Not all cherries pop
Image taken from Helloziyi.us.
Eric and I caught Memoirs of a Geisha a week back. I'd do a review of the show but then again, reviews just aren't my cup of tea yah, and btw, I thought the show was entertaining, and Michelle Yeoh is so pretty there (for her age she's damn hot, okay?).
So anyway there's this part where Dr Crab (Randall Duk Kim, the Keymaker in The Matrix Reloaded) successfully bids for Sayuri's mizuage. The night where he gets to enjoy his prize, we see the dirty old man earnestly and carefully preparing the bed. He lays out the sheets (all white), and there's a thin piece of white muslin that he lays in the middle. And oh, btw, in cantonese, Dr Crab is translated literally as 'Hai Yi Sang', which sounds freaking crude to me.
After the show, I spoke to Eric about it, 'Eh some old Asian families can be pretty fervent about their sons marrying virgins hoh. Many Chinese films have shown the son getting a piece of white cloth to put on the bed on his wedding night.'
Eric said, 'Yeah mah. When cherries pop, juices should flow.'
'Eh, not all virgins have hymens that are unbroken ok? It's not right. I mean, if hoh, I don't bleed, are you going to say that I've done it? That's like so not true ok? Everyone knows that the bleeding virgin is a myth.'
He grinned, 'Anyway I think that's why the term "popping her cherry" came to be lah. Its how the hymen tears and the juices flow, it's about the blood flowing.'
Crapper. Then I said, 'It's stupid if you ask me. Not all virgins bleed, and YOU KNOW IT. That's a damn stupid practice. So if the cloth comes clean, Sayuri's done it lah. Cacat like hell. If I ever marry you and you get that piece of cloth… I'll… I'll…'
'Hehe… actually hoh, I'm not so silly lah dear, so you don't have to worry.'
'You do?'
'Yeah, I think hoh, preserved cherries don't bleed.'
'Uh?'
'Yeah, technically, most preserved fruit is dried, dry-dry like dried prune like that.'
'And your point is?'
'So if you're damn-well preserved, you won't be able to pop at all, there won't even be a popping sound. No juice either. Nothing red to see. It will be DRY DRY-one.'
'….'
So just a while ago when Agagooga messaged to ask me why my comment on MSN was 'Cherries don't always bleed when popped', I told him about Eric's take on the cherry.
Then he came up with this other theory, 'Rotten cherries don't bleed either.'
Which obviously isn't true lah, and I told him so, because they do, rotten cherries ooze yucky juices. And they do so on their own. They don't even wait for anyone to do the popping job. After rotting for a bit, they just pop. And their juices just flow out liddat. All by themselves.
I'll never look at a cherry in the same way. Ever.
January 25th, 2006 at 4:48 pm
okaayyy………..u got me thinking there.
hmm……anyone knows if a 40 year old virgin cherry ever pop??
January 25th, 2006 at 4:55 pm
if virgin ride bicycle everyday, there’s a big chance that her hymen has already torn…
dry dry cherrie like prune liddat….. ahhahahahhaa.. your boyfriend sure have unique point of view……
January 25th, 2006 at 5:12 pm
WOW!! SO HAPY!
i get mentioned so many times in this post.. lol
heres one.. “Eric said, ‘Yeah mah. When cherries pop, juices should flow.’”
pop.. popping… popped… ahh.. smashpOp
January 25th, 2006 at 5:23 pm
I have an orgasm everytime the word ’swift’ is used too.
January 25th, 2006 at 6:14 pm
Oh. Ew..arghh..
January 25th, 2006 at 6:27 pm
hahaha…ur bf comments crack me up…
January 25th, 2006 at 7:18 pm
um.. i just watched the movie yesterday, and i was wondering what the white muslin was for. i just thought it was some kind of ritual.:oops:
speaking of Michelle Yeoh… i blurted a “Malaysia Boleh” after the movies to my friends. hehe.
