A cup of flattened egoes

Tuesday, February 14th, 2006 @ 10:26 am | Gender-bender

One of the worst things about gaining weight, is the increased waistline. It's the after-effects of the New Year celebrations, I tell you, and right now, the abdominal crunches don't seem to work, just yet.

And for me, unfortunately, gaining weight doesn't mean gaining an increased cup size. Because only my waist line has increased, my cup-size has decreased too. This is NOT empowering at all. It's not like I like huge boobies all that much, but at least, I want to look like I'm proportionately endowed, or at least, pretend that I look like I have appealing boobs.

It's embarassing, yes, but I've been reduced from a B to an A. Not that B is anything to be proud of, but at least they look like something. A is just… flat. Airplane driveways. Like little slopes instead of visible bumps. Even my mum thinks they're pathetic. Yesterday I was about to go out to dinner in a sleeveless top when Mum decided she'd give her two sen on my assets.

'Wait, I think you should go and change your bra.'
'Huh?'
'You look like you're wearing nothing. SO FLAT.'
'But Ma…'
'Go get that Wonderbra of yours… the one with the extra padding.'
'But… but… but…'
'GO AND GET IT. YOU LOOK LIKE A LOG IN THAT.'

So on occasions, I think that my mother is too open for my liking.

Last night, after dinner, Eric and I decided to go to the Metrojaya Relocation Sale at Section 14 to see if we could get any great deals. Place is a complete mess, but if you look long enough, you'll be able to fish out some gems. Like the slinky, spaghetti strap, figure hugging dress I saw, which I think would be great to wear to a wedding at the end of the month. So, you know, you have a boyfriend, you get to ask his opinion when you try things on.

This dress I found was cut really low down the front, so you get to show off a bit of a cleavage… FORTUNATELY, I still have A LITTLE BIT of that lah…. and that's better than nothing right? I slipped in, got out of the room, and asked the bf, 'What do you think?'

'Looks okay.'
'Can I buy it?'
'Errr…'
'What?'
'Front a bit flat lor.'

See I don't quite mind honesty, but this is just rubbing salt in the wound. You think those bust-enhancing creams work?

39 Responses to “A cup of flattened egoes”

  1. Jeremy C Says:

    aiyaiyai… i can only offer words of comfort to you - i’ve heard from somewhere that if you caonstantly talk to them (or even massage them), they’ll eventually grow bigger… how true it is, i’ve no idea but i guess it’s worth a try.

    Happy Valentine’s Day, Claire!

  2. minishorts Says:

    Jeremy: i’ll look like a walking nutcrap if i constantly talk to them…

  3. spiller Says:

    More sex, more hormones :P

  4. Mei Says:

    Cup sizes decrease coz of loss of fat. So heh.

    Well, the makan remedies include chicken feet, potatoes, chicken neck, papaya and etc. The touch remedy is to massage them. The gym remedy is to AVOID exercising the chest area.

    Take your pick lor. ^_^

  5. eddyhan Says:

    I stay quite close to section 14 so I was there. You should’ve gone there a few weeks back. So much more goodies with 50-60% discounts.

    East India, shoes, bags, pants.

    So damn blardee cheapo.

    I guess the aunties were not that ganas yesterday. You should see what I saw.

  6. sic6sense Says:

    at least you can be assured you’ll be looked in the eye in a conversation.

  7. Jeebs Says:

    I got a friend that went from flat to C cup in like a year. Her secret was that she used a waist massager, not on her waist, but on her boobs. You know those vibrating things you put on your belly (u zap from osim?)

    But of course that was when she was young and still growing (form 4)

  8. minishorts Says:

    Jeebs: suddenly i’ve got images of vibrating boobs in my head. ARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!

  9. The other kenny Says:

    plastic surgery works wonder… but of course you will want it to grow naturally instead of being called the silicon valley…

    try massaging gua.. at some time the government in Thailand promoting it to their flat-chest people to prevent them from taking plastic surgery.. don’t know if that works though…

  10. eyeris Says:

    am surprised that Eric is still alive after THAT remark… heehee…

  11. vincent Says:

    Eyeris, how you know he still alive?

    hehehe…

  12. Vincent Says:

    Eh… Sorry ~ but, how does a breast size drop from a B to A?? Only way I know is exercise gone astray.

  13. Imran Says:

    Those bust enhancement creams do work, but what if one boob is bigger than the other after using it? Ever thought of that?

