Ignoring respect
I've almost resigned to the fact that some people are born insensitive and there's just no way to tell them that it's rude to be insensitive. Some of these would of course fight to the death for that oxymoron called 'freedom of speech', but I shall not talk about that issue for now.
After all, the things I share are usually very personal… because I want to remember them… some of these make me cringe, like the one I'm about to relate, but maybe somewhere along the way I've been quite rude to people of other faiths and beliefs as well, but pardon me. I've come to notice also that when confronted, people who're insensitive to other people's beliefs also get crazily anal when someone questions their own beliefs, so it becomes a neverending battle for the right to express an opinion.
But I've digressed and we shall talk about yee sang.
If you didn't know, the Chinese in South East Asia toss the raw fish salad during Chinese New Year for luck and prosperity. Some time along the years, it became a tradition for the yee sang to be served on the seventh day of Chinese New Year, a day that is generally recognized to be the day when Man was created by the goddess Nuwa. Hence, 'Yan Yat'.
That day, the group of us were of different ethnic groups. Some of them, surprise, surprise, did not know what Yee Sang was, not even after spending some 30 years in Malaysia. But never mind that, we thought it would be nice to bring our non-Chinese friends out to a restaurant to try the dish.
It wasn't that easy. The first, (let's call her K, for convenience's sake), was adverse to raw food–she'd never fancied sashimi or sushi, and when she heard the translation for yee sang to be 'Raw Fish Salad', she scowled.
I mean to say that she crunched her face up into an ugly mess, and went, 'Yuck. I hate raw fish. Blerk… disgusting. Yuck yuck yuck.'
My Malay friend raised a knowing eyebrow at me, and so I assured K, 'That's all right, we can go for vegetarian yee sang.'
K was still going on with the scowling and 'bleh-ing'. 'Disgusting lah, how can you eat things like that.'
You'd want to excuse people for being rude, you know, and I can't very well go and burn her house because she's rude, so we decided to persuade her the best we could… so after about 15 minutes of encouraging and assuring that the dish would not include any fish at all, she reluctantly agreed…
At the restaurant, we realized another friend (let's call her D), was did not know how to use chopsticks at all. When the Yee Sang came, she looked lost when we gave her a pair of chopsticks to use.
'But I've never used them in my life before.'
Her close friend said, 'D you must learn. Yee Sang must be tossed with chopsticks.'
'This is stupid. How can you use sticks to eat?' Then she sat there, refusing to take the chopsticks. Everyone was standing.
We told her she could use the fork, and then she went, 'Don't want lah. You guys have fun lah.'
We had to beg her to take the pair, and when finally she stood up, she looked so reluctant, I wished we didn't ask her out at all.
After tossing the salad, K said, 'Wow, it's amazing that something so ugly can taste so nice. Haha.'
I don't know what's worse, being ignorant, or being ignorant of being ignorant. You tell me.
February 6th, 2006 at 12:40 pm
I find the fact that they are NOT sterile to be shocking. Can you imagine people like that breeding and teaching little copies of themselves? *shudders with fear*
Hm…I wonder what their parents actually taught them when they were growing up.
An even more scary part is this: a while back, if you said “you have no kah-kau” (loosely translated as “parental teaching/guidance”) to someone, they would be shocked to the bone and ashamed. These days, they scoff and walk away without a care in the world.
February 6th, 2006 at 12:57 pm
It’s sometimes the mentality of people that is hard to influence.
I quote from you: -
I don’t know what’s worse, being ignorant, or being ignorant of being ignorant. You tell me.
I chose the latter.
February 6th, 2006 at 1:09 pm
Some ppl seem pretty hopeless. I mean, they could at least have respect and courtesy! I think being ignorant as well as being ignorant of being ignorant is just as bad!
February 6th, 2006 at 1:21 pm
This entry of yours reminds me of an ex-colleague who doesn’t know the meaning of ‘halal’. He thought non-pork meat means halal meat. That is, if it’s chicken, beef or lamb (although not slaughtered the Muslim way with prayers), it’s halal irrespective of the way it was prepared. I’ve no qualms tossing and eating yee sang with chopsticks (been using them since I was a child).
February 6th, 2006 at 1:22 pm
Wah..damn alot of patience right you guys? If it was me or the BF, we would have made sarcastic remarks already. Are they like living in their own culture-less world or what? Goodness.
February 6th, 2006 at 1:55 pm
Ignoring respect
I’ve almost resigned to the fact that some people are born insensitive and there’s just no way to tell them that it’s rude to be insensitive. Some of these would of course fight to the death for that oxymoron called ‘freedom of speech’, but I shal…
February 6th, 2006 at 3:15 pm
I like the tossing yee sang part, but don’t like eating the yee sang itself. heehee.
February 6th, 2006 at 6:08 pm
……………….
and we’re not supposed to cringe when we hear their prayers/smell the oil because it’s rude.
I think it’s only fair that they give us respect the same as how we give them.
And i’m sorry if this sounded racist or religionist, but maybe people who want to be given tolerance and respect should learn to do the same as well.
February 6th, 2006 at 7:29 pm
I agree with Chenelle. They could have had at least the least bit sensitivity not to make such derogatory remarks.
Being ignorant of being ignorant.
February 6th, 2006 at 9:26 pm
Hi minishorts, maybe you wanna toss me instead?
February 6th, 2006 at 11:20 pm
“being ignorant, or being ignorant of being ignorant.”
o.O?
February 6th, 2006 at 11:59 pm
Are they (the kurangajarians) paying the bill? Or the rest of the world just vanished that particular day? Are they from Beverly Hills or some close relation of Paris Hilton?
Like any other Chinese would say, want to go make one sound, don’t want to go make two sound. That’s it. KNN…
February 7th, 2006 at 12:16 am
WOW. nasib baik i wasn’t there to choke them for you.
