Joke joke only
It's trying to attempt being light when it's not a very light topic… we have people who do not know the advantage of having thick skins over here on this side of the world. So let me tell you this: it is going to be a very lame attempt at being light, and that also because I am blardy pissed.
No. It's not that time of the month.
Some of you know that I was born and bred in Singapore. Correction. I was born in Singapore, and then brought back to Malaysia just before primary school started. Contrary to popular belief that being in Singapore would allow me a BETTER education, my parents decided that they wanted me to grow up speaking my mainland tongue too, that's Malay. Oh, yeah, and Mandarin as well.
The other thing was also the fact that my mother told me, 'I don't want you to grow up having a Singaporean mentality.'
Not like it's a very bad thing. Mum just said that she'd prefered me to have a Malaysian brought up, growing up in the 'gutters' and excitement of all the crime-infested politically messed up undignified capital of the country. And damn it, I love being Malaysian. Well, sometimes, I don't like it, and I don't like it when you know, I read about crimes lah, stupid politicians messing up our images lah, and also, stupid Malaysians making piss-asses out of themselves.
I lagi tak suka how some silly Malaysians have to go and select foreigners to rob, like the dude in here (I'm assuming the parang-welding slasher is Malaysian ok, he might not be Malaysian), because it gives opportunities to stupid Singaporeans to start a Malaysia-bashing fest.
I don't understand it, I don't understand this incessant need for Singaporeans and Malaysians to keep on comparing our lifestyles to each other. We don't do it at all with the Thais, we don't do it at all with Indonesia. OK, I suspect the people in Hongkong do compare themselves with the people from China, but hell, does it freaking matter if Chinese Chinese do better in life than Hongkong Chinese? Does it freaking matter?
So Agagooga, I hear you're a prominent blogger and you came to Malaysia not too long ago. Blardy hell I was insulted by your post you know or not! How can you say things like that. Can I quote? Oh oh oh. Here I go:
There are only 2 reasons to go to Ma-laysia - to eat and to make fun of Malaysians. The latter can be done from Singapore, and for the first, why go to Malaysia when you can wait for Malaysia to come to you? Most school holidays, Penang Hawkers come down to York Hotel, and you can enjoy their food in hygienic and comfortable conditions, all for S$25.40 (nett price).
So I very angry, today I fight you back ok?
There is only ONE REASON to go to Singapore: To visit Malaysians working in Singapore.
Then I get to show them that I have a damn fun life driving my own car and working out on my own lawn and having a room that is bigger than the average Singaporean living room. Plus even though I earn less at least I get to keep my money to myself and buy a house one day, ONE DAY! ONE DAY! Traffic jams? Ah it is all part of my life mah, a life that most of you cannot enjoy at all nyek nyek nyek.
It's so sad, because it just shows you how bad we humans are at being human at all. We keep on drawing invisible borders to surround and protect ourselves, as if it would be so ostracising to be mistaken for each other. It doesn't pay to be genuinely sincere, openly friendly to friends you have from overseas–you just have to keep reminding yourself that these are a bunch of people who will mostly define you by your nationality, and not by who you actually are as a person.
Even funnier hoh, is when people like me speak up and say, 'EH HOW CAN YOU SAY THINGS LIKE THAT ABOUT MY COUNTRY?' some bugger will gang us altogether into one lump as say, 'Malaysians very sensitive one, joke joke a bit also cannot.'
So you know, this is NOT a naughty post to talk about how stupidly kiasu Singaporeans are because they all live in pigeon holes (that get torn down every 10 years or so to make for a better housing programme), and how Singaporeans are so pigeon-cooped they think that the Food Courts they go to and have Wantan Mee drowned in Maggi Tomato Sauce is a very good imitation of Hawker food, and grin about how Singaporeans have their HOKKIEN MEE cooked in white sauce (damn it hokkien mee is hokkien mee you know what is hokkien mee or not)….or how some Singaporeans are so uppity hoh take photo in their super clean MRT station also cannot…And that they also know less swear words than I do because I can speak more languages then them (see I so crever liddat)…
Eh sorry, you Singaporean izzit? Sorry sorry, eh this one is not to talk bad about them. Don't so angry ok? Joke joke only. Huh you angry ah? Aiyah, joke joke a bit also cannot… eh eh eh don't lah pelt me with virtual tomatoes? I JOKE ONLY! Sorry sorry, joke only joke only. I only talk about a few Singaporeans only ok, not you not you. Sorry sorry, I didn't mean you. Joke joke only.