  14. The other kenny Says:

    Imran : then you should start rubbing it extra on the smaller ones gua.. until it balance

  15. ah pek Says:

    but sometimes, i prefer flatness.

  16. Max Says:

    A,B or C as long as it’s nice ok wat…..

  17. wenJun Says:

    Two (2) solutions that i can think of:

    1: Go for a breast inplant, think you could afford it by now

    2: Get pregnant. This is what my gf told me. Girls’ breast will ‘grow’ bigger after they give birth to their first birth. The exact reason i am not sure. But something to do with breast feeding or something. Seriously, this is true.

  18. chengsim Says:

    woah. can actually reduced from a B to an A one ar?
    hrm. i dunno if those bust-enhancing cream work but go ahead and try it!
    then blog about it.

  19. Anon Says:

    A couple of friends tried birth control pills, apart from not getting pregnant, your boobs get bigger. Also eat a bowl of rice right before you sleep. (i’ve been told I’m way too skinny and underendowed. :P Be glad you’ve got boobs.

  20. Max Says:

    those cream gotta urut it wan

  21. Kapitan Karsinoma Says:

    topic of the day: claire’s boobs.

    interesting.

  22. melancholy_baby Says:

    Does boobs-massaging really work? Damn, and I used to wonder why my boobs kept getting bigger. lol.

  23. senbai Says:

    have you tried the papaya sup? LOL

  24. Dabido (Teflon) Says:

    Your boobs smaller than mine!!!!
    [Which says a lot about my man boobs more than it says about your lack of boobs! Argh! No support .. where is my Manziere! Or is it a Bro?] :-)

  25. Saygore Says:

    flat breast do have advantage over large boobs. it doesn’t sag !
    i prefer smaller size. i always give the commet to my gf in similar occasions that she is flat but i do add that i like it small. but the result is i get bruises on my hands and legs… gals don’t like guys to be frank over boobs sizes.

  26. Eric Says:

    Happy Valentine’s Day minishorts. I luv your hair and everything else! muacks!:razz:

  27. CarolineL Says:

    Whether it’s A, B or C, I don’t think it matters much. As long as you know how to carry and dress up yourself, you’re beautiful in any size.

  28. Kuzco Says:

    Want so big for what? Eric like can already lah.

  29. Kenny Says:

    Time to change minishorts to miniboobs.

    Anyway, I heard pumping them with air works.

  30. shawn Says:

    take care not to use light gases, lest you get floating balloons =) Anyway, boobs don’ matter much. Look presentable like you always are, then our eyes won’t start wandering.

  31. PinPin Says:

    I think there may be some misconceptions in the comments.

    Birth control pills make changes to your hormones and some ladies get fat after taking it — and thus the increased bust line.

    Small boobs still sag. No one can defy gravity. Just that smaller boobs may take longer time to sag than bigger ones. Also, sagging big boobs are more apparently than smaller ones and thus the misconception.

    Not sure if bust-enhancing creams work. Messaging for sure works but you gotta do it consistently. So i think bust-enhancing creams work mainly because of the messaging and not by itself.

  32. PinPin Says:

    Heehee, i meant “massaging”. Must be doing too much MSN-ing… :P

  33. minishorts Says:

    PinPin, now you’ve said it, i’m glad i’m such an avid ‘messenger’ haha.

  34. PinPin Says:

    Ya, don’t you just wish that the size of the boobs can increase with the amount of time spent on MSN?! :P

  35. minishorts Says:

    PinPin: Hell no. then i’ll bloom to a size E! :lol:

  36. Paul Tan Says:

    minishorts = http://japundit.com/archives/2005/08/04/968/

  37. sabrina Says:

    Try http://www.sbsproducts.com

    It works and has no side effects at all but it takes slightly longer time. Just don’t expect it to grow to D. Maybe an inch or two in 6 months. Good enough.

  38. PinPin Says:

    Here’s what the FDA scientists tell us: “For decades, millions of dollars have been spent on devices, creams, and lotions advertised as breast developers, all wasted. There is no device or system of exercise that will increase the size of the breasts. At best, devices promoted as breast developers merely strengthen and develop the muscles that support the breasts, and exercising these muscles will not really increase breast size.”

    Source: http://www.center4research.org/breastcream.html

    Just another perspective. Not sure if it’s true.

  39. dailymuscle.com Says:

    Will Exercise Make My Breasts Smaller?

    The answer is quite simply - NO. Developing your pectorals(chest muscles) won’t make your breasts smaller. Many of you would have heard this tale countless number of times, but let me tell you now that this is yet another myth about women&#821…

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