just minishorts.

I would think that most girls have to go through this, as in, this horridly silly thing of sitting down with your mother (or father, or auntie, or uncle, or grandpa, or grandma, or very concerned older family member) and having THAT stupid chat about when's the time, when's the time.

Eh don't play-play ok, this is not really stupid to them, it's seriously a very serious thing, because it's so obvious that achelly they're being very very concerned with you.

I'm going to take my mum as a prime example, she knows perfectly well I have a blog, she knows I roll my eyes over this conversation all the time. And she knows I HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT everytime she comes down on me this way, BUT BUT BUT she still does it anyway. You know, the one, where the mother goes, 'Eh I want to talk to you about this guy.'

And I go, 'What now?'

And she goes, 'You know? Are you being serious or not?'

'Uh. Should be lah. He's still the same guy right?'
'You better be, otherwise you shouldn't be going out with him. Think about it carefully ok?'

And then I go, 'OK,' and try to get busy doing something, like read the papers or press the buttons on the remote control. Cannot just walk away one, walk away means you're being rude, ok?

Then Mum will go, 'You cannot lose it you know.'

Then you frown and say, 'YES. YES. YES.'

Then she goes, 'You know what 'yes yes yes', you know what I'm talking about or not?'

'What? I know lah I know lah. We've spoken about this so many times.'
'Yes you cannot be so stupid to lose it ok? When you lose it you got nothing left.'

KNNCB or not I ask you? I nod, vehemently, because it's a pointless place where I'm coming from. Might as well let her get it out of her system, it happens all the time anyway.

'You are a girl you know. You only have that.'

Shit or not. How traditional can you get? Gah.

'So you when you lose you got nothing left.'
'YES, YES, YES.'
'What you mean yes? Do you know what I'm saying?'
'Yes, ma. Don't worry, ma. I have not done anything I should not do with him. I'm not so stupid.'
'I know you very stupid one.'
'…'
'You sure lose it already. Haiyah, what to do now. You cannot be so stupid lah.'
'?!'
'You don't do anything stupid ok? Must keep it. Then you must think about it. Is it for real or not.'
'Yes.'

And then, her eyes will dart to THAT part of my body, the part where my pants join. My aunt's even funnier, her forefinger will keep on pointing to that part there, like it's some sort of weird specimen that I have to keep attached all the time otherwise I will turn stupid.

'If not for real you must let go of it ok? Don't want to hurt him. Eh don't be so stupid ok?'
'Yes.'
'Eh. You don't yes me so many times ok. I know you sure lose it already.'
'NO… I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING THAT YOU HAVE NOT ALLOWED ME TO DO. OK I WANNA WATCH TV.'
'Haiyoh. I'm being serious here.'
'OK. Watch TV. TV.'

I can try to convince these overconcerned people to concentrate on the real entertainment, but it hardly works. Blardy conversation repeats itself several times a month. Sometimes, a few times a day, if you're meeting many relatives at one go. And now that Christmas is near, and soon Chinese New Year too, with all the relatives coming (or me going to see them), I'm going to see a lot of darting eyes. GAH!!