Sometimes when I go to Singapore, I love it best when people listen to me speak and ask me, 'Hey which JC did you go to how come I never seen you before?'
That's when I get to say, 'Hell no, I'm not from Singapore at all,' and then secretly I think how come-ah these people like to associate smart people as being from their little tiny island one? Then I feel happy also lah because the kiasu Singaporean who say stupid thing hoh, actually think I AM SMART! Wah, nvm he so stupid also he think I am smart.
'Then?'
'I'm from Malaysia lah. I'm just a tourist here.'
'Oh, I thought you from Singapore. You can speak Mandarin and English.'
See, stupid people exist every fucking where, not only in Malaysia and Singapore. And GAWD, it feels damn good to prove people wrong.
Add on:The mindless defense blogs on, blogs on… DAMN IT WTF WTF WTF? I don't care if you're from Malaysia, Australia, Indonesia, Singapore or (which other country rhymes with 'pore'?) If your heart was crushed by this post, I can try to appreciate your lack of humour. I had a link here aburthen hoh I think its a bit stupid to have links up lor so I'm taking this link away sorry ah… ok lah Geekgeek you are forgiven. We all not stupid.
December 20th, 2005 at 2:50 pm
Does it matter where we are from? After all, our blood is red and we experience nearly the same thing wherever we are - love, life, death, pain, betrayal, friendship, hunger, etc.
IHMO, all this constant comparisions (by that blogger highlighted in your article and countless of others who jump on the bandwagon) just speaks of insecurity on their part.
Every country has idiots, has its good and bad. If you were to begin to compare, the list would never end and you’d step on more toes (as he did - I found his remarks insulting too).
Heh.
December 20th, 2005 at 3:02 pm
…and GAWD, it feels even better to show him the middle finger.
December 20th, 2005 at 3:30 pm
Aahh…. the endless meaningless mouth battle between two countries. So entertaining… So stupidly funny… So stupid..
December 20th, 2005 at 3:48 pm
you’re surprisingly passive in this post for those unfair comments by agagooga… i like it! makes you sexier.. of course, you also sound more credible this way.
December 20th, 2005 at 3:58 pm
Singaporeans are not bad…they’re just kiasu…notice the keyword?
FEAR
Of course not all are like that lah…probably just about 99% of them…
December 20th, 2005 at 4:28 pm
Verily, I am amused.
December 20th, 2005 at 4:34 pm
Hahahahahahaha. Eh, my fambly is come from Seremban one lah. Nabeh. Chow Agagooga.
December 20th, 2005 at 4:47 pm
“Wantan Mee drowned in Maggi Tomato Sauce”- This really made me laughed out loud and all of today’s stress gone in just one laugh
There’s also maggi goreng in red char siew powder/tomato sauce murder *shudders*
December 20th, 2005 at 4:57 pm
And WHATS with the endless lines for freaking ROTI CANAI?!?!?!?!?!
December 20th, 2005 at 4:58 pm
‘… stupid people exist every fucking where …’
That’s true, I am in Australia … that proves it. Us bodoh’s are everywhere … what about the bodoh one in the White House, he so dumb lah … they’re everywhere I tell you! Bodoh’s are taking over the world … so next time someone says they are smart, they are minority, us bodoh’s will hunt them down and knock some sense out of them … um …er … maybe not!
Like I always say, the world has two sorts of people, Stupid ones, and stupid ones!
December 20th, 2005 at 4:58 pm
they call it prata lah you doink eyeris!