February 7th, 2006 at 6:53 am
have not tried ‘yee sang’ but would love to try that on my next trip. my philosophy is that raw fish must be fresh fish & hence it must be delicious!
February 7th, 2006 at 7:55 am
we had ‘yee sang’ last wednesday, all 81 of us. a total of 10 sets of yee sang in all. everyone enjoyed the tossing, malays, indians and caucasians alike. it’s an annual event for us. i remembered standing on a chair to toss, coz they said the higher you toss, the better, n i shouted for lots of stuff…n that was fun..food never fails to bring people together.
February 7th, 2006 at 9:48 am
yeah it’s a pity that some malaysians don’t know about other cultures…I have many of my own personal anecdotes like some people don’t even know what’s roti canai is or that the indians in Malaysia speak TAMIL!!! NOT HINDI…..although some people (a minuscule amount) speak hindi, the majority of them speak Tamil…ok..sorry….off topic…btw…I like Yee Sang….pity I can’t taste them in this kampung of Canada (I’m really in a ‘Canadian’ Kampung…..but they have the temerity to call it a city…go figure …)
sigh…I miss home..and I really miss all the malaysian food and Malaysian girls (in a good way ofcourse).
February 7th, 2006 at 9:50 am
oh..btw…just to add…I wouldn’t be as patient as you to those ignorant and rude fellows….good on you for being patient…well done!
February 7th, 2006 at 10:23 am
‘This is stupid. How can you use sticks to eat?’
This is not a comment of the ignorant, it is a comment of the selfish.
February 7th, 2006 at 3:37 pm
Well, you were all ignorant of K not liking raw fish and D not being able to use chop sticks … so, lots of ignorance happened that day.
But, now you know K does not like raw fish, K knows you can get Vegie Yee Sang, and you can all avoid that awkward situation.
D should learn to use choppy sticks … it’s fun even when you’re learning. I haven’t used any since moving from Sydney … which is close to three years now.
Most of us are ignorant to almost everything in the world and a lot of it we are ignorant of being ignorant about.
I know I was once ridiculed by some chemistry students at University as I didn’t know some aspects about Sulphuric Acid (which the average person wouldn’t know anyway. Unless you studied chemistry at a University level, you’d most likely be ignorant of the fact). Anyway, one of the students claimed ‘Everyone in the world knew’ what I was ignorant about. It never feels good to be the fish out of water. [I was a Physics student at the time].
So, we shouldn’t be too surprised when we come to situations where people have ignorance over things like that. I am a bit surprised about the chopsticks though, but, I would think they’d at least give the chopsticks a try.
It seems it isn’t the ignorance that is the issue here so much, as much as it was the reaction by K (fish bleuh!), being a little insensitive (or totally insensitive … I wasn’t, but obviously it offended some people) and the fact that D was so unwilling to be open to new experiences.
What’s in the vegie salad version?
February 7th, 2006 at 3:45 pm
Um.. Being ignorant necessitates being ignorant of being ignorant. : ) Happy CNY.
February 7th, 2006 at 3:48 pm
‘I wasn’t, but obviously it offended some people’
Sorry, that should have read
‘I wasn’t there, but obviously it offended some people’
The bold included to highlight the missing word.
February 7th, 2006 at 4:13 pm
hehehe, i would have just said, have it your way, we’re going for it anyhow
vegetarian yee sang usually uses bamboo shoots sliced thinly to imitate the fish.
anyhow if you don’t know how to use chopsticks and learn how to use them, ppl who know how to use them would be totally appreciative of you trying to learn their culture
like in japan, they use chopsticks most of the time, when i went over for a student exchange, and i used chopsticks (normal for us back home in m’sia) they were like, oh you know how to use chopsticks (beaming around happily)
i had a malay friend who went over on the student exchange too and she also knows how to use them sticks, and man were her host family happy with her.
February 7th, 2006 at 6:14 pm
‘Um.. Being ignorant necessitates being ignorant of being ignorant. ‘
lbandit - No, not at all. I’m ignorant of the procedures needed to be great brain surgeon, and thus i won’t try brain surgury on you, as I realise my ignorance.
When the Oracle at Delphi said that Socrates was the wisest man on earth, someone went up to Socrates and asked him how it was that he was wisest.
Socrates thought for a while and then replied that it was because he knew what he knew and knew when he didn’t know something.
Thus, we find that Socrates was wise as he didn’t assume he knew something he didn’t know. ie he was not ignorant of being ignorant.
Where as how many times do we assume, or think, we know something, or just don’t realise that we are ignorant of something?
That’s really what being ignorant of being ignorant is. Not knowing that we don’t know.
February 7th, 2006 at 6:22 pm
haha. funny!
February 7th, 2006 at 8:45 pm
I’d say being ignorant of being ignorant is worse.
You’re so patient. I need to learn to be so…I still have permanent PMS over a similar situation with a friend (who now is a former friend, I think). I cannot tahan people like that… usually I’ll chew their head off straight away…
February 9th, 2006 at 2:46 pm
could not understand… why such human being exists in this world… perhaps wimpish people pro-longed their existents.
February 10th, 2006 at 11:28 am
Plenty of disrespectfull ppl around the world especially around us. Most of them are ignorant and some are selfish and worst - some are arrogant. Think they are the only person sent to this world. Feel like taking their faces on both of my hands, shake it, and say, “Look at your fingers. They are of different length and so are ppl around the world”. I have had an incident where one of collegues said to another collegue in front of other colleagues, “You look so fat in that skirt, ha..ha..!” At that point of time I felt like sticking my middle finger on her face. Anyway, we did tell her off and she quit the company few months later.
BTW, my families are of different races and always looking forward to the different festivals and celebrations