just minishorts.

When I was 15 years old, I wasn't allowed to go out with guys at all. Valentine's Day was off limits, mind you. Even if I received a card from a secret admirer, I'd got to keep it underwraps… (I don't know about you, but my mum was pretty much anal about this.)

It's funny that I now recall this conversation that happened a little bit after Form 4. We had just got our PMR results, and Mum was telling me how important it is for me to focus on my studies.

'You must remember hoh, you cannot fall in love.'
'Huh?'
'All those guy friends you have, friend friend only okay. Cannot do funny things.'

Something in that vein. All the conversations I had with Mum would be steered towards THAT direction. As if I would do funny things with the guy-friends I had lah.

So even when I celebrated birthdays and the closer, platonic pals shared some dosh to give me a book, Mum would raise an eyebrow and ask me weird questions like, 'How come he gave you a book?'

'Errr… cos it's my birthday?'
'Yeah, and so?'
'So he gave me a book-lah.'
'You sure he's just a friend?'

Fast forward two years later, a bit after Form 5, when many of my girl-friends were dating guys already. Now I was still living in the no-boys zone, and Mum gave me a serious prep talk after I got my Form 5 results.

'Now let me tell you one thing. You're going into Form 6, and it's not a joke.'
'Yes Ma.'
'I know a lot of your friends are dating now, but I don't want that to happen to you.'
'All right.'
'Stop nodding like that.'
'What do you want me to do?'
'Promise me.'
'You think wanna date that means can date izzit?'

So what happened was this. No dates. Nada. I made friends of course, and hell. It's easy NOT to get a date when you look like I did. Ask Nick. He'd vouch for me that kind of nerd I was in high-school. All right, maybe if I can find some old photos I'll upload them in another post. Later.

Fast forward another two years, I got out of Form 6, and WAS SECRETLY dating someone. SERIOUSLY. I had to do it in secret, because a bit after the STPM, my mum gave me another prep talk. And then also, I was a wee bit of a desperate babe-wannabe, suddenly somebody finds me attractive enough to want to date me, so mah date date and see lah.

'Look I need you to know something.'
'Yes Ma.'
'You're out of school.'
'Yes.'
'And I don't want you in a relationship until you're 22.'
'WHAT?'
'You heard me.'
'But 22!!'
'I AM YOUR MOTHER AND YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME.'

So obviously I didn't listen. I, err, went on my very first official Valentine's Date, by telling Mum I was going out with friends. And the friends helped, of course. It wasn't until half a year later that I told her I was going out with someone seriously. She didn't exactly blow up. After that I was free to go dating I guess, and she'd be very very nosey about the guys I go out with.

…

Fast forward many, many years later, I'm in my … err…third relationship, I think. (Someone correct me if I'm wrong.) Mum's so different now. She actually reminded me last week, that I had better get to buying that gift for Eric.

'It's Valentine's Day, dear. Have you bought your boyfriend his gift?'

How times have changed, no?

First I fucking get to the gym at 630 am only to take a bloody shower and rush back to the neighbourhood to pass a key card to my boyfriend.

Then I get to the office and got my heels stuck in between the lift doors for several fucking seconds. And then we realize that the stupid fucking connection in the office is so sibeh cacat, I keep getting logged in and out of the system.

Then my fucking MSN MESSENGER cuts me off and requires me to enter a password…

THEN MY FRICKIN DEEP FRIED BRAIN DECIDES TO BAIL OUT ON ME and I FUCKING FORGET the password to my hotmail account.

SO… I opt to recall my password, only to find out that stupid hotmail's Captcha system is so fucking pathetic it doesn't work on Firefox… so I have to fucking do the AUDIO CAPTCHA instead. And then AFTER I RESET THE STUPID PASSWORD, it fucking says I've got to log into Hotmail in order to reset my password.

STUPID KNNCB *()$#(*(!)@#!!!! IF I WERE ABLE TO LOG IN TO HOTMAIL I WOULDN'T HAVE FORGOTTEN MY PASSWORD, AND I WOULDN'T BE FUCKING ASKING TO RESET MY PASSWORD INSTEAD!!! KNNCBMCHTNMSH!!!

SO THEN, I try to do the stupid security question system… and I fucking forget which part of the United States I come from. OK this one my fault also, six months ago I changed my details to say I come from the states so that I could get 250MB worth of hotmail email space. So because of that I can't fucking retrieve my password unless I can sign into my hotmail account but because I've forgotten my password to the hotmail account I can't fucking sign in, and because of that all the names in my address book compiled over the past 10 years have gone down the fucking drain because I now have to sign up for a new Passport.

CELAKA betul. If you used to be on my list please mail me at minishorts (at) gmail (dot) com with your contact details. Thank you for understanding.

You could have come to get it from me instead, after all, you're chauffeuring your friend to KL for work, and Mid Valley was in the way.

And then you told me last week that you wanted to take me out this week, but well, because obviously other things are far more important than an expensive dinner, the dinner ought to be postponed.

See, the last time you forgot to return my parking card, I went all the way to your place just to pick it up, because you were rushing to work. But you didn't wait for me, and I got it from the maid instead.

This round, again, you forgot to pick up your key, and I came all the way to your place just to return it to you, and you waited for me, because see, you needed it to get to work…

A breakfast, and a drink to make me happy? I could do without the taunts, thank you very much. I could do without the jokes. I could do without a lot of things. But actually, occasionally, I can do without the things that matter, but I'd rather not anticipate, and then be let down. I can accept that SOMETIMES, but not always, and especially not on occasions like this. Sometimes you really test my patience, and like now, today you make me feel like an utter wretch and a bloody idiot, so no, thank you very much. Not at all.

You fucking ruined my Monday.