December 20th, 2005 at 5:33 pm
MY POINT EXACTLY!
December 20th, 2005 at 5:41 pm
Yay!! This is the best BAD blogs i ever been!! I can’t even last 1 sentence per post and now im half asleep already. Well, think of the bright side girl, at least you won something that has a word BEST in it. cheers darling:twisted:
December 20th, 2005 at 6:20 pm
Ewww, I hope the add on wasn’t because of me … I was only JOKING! Waaaah! I like you, we all friends lah. Waaaah!
December 20th, 2005 at 6:30 pm
ok, ok. That wasn’t funny at all. I made it clear it was a bad joke that has gone from bad to worse. I’ll just remove it lah auntie.
December 20th, 2005 at 6:49 pm
victor : When you choose to say something, you THINK before you say it. Take responsibility. Don’t say something and then remove it. That’s just more pathetic than saying it in the first place.
December 20th, 2005 at 6:58 pm
Vincent: I know. That’s the only post i over-did about the country. Seriously. I’ve vowed not to write anything about it already eventhough it’s a joke or something.. I sincerely apologise here. Honest.
P/S: Claire, i’m not pro-singapore also. The twin towers was initially a joke, but i kinda got abit carried away. Seriously sorry. I have bad english, so still try to improve it. Don’t so loud lah..
December 20th, 2005 at 10:35 pm
Reminds me of the time I was room hunting in Singapore and the lady thought I was Singaporean just because in her words “I don’t dress like a Malaysian”. I wanted to ask her “how does Malaysian dress like?”
You wear clothes, I also wear clothes.
December 20th, 2005 at 11:02 pm
Bangalore rhymes with pore…
does that make me smart enought to be singaporean? 
December 20th, 2005 at 11:38 pm
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December 21st, 2005 at 12:25 am
Bwahahahahaha.This one damn funny.Sorry la but u Singaporeans think ur 1 better than us.But honestly…..arent we all the same???Ok la…on second thought maybe Malaysians better huh?
December 21st, 2005 at 2:04 am
Dear Minishorts,
I never thought of you as a stupid person until i came across your rebuttal to agoogaga’s post.
You write, “There is only ONE REASON to go to Singapore: To visit Malaysians working in Singapore.”
That itself is a logical fallacy. That statement implies a second reason for Malaysians to visit Singapore: to work there.
Now, kindly take this post and its comments off your blog before the world finds out how immature some Malaysians’ remarks can be.
December 21st, 2005 at 2:10 am
er, i am singaporean and i dun visit malaysia for fear of food poisoning, becoming roadkill (ie: kenna attacked by road rages who are jealous of my expensive non-Proton. :P) and because i can never get used the wide expanse of undeveloped jungle in Malaysia (outside of KL). other than that, i believe that Malaysia is Truely Asia! the home of cheap bargains and laid-back spiritism.
cheers!
December 21st, 2005 at 4:01 am
Dear Anonymous Coward :P,
You should come to Malaysia, if not your expensive non-proton will end up going round round only loh…Wasted mah.
This is because we have road stretch for like 6-7 of your Island. You should try the feeling of driving without having to turn your ’stereng’ all the time fearing you will crush into one of the building. It’s damm syok one.
Oh by the way… how is that pee processed water? Ok ar? Must be tasty…Yum Yum…
December 21st, 2005 at 4:52 am
sentient, if you want to attack the sentence from a logical point of view, here’s one on yours.
we don’t VISIT singapore to work there, we GO there to work there. we visit singapore to visit malaysians who work there. the sentence is perfectly fine.
oh, u singaporean izzit? sorry ah, she wasn’t talking about you. joke joke only.
December 21st, 2005 at 8:56 am
vince: the victor dude deleted his entry adi. sigh…
miyagi: yah lor, chow agagooga, dont want to fren him anymore.
December 21st, 2005 at 9:00 am
sentient : it was meant to be sarcastic la…
December 21st, 2005 at 9:23 am
I am forgiven!!!
