just minishorts.

I just had the most God-awful experience on the phone!!

See I'm always apprehensive when the Caller ID on the screen says, 'Withheld'. Usually it means some guy from some company is calling me up to sell some product. This time it's a girl. But it took me like one whole bloody minute to realize where she was calling from and later, what the fuck she was talking about.

DAMN I hate being rude on the phone. But This time, CITIBANK has really outdone itself. Good golly, if anyone who works in Citbank here is reading this, I'm sorry, but the people in your Telemarketing department really, really need to learn some conversational skills.

See it took me like 3 bloody times of asking, 'Excuse me' to realize that this girl was calling from Citibank. Even then, it was almost impossible to interrupt the girl because the chick didn't seem to know that when you're in a telephone conversation, you damn hell need to wait for your turn before you continue to speak.

After saying the classic 'Citibank' line, she told me her name, and went on to mumble a very long sentence which made no bloody sense to me at all. SHE SOUNDED AS IF SHE STUFFED AN ENTIRE DONUT INTO HER MOUTH and pushed all the accents of the world into a single sentence in an effort to sound educated damn it. And because I didn't, for the love of God, I couldn't get any inkling of wtf she was blabbing about, I had no choice but to go, 'I'm sorry, but could you repeat that?'

She went, 'Yes,' and then proceeded to wait for a WHOLE ETERNITY before going on again, 'OK I SHALL GO ON.'

GOOD LORD, WHICH PART OF 'Could you repeat that?' is so fucking hard to understand damn it? So I said it again, 'I said, I don't understand what you're saying. Can you say it again?'

And then again,' Yes,' and the eternity pause. Then she goes and say this awfully clever line, hu-hu, 'Ok , would you prefer to speak in Chinese or Malay?'

LIKE WTF? I want to speak in English lah damn it. I said, 'Er. I'd rather speak in English.'

Then again, 'Yes,' and ANOTHER ETERNITY PAUSE!! AND THEN, TO TOP IT OFF, she didn't even pass the phone to someone who COULD be more eloquent than her, she just CONTINUED WITH READING HER PREPARED TELEPHONIST SCRIPT, and then I caught the words, 'PROTECTION PLAN', and by then I had to bloody scream into the phone.

'Stop stop stop stop, you're saying 'Protection plan'?'
'Yes, Propecdon plan.'
'OK.'
'Are you free now?'
'Not really.'
'OK THIS PROPECDON PLAN IS..'
'I said I'm NOT free. And I don't understand what you're saying.'
'OH OK you free at what time?'
'Call me back after work.. Maybe seven.'

Asswipes says I'll buy your stupid protection plan, damn it. Get a good telephonist first, else how the fuck am I going to be convinced that you'll do a good job protecting the things I buy if you can't even employ people who speak understandable English?!

A few years back (and I reckon still in sparse practice), there was this trend of listing down a blogger's wishlist in the sidebar. Somewhere along the way, the trends changed and besides, many bloggers don't want to portray themselves as too materialistic, I suppose.

But come on, come on. Since Vincent has so vehemently called your bluff, be a good sport and admit it. Within everyone of us, there is a wishlist, and yes, some of the things in it are obnoxiously expensive. It's greedy materialism, but it's there nonetheless, so why lie and say that 'All I want, really, is world peace.' Unless of course you're a prince's son, and you can get anything you want in your wishlist yah, don't play Miss Universe.

So here you go. Mine.

Panasonic Lumix DMC-FX 9
Nokia 7380
Anna Rice's Christ The Lord: Out of Egypt
DKNY: Be Delicious EDP
Inspiron 630m
This Shu Uemura Professional Brush Set it's USD 450!! How to afford this?
This Shu Uemura Portable Brush Set also can do. USD 159 only. Hu-Hu.
A Coach Soho Suede Large Hobo
This Tiffany & Co. cross pendant + the chain
A DeBeers Round Solitaire Ring, preferably of Clarity F and Grade D… Heh.

Man. I'll take a lifetime acquiring all of the above. And then I'll definitely keep adding to the list.

I had *almost* wanted to put my list in the sidebar, but for fear of being labelled 'materialistic', I decided to dedicate an entire post to it instead. Or maybe, in my mind's eye I've been salivating over the products for quite far too long. Then again, I quite fancy the idea that many of my readers, I presume, work in places that would probably know how I could get these things at better deal. So hey, if you have some, I don't know, staff-discounts ke, company warehouse-sales ke, goodie-bag rejects ke, write and tell me, all right? You know my mail. Or here it is, shamelessly: minishort [at] gmail [dot] com.