Empty nest syndrome
Now that things have settled down, and my boyfriend and my mum are speaking to each other again (and him and me being all cosy again), it's quite fun to look back on the funny things Mum said to me.
But I suppose it's a woman thing, you know, how woman can't take things as they are, literally? My mother was like that at the peak of the syndrome attack. Oh, you know, she went to my Grandma (who has heaps of experiences before her, having had 14 children of her own), and told her about her defiant daughter (that's me).
I've seen Mum do this before, and my grandma would always be saying the same old mantra, 'Dear, your daughter's all grown up already, you need to let her make her own decisions. She's got her own life to lead.'
So there. That's just a very normal line, right?
Usually Mum would nod her head and say, 'Yeah, true, I can rely on her now.'
But but but, when we argue, Mum would magically pluck my Granny's words from memory, and throw them back at me, in an odd and twisted way, 'Your grandmother also said that I shouldn't bother with you anymore because you're all grown up and you won't let me into your decisions anymore.'
Weird.
I try to remind myself, that it's just a woman thing. I've done it before too anyway. You know, the normal stuff. Thing is, the difference with Mum and I, I don't speak my grievances out loud.
Him: It's pointless to argue over this matter, we can't seem to see eye-to-eye anyway. Let's just leave this.
Me: You don't love me anymore. You don't even want to discuss things with me anymore.
Him: So what do you want to eat tonight?
Me: Why must he ask? Shouldn't he already know?
Him: OK, I'm a bit tired. Maybe I'll get home earlier tonight.
Me: He's pretending to be tired because he doesn't want to see me anymore. He's got tired of me.
Actually, Mum and me have that odd case too. My mum, however, says her interpretation of what I say outloud.
Me: Ma, I can't talk in the office for too long. My bosses will notice.
She: What kind of boss are you working for? Mother also cannot talk to meh?
Me: Ma, I'm going out for dinner with the bf's family. I'll be back later. Would you like something?
She: OK-lah, you have another family already. You don't even have to worry about my meals anymore.
There was once a classic situation, when I came back from a dinner with his family, and Mum asked a normal question, 'So was the dinner good?'
And I said, 'Yeah. His mum can cook very well. It was a great dinner.'
(I didn't mean anything bad, OK? I just didn't want her to worry.)
Mum's reply shocked me to the bones, 'I know lah, my cooking just isn't as good.'
Oh man. Tough times.
December 6th, 2005 at 4:17 pm
Wonder how we’d be like one day being parents… you know, learning to let your kids learn on their own, and let go when your kids are all grown up.
I just wonder.
December 6th, 2005 at 4:22 pm
My goodness, that is one tough woman to handle. Jealous type. Hmmm, probably bring you mom over to the dinner at ur bf’s. Let them blend in. That should work…
December 6th, 2005 at 5:17 pm
You know, I love my BF’s mom’s cooking but I NEVER mention it in front of my mom for she might think that I dun like her cooking anymore. Usually if I wanna eat what his mom cooked for me before, I’d just ask my mom whether she can cook it or not (sorta like challenge her abit…ehehhe) so at least I get to eat something I like in my own home too. I keep some things away from her because mothers can be really erm..jealous of the ‘other’ mother sometimes and feel as though the ‘other’ mother is taking her daughter away. So well, short and simple updates bout the other family is enough. Heh.
December 6th, 2005 at 6:33 pm
I tihnk in order to help the female readers, i will provide translations of what’s really being said.
Translations:
Him: It’s pointless to argue over this matter, we can’t seem to see eye-to-eye anyway. Let’s just leave this.
Me: You don’t love me anymore. You don’t even want to discuss things with me anymore.
What he’s really saying:
Let’s stop arguing, if you find out I’m right you’ll sulk and I won’t get any good loving, if you find out I’m wrong, you’ll gloat and i won’t get any good loving. So for the sake of me getting some good loving STOP ARGUING!
Him: So what do you want to eat tonight?
Me: Why must he ask? Shouldn’t he already know?
What he’s really saying:
I already know what I want. I want Pizza. What do you want so I know what to stick ont he pizza!
Him: OK, I’m a bit tired. Maybe I’ll get home earlier tonight.
Me: He’s pretending to be tired because he doesn’t want to see me anymore. He’s got tired of me.
What he’s really saying:
There’s something good on TV and I don’t want to hang out because you’ll be making comments on what the girls in the show. I don’t care if they look like skanky ho’s, or if there dress doesn’t suit them … I just want to check out their boobs without your commentry.
Remember, the male mind is very simple. It has two main aims in life - one, to eat; Two, to look at boobies.
If you are ever confused as to what a man is really after check the list. If he’s been feed, then the obvious answer is BOOBIES!
If he seems to be doin something complex which may not involve One or Two, then he’s either gone completely nuts, or he is involved in a convoluted plot to get eiter One or Two.
December 6th, 2005 at 7:01 pm
how about helping your mom to help yourself…like introducing her to new
men, i mean friends?just a thought.
December 6th, 2005 at 7:18 pm
I told my mother to stop buying shirts for me… because I’d rather buy my own and because she gets the neck/collar sizes wrong.
Next thing I know, she’s talking to her elder sister on the phone…
“He doesn’t want me to buy shirts for him anymore because he said to me, ‘Mum… I am very high class… I only want to buy high class shirts.’ ”
I was standing there… scratching my head. Anyway… these days… I just don’t bother. It’s gonna happen and keep happening.
December 6th, 2005 at 9:39 pm
oh wow. your mom is pretty insecure.
December 6th, 2005 at 10:13 pm
Haha. My mom’s like that too. A little nutty and unreasonable. The thing is I know I’ll be like that too. Soon.
December 6th, 2005 at 10:43 pm
Oh, I can relate to this so well I’m practically your brother. It’s not called empty nest syndrome, it’s called CRAZY.
December 7th, 2005 at 4:49 am
Dears, this is the only person in your entire life who will ever love and worry over you in such a way. No-one you ever meet will love you as dearly or measure themselves so precisely….enjoy it while you still can, because one day all you will have is the memory of that amazing woman who devoted her life to your well-being. You can be in love with the greatest guy or girl in the world, you can have kids yourself, and yet, you will never get the same love again.
December 7th, 2005 at 10:00 am
I foresee that once you have kids, you’ll be like your mum and you’ll think to yourself “So that’s why my mum acted that way….”
December 7th, 2005 at 6:16 pm
Other Kenny : I already feel like I’m becoming my mom and I’m only 21. It’s scary.
December 7th, 2005 at 11:10 pm
my mom toooo, she tick me off becos i like to wear mini-skirts….:sad:
December 8th, 2005 at 2:39 pm
are women put on earth to piss each other off or what?
December 8th, 2005 at 4:03 pm
david
hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa 
click on me
December 9th, 2005 at 11:38 am
Hahahah now at least we know where you get your shitty side from….I wonder if you mom get’s as irritating as you when her period or PMS sets in…