December 21st, 2005 at 10:15 am
It pisses the shit out of me when I hear singaporeans make fun of our people…. I always feel like saying “Hey… if we didn’t give you fresh water you’d be recycling your own piss by now!”.
December 21st, 2005 at 11:17 am
LOFLAROMFF!!!
The whole ‘M’sian/Spore’ thing makes me laugh and feel ashamed for fellow S’poreans sometimes.
Oei, Sin-ga-por-lang! Stop the ‘me so much greater’ sh*tz! We used to be together as Malaya British Colony once, and gained independence together to form ‘Malaysia’, until M’sia cut us out and left us on our own.
Btw, M’sia is a great place. It has great food and warm people. Believe it or not, I feel more warmth with friends from KL than the ‘I’m-so-COOL’ posers in Singapore. If they like you, you can feel it. If they don’t you will know it. Now, that is rare in Singapore. All these I learnt during my 1 year stay in KL when helping dad out with his business.
The only things S’poreans like me are not used to in M’sia are:
- Confusing/half-completed roads and congesting traffic
- Cheap cigarettes
- Lack of Maxonline 3000 (3Mbps internet)
- Clubs with people shaking their heads all the time
Other than that, we are not that different.
December 21st, 2005 at 11:46 am
the whole malaysia/singapore petty argument is pretty teh sienz.
let’s drink.
December 21st, 2005 at 12:00 pm
madder : They’re already doing that la. Never heard of newater meh?
December 21st, 2005 at 12:02 pm
Yeah great idea. Let’s go grab some beer!… only if anyone can show us a good joint when we arrive this saturday
December 21st, 2005 at 12:14 pm
ah… this is getting more and more ridiculous. yeah lah minishorts, i told you i was going to delete it. duh.. if you still want to link it, there’s still a cache in google or yahoo or msn.. i’m just sorry for what i wrote that’s all..
December 21st, 2005 at 2:45 pm
Some people should calm down … it’s all good humour.
But, it might start a nice string of jokes beginning:
Only reason to visit [insert place] is:
Only reason to visit Australia is the free Kangaroo burgers provided by a Big Mack.
Only reason to Visit USA is to see a Country that elects a President dumber than the general population.
Only reason to visit Grand Canyon is to see worlds largest land Fill.
Seeeee … it works already. What other ‘Only reason to visit’ jokes can you all think of?
Wonder what FStress joke will be on ‘Only reason to visit Korea …’ will be.
December 21st, 2005 at 6:05 pm
Haiyoh…why delete adi? My comments bukan main giler panjang there….
Anyway, Anon Coward…I dun think you’ll get food poisoning in Malaysia lah coz your body is so used to drinking recycled water already.
December 21st, 2005 at 6:31 pm
Aiyo, why so like that one….it’s history
Typical sibling war and rivalry that goes on and on…One wants to be big bro (tai ko/twa ko), and the other wants to show off…Sigh…
December 21st, 2005 at 11:44 pm
Dear Ryuu,
I’m from China. Worked in Malaysia for my company for a few years, now back in China. Thank you once again for showing the world how stupid and immature some Malaysians can be.
Eh, don’t take umbrage at all this. Like you say, “joke joke only”. I’m sure you’re not this obnoxious in real life. No, no, not at all.
Minishorts: great work on your blog so far. Keep it up!
December 22nd, 2005 at 3:37 am
Given a choice to make, I wouldnt want to live and raise kids in Singapore, the competition is cut throat, with higher salary all you can afford is HDB flat or condos, I truly believe in Singapore if you are not in elite school and in the ‘elite track’, meaning that you are from a well to do family or has straight A’s growing up, you are bred to be a pseudo slave, work long hours and live in pigeon holes. spend all your money feeding the materialistic needs that they brainwash into you.
