just minishorts.

We did this not once, but several times, in several places. I felt like doing it again. But really, why?

Because He made it His word.
Because my parents showed me what it was like to be so.
Because an MID told me he loved me, and I believed him . Never mind that he broke my heart a few years later.
Because it feels good to love, whether or not it is returned.
Because it's infinite and unmeasurable.
Because you can't really define it. Like, what is it?
Because it isn't something you can control.
Because, like, love makes the world go round!
Because I got sick of criminal-wannabes kicking up a fuss and asking me 'Was that me you were talking about?' Like, no. Hell. Maybe. Who cares? I love you anyway so rest easy in that.
Because it isn't a constant, and you've got to work at it.
Because it's also very confusing, and you're not sure whether love is really love, really.
Because its better to hate and incite hate, so love and spread love? (Corny, but true, ya?)
Because someone called me up one day, and asked if he could take me out to dinner.
Because he told me that we would have many more years of argueing and making up ahead of us, so I'd better get used to it. If that's not love I don't know what it is.
Because I actually, really, really like working at this current one. It's an enjoyable adventure.

And then maybe, because it's Christmas, that's why.

I would think that most girls have to go through this, as in, this horridly silly thing of sitting down with your mother (or father, or auntie, or uncle, or grandpa, or grandma, or very concerned older family member) and having THAT stupid chat about when's the time, when's the time.

Eh don't play-play ok, this is not really stupid to them, it's seriously a very serious thing, because it's so obvious that achelly they're being very very concerned with you.

I'm going to take my mum as a prime example, she knows perfectly well I have a blog, she knows I roll my eyes over this conversation all the time. And she knows I HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT everytime she comes down on me this way, BUT BUT BUT she still does it anyway. You know, the one, where the mother goes, 'Eh I want to talk to you about this guy.'

And I go, 'What now?'

And she goes, 'You know? Are you being serious or not?'

'Uh. Should be lah. He's still the same guy right?'
'You better be, otherwise you shouldn't be going out with him. Think about it carefully ok?'

And then I go, 'OK,' and try to get busy doing something, like read the papers or press the buttons on the remote control. Cannot just walk away one, walk away means you're being rude, ok?

Then Mum will go, 'You cannot lose it you know.'

Then you frown and say, 'YES. YES. YES.'

Then she goes, 'You know what 'yes yes yes', you know what I'm talking about or not?'

'What? I know lah I know lah. We've spoken about this so many times.'
'Yes you cannot be so stupid to lose it ok? When you lose it you got nothing left.'

KNNCB or not I ask you? I nod, vehemently, because it's a pointless place where I'm coming from. Might as well let her get it out of her system, it happens all the time anyway.

'You are a girl you know. You only have that.'

Shit or not. How traditional can you get? Gah.

'So you when you lose you got nothing left.'
'YES, YES, YES.'
'What you mean yes? Do you know what I'm saying?'
'Yes, ma. Don't worry, ma. I have not done anything I should not do with him. I'm not so stupid.'
'I know you very stupid one.'
'…'
'You sure lose it already. Haiyah, what to do now. You cannot be so stupid lah.'
'?!'
'You don't do anything stupid ok? Must keep it. Then you must think about it. Is it for real or not.'
'Yes.'

And then, her eyes will dart to THAT part of my body, the part where my pants join. My aunt's even funnier, her forefinger will keep on pointing to that part there, like it's some sort of weird specimen that I have to keep attached all the time otherwise I will turn stupid.

'If not for real you must let go of it ok? Don't want to hurt him. Eh don't be so stupid ok?'
'Yes.'
'Eh. You don't yes me so many times ok. I know you sure lose it already.'
'NO… I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING THAT YOU HAVE NOT ALLOWED ME TO DO. OK I WANNA WATCH TV.'
'Haiyoh. I'm being serious here.'
'OK. Watch TV. TV.'

I can try to convince these overconcerned people to concentrate on the real entertainment, but it hardly works. Blardy conversation repeats itself several times a month. Sometimes, a few times a day, if you're meeting many relatives at one go. And now that Christmas is near, and soon Chinese New Year too, with all the relatives coming (or me going to see them), I'm going to see a lot of darting eyes. GAH!!

Even if you want to be outspoken, you choose the things you want to say, and say the nice things only. Keep the bad things to yourself. Even better if you don't say anything at all.

What's your version?

Tonnes of things I have to do..

There are just tonnes and tonnes of things that I have to do, that are YET to be done. Oh oh oh I'm so so so left behind, and mind you I do not usually do this anymore (record things to be done on my blog) but because I seem to put things off a lot, this just has to be put down. In a list of sorts.

1) Need to iron the pile of clothes from last week
2) Clean up my desk, it's been a mess for a few months
3) Watch Narnia, then King Kong, then Perhaps Love
4) Get that Rice Rhapsody and SPL DVD for Mum.
5) Fix the DVD machine before the potluck for the Varsity bunch.
6) Photocopy the carolling sheets.
7) Select the clothes to wear to the S'pore trip (yes yes I'm going to S'pore)
Buy our tickets to JB by the end of this week.
9) Clean out the old clothes from my cupboard.
10) Send the groceries to the orphanage down the road.
11) Fix up the bed before the mattress arrives.
12) The bills! The bills! Gah!
13) Get the pressies for the party…
14) Charge the batteries for the party…
15) Prepare a budget for the S'pore trip.
16) Plan the meeting times for friends in S'pore.
17) Wash, polish, wax the car…

Like so many things to do before 2006 falls on me! HOW TO DO HOW TO DO HOW TO DO?? ARGGGGGHHHHH!!

