not good.
Or maybe that’s just me.
November 29th, 2005 at 4:54 pm
You’ll experience LESS sex. Trust me on this.
November 29th, 2005 at 5:56 pm
Congratulations! The time will come soon…:smile:
November 29th, 2005 at 7:27 pm
have to agree with darryl! you get complacent, comfortable and soon, you foget why you got together in the first place! it’s frustrating!
November 29th, 2005 at 9:59 pm
Yup, I missed your posts as well. =)
November 29th, 2005 at 10:40 pm
So it’s up to you to spice things up and not just let things become a typical routine thing. That’s what that is happening in most relationships
November 30th, 2005 at 12:00 am
Don’t worry larling, mama will always love you
November 30th, 2005 at 1:21 am
[...] Minishorts asked Why Marry? two days ago. After two days, I still can’t figure out a one-liner answer. [...]
November 30th, 2005 at 9:09 am
sharing car can be good and bad. For minishorts it’s good coz closer to eric but for some the hassle of wasting time waiting here and there could be a nightmare
December 1st, 2005 at 1:41 pm
oh..make me recall back something..
my late bf used to fetch me to work on and off, but is a long journey for him, more than one hour drive in high way and cost RM15 for the toll. this only last for one month, i feel really bad about it. so i rather drive myself to work. furthermore we stay quite far away that time…
well, is not a bad idea to “car-pull” thingy..:)
good luck!
December 1st, 2005 at 4:05 pm
jo - u made ur bf sounds like he has passed away or something…