Living in KL is not that much different but at least most educated professionals can have a decent house and 2 cars and still raise kids to have the right values. Kid’s education not as good as Singapore’s? send them to the Chinese private schools, they are as good if not better. Singaporean universities made efforts to recruit the best students from the malaysian chinese schools because they have great math and science foundation, speak chinese and then after graduation they keep them in Singapore by bonding them with free tuition. That’s a testament of the quality of education AVAILABLE in Malaysia.
or else send them abroad for college and they will end up better than any Singaporean minus the kiasu attitude.
December 22nd, 2005 at 11:59 am
Having worked with people from different countries, from Europe, Americas, and Asia, I’ve had both good and bad experiences with people from all over.
What sticks out like a sore thumb, is how frequently Singaporeans prove to be rude, kiasu, stubborn, insensitive, superiority-complexed people.
Yes there are people like that from all over the place, but generally it’s 20% arses, 80% normal.
With Singaporeans, the 80-20 rule is reversed.
Sadly, that’s how I see it.
December 22nd, 2005 at 12:15 pm
dear ron (and some of the peeps here)
this is not a competition to compare who is more stupid than the other, or who has more stupid people than the other. we’re all stupid in ways (sheesh even posting this post up was a streak of stupidity!), but well…
sometimes when it gets overdone, it borders on hilarity.
December 22nd, 2005 at 1:14 pm
I’m M’sian living in S’pore for about 4 years now. After so many disasters, I have yet to eat chow kuey teow, prawn mee, hokkien mee, wanton mee, laksa, loh mee, etc etc. When I goto the food court I know I would not be disappointed with chicken rice. Nowdays with the bird flu and stuff, it has been reduced to nasi lemak.
I missed the BEST laksa in KL, in OUG, anyone know which stall I’m talking about???????
December 22nd, 2005 at 2:12 pm
ms,
didn’t mean it as a competition, more of an observation.
but yes, there is humour when anything gets overdone.
December 22nd, 2005 at 10:29 pm
I feel ashame being a singaporean after reading some of the comments by Singaporeans over this issue. What a disgrace
December 23rd, 2005 at 12:42 pm
Hm.. But I feel that SOME OF Malaysians working here do show that they feel inferior. Like that time when i first went for my first day at work, I met this clerk, heard her accent and said,” Hey, do you happen to be from Malaysia?” She immediately blushed and asked frantically how did I find out? I mean like, what’s so embarrassing abt being from Malaysia?:???:
December 23rd, 2005 at 2:52 pm
I think Nicole, the reason why they feel inferior is because most Singaporeans they meet make them feel that way. If they weren’t looked down upon in the first place, none of this would’ve happened.
December 25th, 2005 at 12:52 am
Something must be right in Singapore if there are still Malaysians who are willing to work for years in Singapore instead of staying put in their homeland. Otherwise, you will not even have a reason to visit Singapore
And if you want to dig money in Singapore, don’t whine about Singapore.
December 25th, 2005 at 1:43 pm
I think nobody can make you feel inferior except yourself.
December 26th, 2005 at 4:16 pm
Singaporeans brag because they forgot they couldn’t afford to pay us more than 4 cents for fresh water, when even sugus has gone up from 5 cents to 10 cents each. They also forgot that their country is so small they don’t even have a single state other than the whole country itself in contrast to our 14 states so their people being so shallow and narrow minded can only think from one mindset. They also forgot they had to steal soil from Johor to tambak their own land. They forgot that their artists are apparently not known here and the ones who are actually making it big are making it big here instead of there. M Nasir don’t even want to stay in Singapore. they forgot the lands they can afford to but is in malaysia. they forgot that when most Malaysians voted for the demolishing of the Johor-Singapore link, most singaporeans begged against -much like adik2 merayu kepada abang2. They forgot they actually move their aerials to get better receptions of our tv stations. we don’t even want to watch their station. they forgot that even PCK wants fame in Malaysia. Who wants to go to Singapore for fame? they forgot that their tallest form of a hill is not much taller than a cow dung hill that they had to name it “Mount” Faber to redeem its nonexistent height. they forgot that they come to Johor on weekends to stock pile on groceries and food delicacies. they forgot many things really because they needed constant reassurance that they’re better off than us. Insecure is the best word to describe them. Best of all, they forgot that they had to drink sewage recycled water because they couldn’t afford to pay more than 4 cents for fresh water. Next time any Singaporean tells you how he feels high class being in Malaysia because the rest of the world here seem low class, and how they whine about Malaysia this and that, just give them an imaginary pat on their back and smile because deep down you know they’re nursing their wounded pride because they had to drink from their own pee. Its akin to giving way to four year olds who give tantrums. deep down you know they’re so pathetic and that the only way for them to feel better is to say something bad about others not like them, and never will be like them. Pity singaporeans, a lot of the things they don’t have that they’re trying to take it out on us. the only image they established by acting like some big shots here in Malsyia is “jakun”. But of course, they wouldn’t know that because their definition of high class means to drink from pee recycled water. eww… pity.
