When is the time right?
Jan 12, 2006 in Diary-writer
Oh the pain's gone, so no worries about that. Couldn't reply to the messages because I was busy checking out some other stuff. But I'm fine.
I just popped by to talk about the other news I found out. A very close friend told us last night that he was planning to get married at the end of the year. He told me this during the New Year celebrations and at that time, I was rather shocked. After all, they've only been dating since October last year.
And then I remembered, she's 27, he's 28, they're of course, of marriageable age. Since they're in love with each other, marriage is the obvious next step.
I think about relationships and what they mean to us at different points of times in our lives. I have friends who've been together for over 15 years and finally got married just recently. And then here's a pair who's only been going out for less than a year, and deciding to tie the knot at the end of 2006.
Obviously the difference was this: for the former couple, they started dating when they were only 14. Tying the knot 15 years later makes complete sense, doesn't it? You can't very well tie the knot after 6 months when you're only 14 years old, you won't be financially independant, and your maturity might not be at an ideal level, right?
I guess when you start off as high school sweethearts at the age of 16 or so, being together prior to a marriage probably entails several years of getting used to each other and finally deciding 'you're it'. But when the biological clocks start to tick, around the age of 27 to 35, love takes on a new definition, and it really isn't that strange to see people getting hitched after just a few months or a few weeks of being together.
After all, do you really need to be in a relationship for at least two years to decide whether the other person is ready for it?
It came to my attention that some people think that I am waiting for Eric to pop the question, I mean, after all, we've been together for about one year plus, and in a relationship that has its ups and downs, I'd like to think that this is one of my most serious and matured relationships ever.
Well, yes, and no. I'd say this, I think I'd be very, very, very flattered if my boyfriend does suddenly get down on his knees, so to speak, and ask if I'd like to spend the rest of my life together with him.
But if that scenario really happens tonight, I'm not quite sure how I'll react to it. I don't think I'll be jumping at the proposal in joy and saying yes immediately, and then rush online to gush about how Eric's proposed (finally!). You see, as much as I do dream of spending my life together with him forever, for now, there are so many things for me to consider: career, education, and money of course. Even if he did propose to me tonight, we'd probably need at least two to three years of saving up to be able to start our own family together.
The ultimate question remains this: at 25, am I really ready to be married and have a family of my own?
Besides, I'd like to have some time to let the new realities of life sink in around me first, and that is something that I have to do on my own. That's not to say that I don't feel the pressures building up around me yet, after all, many people around me are settling down with families of their own. Amongst girlfriends my age, our conversations revolve around how our partners are treating us, and the excitement and anticipation of wondering 'what's up for the next date'. We share and confide in each other in strangely petty issues, and blow tiny molehills out of proportion, because our fears are real, our concerns are real, our feelings for that special someone are real. We're all in love, and that's a joyfully right ingredient in the formula for relationship success.
Yet at the end of the day, am I ready yet?
I considered that question last night, whilst trying to push away the slight discomfort of 'OMG OMG OMG they're getting married before I do', and then I had to be utterly honest with myself. The problem with me now is just this: I not ready at all. Life has just begun for me, and I haven't really quite learnt how to live it alone, yet!
Life? I'm just living it today, and while Mum's constant strange questioning of, 'So is this guy the right one?' occasionally causes me to throw little fits, I'm still learning how to make it in the world alone, and I intend to do a bit of that for a while before deciding to take the plunge.