And when I touch you I feel happy inside
Excuse me for a day, please, because today I'm going to pretend to be a smart-ass know-it-all. That's just because occasionally, I AM YOUR MOST RELIABLE AGONY AUNT, and when it comes how how to get the girl, occasionally, I'm pretty well-enabled to provide you with some valuable methods.
But really, when the Pianist asks you what he ought to get for a girl he likes, you just have to pull out the resources and do your best to provide help, in any way possible. And then he asked me, 'But really, Claire, if you had a choice, what's a good gift to receive?'
'I don't know. Maybe a bottle of perfume. Wait a minute, what's your budget?'
'Somewhere below a hundred.'
'Awww… I was thinking DKNY's Be Delicious.'
Of course that was entirely fuelled by personal reasons, so I told him this, 'She'll turn out smelling like green apples, quite sexy you know.'
He went to look for the bottle and came back to tell me it cost a little bit over RM250. 'I don't want to scare her with something too extravagant.'
Well, that's fair, and in the end he got her something less lavish, but still above his initial budget of RM100. I'm not going to tell you what it is here, lest she, errr, reads my blog, and realizes that the Pianist is after her.
A few days after Valentine's, I asked the Pianist if it worked. It pleased me to know that the results were pretty much fantastic as the girl actually asked him out for a Valentine's dinner AND a midnight movie.
'That's good. Did you hold her hand?'
'No! You xiao ah?'
'What you mean I'm xiao? No, heck, how many times have you been out together?'
'Urm, a few times, I guess.'
'And izzit always a one-on-one date?'
Sometimes dates come in packs… I once knew someone who thought he would stand out by asking the girl of his dreams to be his girlfriend at a weekend party with the varsity mates. Needless to say, he was a complete failure.
The Pianist told me they'd gone out alone a few times, previously, and it was always one-on-one.
'And you've never held her hand. '
'No.'
'Like what are you waiting for, dude?'
'Cannot so fast lah. Scare her away then how.'
'NO, way, you HAVE TO HOLD HER HAND. Like, what's wrong with you, man? How long do you want to take? Another ten dates?'
'Well maybe. I don't know.'
'Eh, she'll be thinking what's wrong with you and then some guy will come along and that's it lah.'
'I don't know lah.'
'Aiyoh you DON'T HAVE TO KNOW much to grab her hand lah, just take it.'
'Cannot just take like that lah, must ask first.'
'Then ask lah.'
'I don't know how to ask her.'
Now here's the thing that boggles me. Izzit really, really, THAT necessary to say it aloud, 'Please be my girlfriend?'
Really, really, really? Really! Those are merely formalities, and formalities can be oh so boring. I mean, you've ALWAYS heard about the girl who tells you how she's cornered in a car, where the two of them are alone, and then he asks, 'So what do you think, can we get together?'
Variations of the same kind include, 'Would you like to spend time with me exclusively, me as your boyfriend?'
'Can I fuck you?' 'Can I be your boyfriend?' 'Will you let me fuck you?' 'Will you be my girlfriend?'
SO. VERY. BORING. AND. UNORIGINAL.
'Come come, now,' I told the Pianist. 'Look, does she wear a bracelet?'
'No, hey. I'm not sure. Maybe. Why?'
'Well, well, you can very well use the bracelet as a technique, you know?'
'Like huh? How?'
'You know, you take her to somewhere NORMAL for a meal, it doesn't have to be expensive, and you, you know, test the water by looking at her wrist for a bit. And then, you compliment her on her bracelet, or bangle, or whatever she has there. Her watch also can.'
'Uh-huh.'
'And then you reach out, and ever so slightly, touch her wrist…'
'WAH LAU EH, WHERE CAN LIKE THAT?!!'
But come on, everybody knows that the wrists are hotspots that trigger the heart to beat wildly.
'Why not?' I said. 'Trust me it works. You pretend to adjust the bracelet, and make sure you have skin-contact, and then, keeping your eye on her wrist, you ask her, with a quiet sigh, "Do you like it when I do this?"… bao she will fall for it.'
'Wahlao…Sure or not.'
'Confirm can.'
'You experienced this before izzit.'
Hehe. I'm not telling. But really, let's all wish the Pianist some luck. Or share some tips. Whatever rocks, and whatever works, please.
February 21st, 2006 at 8:37 am
haha…good one…i guess cleavage showing top wasnt cut low enuff coz by d end of d date…d guy offerred me a hug only
February 21st, 2006 at 8:40 am
Boring or not, a lot of girls like it. IMHO, it shows some thought on the guy’s part and not the whole “I took it for granted that we were a couple already”. [Or perhaps it's just me. I got asked.