It's trying to attempt being light when it's not a very light topic… we have people who do not know the advantage of having thick skins over here on this side of the world. So let me tell you this: it is going to be a very lame attempt at being light, and that also because I am blardy pissed.

No. It's not that time of the month.

Some of you know that I was born and bred in Singapore. Correction. I was born in Singapore, and then brought back to Malaysia just before primary school started. Contrary to popular belief that being in Singapore would allow me a BETTER education, my parents decided that they wanted me to grow up speaking my mainland tongue too, that's Malay. Oh, yeah, and Mandarin as well.

The other thing was also the fact that my mother told me, 'I don't want you to grow up having a Singaporean mentality.'

Not like it's a very bad thing. Mum just said that she'd prefered me to have a Malaysian brought up, growing up in the 'gutters' and excitement of all the crime-infested politically messed up undignified capital of the country. And damn it, I love being Malaysian. Well, sometimes, I don't like it, and I don't like it when you know, I read about crimes lah, stupid politicians messing up our images lah, and also, stupid Malaysians making piss-asses out of themselves.

I lagi tak suka how some silly Malaysians have to go and select foreigners to rob, like the dude in here (I'm assuming the parang-welding slasher is Malaysian ok, he might not be Malaysian), because it gives opportunities to stupid Singaporeans to start a Malaysia-bashing fest.

I don't understand it, I don't understand this incessant need for Singaporeans and Malaysians to keep on comparing our lifestyles to each other. We don't do it at all with the Thais, we don't do it at all with Indonesia. OK, I suspect the people in Hongkong do compare themselves with the people from China, but hell, does it freaking matter if Chinese Chinese do better in life than Hongkong Chinese? Does it freaking matter?

So Agagooga, I hear you're a prominent blogger and you came to Malaysia not too long ago. Blardy hell I was insulted by your post you know or not! How can you say things like that. Can I quote? Oh oh oh. Here I go:

There are only 2 reasons to go to Ma-laysia - to eat and to make fun of Malaysians. The latter can be done from Singapore, and for the first, why go to Malaysia when you can wait for Malaysia to come to you? Most school holidays, Penang Hawkers come down to York Hotel, and you can enjoy their food in hygienic and comfortable conditions, all for S$25.40 (nett price).

So I very angry, today I fight you back ok?

There is only ONE REASON to go to Singapore: To visit Malaysians working in Singapore.

Then I get to show them that I have a damn fun life driving my own car and working out on my own lawn and having a room that is bigger than the average Singaporean living room. Plus even though I earn less at least I get to keep my money to myself and buy a house one day, ONE DAY! ONE DAY! Traffic jams? Ah it is all part of my life mah, a life that most of you cannot enjoy at all nyek nyek nyek.

It's so sad, because it just shows you how bad we humans are at being human at all. We keep on drawing invisible borders to surround and protect ourselves, as if it would be so ostracising to be mistaken for each other. It doesn't pay to be genuinely sincere, openly friendly to friends you have from overseas–you just have to keep reminding yourself that these are a bunch of people who will mostly define you by your nationality, and not by who you actually are as a person.

Even funnier hoh, is when people like me speak up and say, 'EH HOW CAN YOU SAY THINGS LIKE THAT ABOUT MY COUNTRY?' some bugger will gang us altogether into one lump as say, 'Malaysians very sensitive one, joke joke a bit also cannot.'

So you know, this is NOT a naughty post to talk about how stupidly kiasu Singaporeans are because they all live in pigeon holes (that get torn down every 10 years or so to make for a better housing programme), and how Singaporeans are so pigeon-cooped they think that the Food Courts they go to and have Wantan Mee drowned in Maggi Tomato Sauce is a very good imitation of Hawker food, and grin about how Singaporeans have their HOKKIEN MEE cooked in white sauce (damn it hokkien mee is hokkien mee you know what is hokkien mee or not)….or how some Singaporeans are so uppity hoh take photo in their super clean MRT station also cannot…And that they also know less swear words than I do because I can speak more languages then them (see I so crever liddat)…

Eh sorry, you Singaporean izzit? Sorry sorry, eh this one is not to talk bad about them. Don't so angry ok? Joke joke only. Huh you angry ah? Aiyah, joke joke a bit also cannot… eh eh eh don't lah pelt me with virtual tomatoes? I JOKE ONLY! Sorry sorry, joke only joke only. I only talk about a few Singaporeans only ok, not you not you. Sorry sorry, I didn't mean you. Joke joke only.

Sometimes when I go to Singapore, I love it best when people listen to me speak and ask me, 'Hey which JC did you go to how come I never seen you before?'

That's when I get to say, 'Hell no, I'm not from Singapore at all,' and then secretly I think how come-ah these people like to associate smart people as being from their little tiny island one? Then I feel happy also lah because the kiasu Singaporean who say stupid thing hoh, actually think I AM SMART! Wah, nvm he so stupid also he think I am smart.

'Then?'
'I'm from Malaysia lah. I'm just a tourist here.'
'Oh, I thought you from Singapore. You can speak Mandarin and English.'

See, stupid people exist every fucking where, not only in Malaysia and Singapore. And GAWD, it feels damn good to prove people wrong.

Add on:The mindless defense blogs on, blogs on… DAMN IT WTF WTF WTF? I don't care if you're from Malaysia, Australia, Indonesia, Singapore or (which other country rhymes with 'pore'?) If your heart was crushed by this post, I can try to appreciate your lack of humour. I had a link here aburthen hoh I think its a bit stupid to have links up lor so I'm taking this link away sorry ah… ok lah Geekgeek you are forgiven. We all not stupid.