just minishorts.

That actually took way faster than I thought it would, considering the theme itself is way more complex than I thought it would be. But the naughty important parts are done and the rest can be tweaked at my leisure.

If there are any bugs spotted, praises you like to give or you have way too much time on your hands, just leave a comment here.

Happy Chinese New Year everyone.

Alright, here is the plan. Since Minishorts is on a well deserved CNY break. She thought it would be a good idea to spruce up the place a bit with the New Year and all. At the same time, I thought it would be a good idea to do something and not completely bore myself to death during the CNY holidays. It's funny how things work out.

Anyway, over the next few days, there will be quite a lot of changes to Minishorts.net. A little upgrade here, sprinkle a theme over there then toss it with a bunch of modifications on a whole and you have yourself a Yee Sang of a blog.

There might be some issues ahead as the blog is being tweaked so bear with the site ok? I can't just take the entire site down while I update and there will be periods whereby it might not look right at all. So please try (very very hard) and refrain from commenting about the layout until it's actually done…unless it's a bug that has been there for a long time that I didn't fix immediately

That being said, let's get right to it. New Year's doesn't last forever and neither does Minishorts' vacation.

This are photos from last year's CNY celebrations.

Here are the things I really like about Chinese New Year:

1) I'm forever a kid back at the kampong. No one treats me like I'm over 20 at all, and I get to play tag with the children as if I were 12 again.
2) The angpaus! I've got 13 aunties and uncles on my Mum's side. It's going to be a hoot!
3) The food… Kota Bahru has the best Thai food selection in Malaysia, ever! Plus the nasi kukus, nasi dagang, nasi kerabu and laksam are cheap and authentic. And my aunt cooks the best chilli crabs ever! My other aunt makes gorgeous tangkuey chicken and my mom makes the best stewed pork trotter in the world.
4) The fireworks and firecrackers… he he he… my grandmother's house is so far away from town and most houses, we won't really disturb anyone when we let them off.
5) The gambling. Wahahaha…. really, really can't wait. *Crosses fingers and hopes that I've got good money luck this year.*
6) I don't have to work… it's an entire week off. I work in Selangor so I need to take Thursday and Friday off to make the break last 10, stressless days. Wilayah people have it even better, Friday's the only day they've to work next week.
7) My cousins… my youngest cousin will be five this year and he is SOOOOOO CUTE (see photo above). Can't wait to pinch his cheeks…
The lion dances… my eldest auntie has a big-ass CNY open house on Day 1 every single year. And they get the local lion dance troupe to head over to add to the festivities. Later in a day usually the lion dance troupe will head to my granny's house. NOTHING like having a lion in your own house, I tell you.
9) Finally, I take a week-long sabbatical from Eric the crab-slayer (but next year he's coming with me to KB too), and more importantly, I get to stop blogging for an entire week!

GONG XI FA CAI!! Blessings of prosperity to everyone! Have fun!

I've stumbled upon this site today with a fantastic collection of Nativity decoratives that gives you the creeps sometimes, but usually pretty hilarious. So I got hooked, and decided to go to ebay to check out more.

Errr… this is like freaky scary, alright? I know it's frosted glass and all that, but it's just not right.

Say, was Jesus born in a stable, or an igloo already?

Ooh, Jesus was an egg. A blue one at that.

Miniature coffins, anyone?

This family ought to be kinder than the one Goldilocks encountered.

And they've got like, beady eyes.

I swear, I didn't know Jesus was a chick. Really.

Sometimes, it's the wtf things you find on the Net that make your day. Maybe some of you can point and shoot some wtf CNY memorabilias?

Image taken from Helloziyi.us.

Eric and I caught Memoirs of a Geisha a week back. I'd do a review of the show but then again, reviews just aren't my cup of tea yah, and btw, I thought the show was entertaining, and Michelle Yeoh is so pretty there (for her age she's damn hot, okay?).

So anyway there's this part where Dr Crab (Randall Duk Kim, the Keymaker in The Matrix Reloaded) successfully bids for Sayuri's mizuage. The night where he gets to enjoy his prize, we see the dirty old man earnestly and carefully preparing the bed. He lays out the sheets (all white), and there's a thin piece of white muslin that he lays in the middle. And oh, btw, in cantonese, Dr Crab is translated literally as 'Hai Yi Sang', which sounds freaking crude to me.

After the show, I spoke to Eric about it, 'Eh some old Asian families can be pretty fervent about their sons marrying virgins hoh. Many Chinese films have shown the son getting a piece of white cloth to put on the bed on his wedding night.'

Eric said, 'Yeah mah. When cherries pop, juices should flow.'

'Eh, not all virgins have hymens that are unbroken ok? It's not right. I mean, if hoh, I don't bleed, are you going to say that I've done it? That's like so not true ok? Everyone knows that the bleeding virgin is a myth.'

He grinned, 'Anyway I think that's why the term "popping her cherry" came to be lah. Its how the hymen tears and the juices flow, it's about the blood flowing.'

Crapper. Then I said, 'It's stupid if you ask me. Not all virgins bleed, and YOU KNOW IT. That's a damn stupid practice. So if the cloth comes clean, Sayuri's done it lah. Cacat like hell. If I ever marry you and you get that piece of cloth… I'll… I'll…'

'Hehe… actually hoh, I'm not so silly lah dear, so you don't have to worry.'
'You do?'
'Yeah, I think hoh, preserved cherries don't bleed.'
'Uh?'
'Yeah, technically, most preserved fruit is dried, dry-dry like dried prune like that.'
'And your point is?'
'So if you're damn-well preserved, you won't be able to pop at all, there won't even be a popping sound. No juice either. Nothing red to see. It will be DRY DRY-one.'

'….'

So just a while ago when Agagooga messaged to ask me why my comment on MSN was 'Cherries don't always bleed when popped', I told him about Eric's take on the cherry.

Then he came up with this other theory, 'Rotten cherries don't bleed either.'

Which obviously isn't true lah, and I told him so, because they do, rotten cherries ooze yucky juices. And they do so on their own. They don't even wait for anyone to do the popping job. After rotting for a bit, they just pop. And their juices just flow out liddat. All by themselves.

I'll never look at a cherry in the same way. Ever.