]
February 21st, 2006 at 8:56 am
wow he’s like… tooo polite.
be spontaneous dude! then again not encouraging him to jump in and take a bite of her neck…
February 21st, 2006 at 9:04 am
“…You pretend to adjust the bracelet, and make sure you have skin-contact, and then, keeping your eye on her wrist, you ask her, with a quiet sigh…”
Pianist: “Do you like it when I do this?” (eyes excessively beaming with an impending rejection)
(If the girl smiles wide…then…keep holding her hand and occasionally finger-touch the wrist)
Pianist: “Look…I’ve been meaning to tell you this. I like you a lot. I really do.”
(If the girl doesn’t say anything…stunned or shocked…then all is quiet…)
Pianist: “I guess what I’ve been trying to find out is what you think of me…but that’s alright. I just wanted you to know I really like you.”
Cheers!
February 21st, 2006 at 9:40 am
eh you know the last time you were posting about this guy who told the girl that this particular (another) guy loves her one and tells her to go for it but it end up badly one? And you said you hate that guy for being such an smart ass one?
well you do seem to be like the guy now…….. O_O
February 21st, 2006 at 9:41 am
Mehhhhhh your fonts damn kau small.. my eyes painnnnnnnn.
February 21st, 2006 at 9:50 am
kenny: you doink you got the story wrong. my last story was about how a guy asked a girl to tell the guy she likes him. this story is about me telling a GUY to tell a GIRL that HE LIKES HER. you got problems with differentiating gender izzit? *piaks*
February 21st, 2006 at 9:52 am
how old did u say you were? these tips are as good as 13 yr old’s.
February 21st, 2006 at 10:58 am
minishorts, are your tips derived from actual life experience? haha!
February 21st, 2006 at 11:33 am
pianist: take a chance, dude. seriously. if you keep her janging on too long, she’s drift away.
February 21st, 2006 at 11:54 am
is he a virgin?
February 21st, 2006 at 12:05 pm
heheh…the pianist first time courting a girl, is it? gotta give him credit, the first time is always a harrowing experience…
February 21st, 2006 at 12:47 pm
That’s a killer. Never heard that one before. It’s true that the majority of guys just blabbers like a school girl with the “time” comes around. Most unoriginal thing to do is to hold her hand while crossing the street.
Uber 1970s.
February 21st, 2006 at 12:50 pm
Aura: or the yawn in the cinema and the arm around her shoulders. that’s 1940s haha.
February 21st, 2006 at 1:14 pm
okay, the point is you’re doing the same thing as that guy has done mah, it’s not about gender lah… get the picture?? XD
February 21st, 2006 at 1:20 pm
Eh..that 1940s style of putting arms around shoulder still works man. Bugger, Naz invited me to his place to watch DVD (not the first time)..skali I leaned forward to take water, his right arm was ever ready at the back for me to lean on adi…cheapo!
Never did like the, “Can you be my girlfriend” question. Migawd. Need to ask meh? Let your body do the talking man!
February 21st, 2006 at 1:28 pm
Can I test the water instead looking at her wrist I look at her chest, Than I compliment her on her dress and ask her what bra she wear?
Minishorts like this can mai?
February 21st, 2006 at 2:19 pm
Wow… another great post !!!
But really not v easy to ask a ger straight… a bit like marriage proposal but slightly more difficult.
Think marriage proposals are easier cos usually by then, the “rice is already cooked”
February 21st, 2006 at 4:10 pm
Haha I guess that I used to have the same personality as Pianist’s before. I think it’ll be more convincing to hold hands once the couple know that they heart each other. Like wise said, different people have different thinking. Who knows that the girl assumed that the Pianist’s just her best friend or something. So yea, it’s kinda difficult to tell whether the girl likes him or not. Love can be tricky sometimes. Anyway, good luck to him!
February 21st, 2006 at 4:20 pm
haiyor…she’s so willing to go out on dates with him, doesnt suddenly cancel dates, AND asked him out on valentine’s. wut does she have to do? strip naked, lie on her back with her legs in the air? of course, then pianist would probably go:
pianist: aiyor…cannot lah. i don’t know u that well enuff yet. hold ur hand oso not yet. slow-slow lah.
what’s this guys problem? jesus. just try it already, and see wut hapens.
February 21st, 2006 at 4:45 pm
the other kenny:
minishorts is right. gender matters la woi … so in this situation what minishorts is doing is different compared to what that other guy did
February 21st, 2006 at 5:29 pm
Brother Pianist, you have my best wishes and because I don’t believe in luck, the most appropriate thing for me to say is: All The Best!
