just minishorts.

I am trying to make a life out of reasoning reality, but I'm no where near there. It's like this: you're here where I am, knowing that things are different different. You look back, flip over the old pages and you saw the past: oh it was great, uniforms forced you to conform, to create equality, and equality is good, good.

I mean, it's a non-existent concept, but it is NECESSARY to make things happen.

Not that things are not happening now.

On the contrary, everything is just running all at the same time, and then you stand in your place, and watch the shadows rush past you, as you try to desperately grab a piece of the fabric that sweeps past the apples of your cheeks.

You hardly endeavour, because you know you're no where near anywhere.

…

You sit at a corner, and remember her. Who? Suddenly she's someone, amazing, famous, you see her face on TV, and you say, 'Hey, that girl's my senior. I knew her once.'

Or, it could be the other way around, you see him, someone you've snubbed, over five years ago, 'I'm sorry, you're not good enough.'

OK, you might have been kinder, 'I'm sorry but this is just not the time.'

You might have made him hope, 'I can't say yes now, but I don't know what will happen in the future.'

You shattered his dreams, you broke his heart.

Today, you find him again, photos. Connections. He's made it. Oh it's not just the qualifications, or the promising career that welcomes a brilliant future, it's also the lip-smacking six-pack abs he displays oh-so-proudly in the photos: you wonder, 'What if?'

But that 'what if' remains the invisible steps of a choice you could have taken over five years ago, except, it remains that just. A 'could-have' choice.

SO you try to stay where you are and move at your own pace, and you remind yourself, 'No. I wouldn't want it otherwise.'