January 25th, 2006 at 7:28 pm
I think you were in a god mood or your dear won’t have gone off that easily. I mean you could have gone : “What do you mean preserved?” “like old maid, is that it?”
Hope I didn’t start a war
January 25th, 2006 at 8:06 pm
If his family is so hard on the virginity liddat, just bring a bottle of tomato sauce into the bedroom lah.
January 25th, 2006 at 8:12 pm
All I can say is, most women don’t bleed now.
January 25th, 2006 at 9:06 pm
http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2006/1/19/lifeliving/13076355&sec=lifeliving
January 25th, 2006 at 9:07 pm
The next thing you know, you need a certificate to prove that you are a virgin.
Sirim chop. Sah!
January 25th, 2006 at 10:50 pm
if you’ve done sports, chances are your hymen’s already broken.
January 25th, 2006 at 11:38 pm
*Agrees with the sports+cherry*
I wonder if you eat cherries while doing sports whether it will preserve your… cherry. *Runs*
January 26th, 2006 at 12:46 am
wahahahahahaha… this is jus plain hillarious. u hav brought popping cherries to a new height.
January 26th, 2006 at 10:12 am
Meh? Didn’t spill water this time kah? *runs*
January 26th, 2006 at 10:32 am
I like cherries. They taste nice.
January 26th, 2006 at 11:07 am
YEAH…I told Naz that Michelle Yeoh looked so sweet and pretty in there. I was like. Wow…
January 26th, 2006 at 3:42 pm
[...] i don’t normally read being minishorts very often, but this post titled “Not all cherries pop” was like really calling out to be blogged about. reading it reminded me about how i always insist that girls mount Pooters in a certain way when i pillion them. [...]
January 26th, 2006 at 5:17 pm
darn it, now i can’t take cherries anymore without thinking about…
January 26th, 2006 at 5:44 pm
virginity is way overrated, in female.
January 26th, 2006 at 10:31 pm
information WAY overload.
January 26th, 2006 at 10:50 pm
[...] i don’t normally read being minishorts very often, but this post titled “Not all cherries pop” was like really calling out to be blogged about. reading it reminded me about how i always insist that girls mount Pooters in a certain way when i pillion them. [...]
January 29th, 2006 at 2:09 am
dicks = cherry stalks?
tie cherry stalk with your tongue = good at fellatio?
January 29th, 2006 at 3:37 pm
LOL! Eric’s way of seeing a cherry (dried cherry too) is just sooooo….err….farney!
March 15th, 2006 at 4:10 pm
What the hell. I can’t believe Chinese men would be such dickheads. For real, who gives a rat’s ass if a girl is a virgin or not. I bet you all these bastard guys have screwed their share of hookers, other men’s wives, and other men’s hairy buttcracks! I hate cultures that expect a woman to meet some ridiculous standard while the men pretty much can do whatever they want. I think if a man can be a f’n whore, a woman has every right to enjoy herself just as much without being treated like crap. Everyone expects their woman to be a virgin? What about the f’n man? Total BULL! I don’t give a FUCK if a girl has had sex before. I think the REAL reason anyone would want a girl to be a virgin is because they lack confidence. I mean, if you totally suck ass at sex, then you WANT a girl who has nothing better than your pathetic tiny dick to compare with, right? I want a girl who knows what’s going on! Screw anyone who lets their respect for a woman hinge on her virginity!
August 8th, 2007 at 11:42 am
Golden Boy, your derogatory statements toward Chinese men is laughably ingnorant. The Pan-Asian Male is hardly the first, last, or only race to “demand” “their” women to be virgins. I don’t know how long you’ve been alive, but it was hardly half a century ago that ‘proper’ women growing up in the U.S. not only were expected to be chaste before marriage, but they had to conform to a certain religion and ubringing. I realize you may have grown up in a super liberal household but it seems that today, the image of a father coming after his daughter’s “suitor” with a shotgun evokes laughs not just for its apparent unbelievability, but also because fo how close it hits home. Leave your racial generalizations at the door and join the 21st century, boy.