December 27th, 2005 at 8:22 am
actually emme, i think singaporeans brag because it’s funny to see responses from malaysians like yours. i mean, on an evil day, i might just do things like that just to illicit another emme-response liddat. wow.
December 27th, 2005 at 11:50 am
@emme
Erm, your post was probably meant to be insulting, but somehow I think the insults are just back-firing. =P
Boasting that THEY have screwed YOU by paying so little for water and stealing your soil…just makes your side look stupid.It’s like the bank manager boasting that he got robbed. =)
And there’s this thing called the Water Cycle. Well, everybody drinks from everybody else’s pee eventually. All the Singaporeans are doing are speeding up the process. So erm, yeah, Malaysians do drink from their own pee ultimately. =)
December 28th, 2005 at 11:53 am
[...] It is an apparent misunderstanding that females are more prone to flogging dead horses. [...]
December 28th, 2005 at 8:59 pm
Malaysia Vs Singapore
Malaysians and Singaporeans are forever arguing. Honestly, I think the sarcasm-filled exchange between this Malaysian and that Singaporean is silly. C’mon guys, it’s the holiday season. Lighten up. In all seriousness though, I have only this very imp…
December 28th, 2005 at 11:20 pm
MALAYSIA BOLEHHHH!
December 28th, 2005 at 11:38 pm
All I can say is.. dun do what you dun like others to do upon you to other people. As simple as that, you dun like others to talk bad abt your country. Dun do that to others. U feel bad.. others will feel bad too.
Its all just a country and a place we live. I love singapore cos this is where all my frens and family are. If one day, all of them are to move to somewhere else, I believe I will follow. Which I think most of us will.. follow where our heart are which is where our love ones go.
December 29th, 2005 at 12:53 am
fk u understand
December 29th, 2005 at 2:31 am
to sentient:
thanks for showing ther r still imbeciles like u in de world. u fall under the minority of idoits who thinks they themselves r not stupid but actually they themselves are the stupid-Dest.
de remarks u gav jus show de point tat u r conscious about ppl comment on u n retaliate in ur i-dun-care-less-cuz-u-r-stupid ways. so puhlease…get urself sum sense of humour, n most of all some respect by 1st respecting ppl.
i from malaysia…but i hav no qualms over msian ppl or malaysia.
December 29th, 2005 at 8:14 am
Well, my mum was from m’sia and my dad is a s’porean. Since young, I’ve experienced both countries’ cultures. I believe there are both good and bad points about each countries. No hard feelings:)
December 29th, 2005 at 9:21 am
windzone
i know which one u are talking about “Ah Loy Restaurant” beside the petrol station. Superb laksa hahaha, it’s been there for ages now and still just as good albeit a bit smaller due to inflation.
Anyhow, back to the issue of sg vs m’sia, what’s there to argue, we’re all flesh and blood, we all need to eat and drink.
I have nothing against sgporeans, in fact i have quite a number of sg friends too.
It just takes tolerance from both sides to make ends meet.
Cheers have fun and Happy New Year
December 29th, 2005 at 9:52 am
This is a dead horse. It’s overdone, and was posted on the 20th of December. That was over a week ago. I’m closing the comments.