Minishorts: You really got BALLZ when it comes to things like this… *Sweat*
February 21st, 2006 at 6:08 pm
*LMAO* i guess my advice is go for the action without any question asked. if she rejects, at least he got to hold her wrist for a bit mah…
February 21st, 2006 at 6:55 pm
WARNING Mr Pianist. You risk entering the dreaded FRIEND ZONE!
February 21st, 2006 at 8:33 pm
this is funny. wah… but very true la…
hmmm the question “do u like it when I do this?”.. sounded like foreplay…
hehe
well without the question, i think I will fall for the wrist-touching already.. hehehe..
but this pianist… seriously.. too shy and too polite… hehehe
February 21st, 2006 at 9:12 pm
Which part you want to touch?
February 21st, 2006 at 9:36 pm
Paul Tan: Why not ask it a different way?
like:
“Which part would you let me touch?”
February 21st, 2006 at 10:22 pm
Hmm…nobody tried that on me yet. I don’t mind. Hahaha! Come come, I love to wear bracelets and bangles. Adjust for me??
February 21st, 2006 at 10:32 pm
Hello…i came across ur blog from a link on lainie’s site…
i do like the layout, and ur writing has a rather supple quality, it bends and moves according to the many things that happen in ur life. it is interesting, fresh and honest.
hope u continue with the writing and sharing.
all the best!
February 22nd, 2006 at 9:33 am
the experience, have i had it? maybe. laters, and petrina, that is by far the sweetest thing anyone has said about my writing. thanks!
February 22nd, 2006 at 11:07 am
kapitan,
Cant u see? Pianist got every bit to lose here if he skrew up.
February 22nd, 2006 at 11:09 am
nekokun: i think what both captain carcinogen and i mean is, if you’re so afraid of losing and screwing up, then don’t bother trying. there’re risks in everything, and NOTHING is sexier than a risk-taker (who calculates the risks properly).
February 22nd, 2006 at 11:37 am
minis and kapitan,
He is afraid coz she (and her happiness of coz) mean everything to him. Skrewing it up, could mean losing what he and her have now and maybe more. What worst is, he could unintentionally hurt her in some unintentional way, which is something our fren here are not willing risk.
February 22nd, 2006 at 11:58 am
It’s so easy for guys to just ask ger to be ur gf and then 2 weeks later (after guys get tired)….. break up !
If this is the kinda of r/s, then of course, it will be easy to ask / tell ger that u like her, hold her hands etc. But if the guy is giving it a serious thot, then it takes more than courage. Well, I don’t think Mr P is not a risk-taker but rather, he cares enuff for the ger to consider her feelings.
Maybe, it’s true that gers dun like such nice guys after all !!
February 22nd, 2006 at 1:59 pm
‘ when it comes how how to get the girl, occasionally, I’m pretty well-enabled to provide you with some valuable methods.
Ug! no more hit on head with club, drag back to cave!
New modern method. hit on head wityh piano drag back to cave!
”I don’t know how to ask her.”
Um … er … seems as you’re standing there completely naked begging me for sex, I was wondering if I can hold your hand?
[Yeah, never seems to work for me either ... something about me not getting a hint! Wonder what they really want?]
‘you compliment her on her bracelet, or bangle, or whatever she has there.’
That’s a nice chastity belt. May I hold your … um … hand!?
[Must try this method!]
‘But come on, everybody knows that the wrists are hotspots that trigger the heart to beat wildly.’
Not as much as the electrodes to the testicles!
“Do you like it when I do this?”
*knee to testicles*
‘Owwwww! I guess not! how about if I do this … ‘
Ah, the memories of youth!
February 22nd, 2006 at 3:04 pm
How bout asking him to sing “I want to hold your hands” frm Beatles?
February 22nd, 2006 at 11:22 pm
Ok will try on my next ‘victim’. Bwahaha. Ahem.
February 23rd, 2006 at 12:52 am
and NOTHING is sexier than a risk-taker (who calculates the risks properly).
amen.
February 28th, 2006 at 11:24 am
wah lau..Pianist too slow liao lar
after a few dates can try to hold waist liao
a few more dates can go book hotel room liao lar
Haha
March 6th, 2006 at 5:00 pm
I’m hooked, Minishorts. I think you’re very brave to articulate your inner devil-angel fights for everyone to read. It’s honest, fresh, and funny. I clicked on your site from the hobbit… I mean Elaine’s. Oh, and I heard the Mount Kinabalu proposal story in person, from my friend who is the bride’s cousin.
“So cibai type of feller oso got!!” was the general consensus, but I’m sure everyone (except me of course) is secretly hoping that their girlfriends will be so touched too. Bunch of pussies.
Anyway Pianist, whenever you’re out with the girl, and you’re having fun, you inevitably will get her to laugh, and whenever she does that, always ask,”are you having fun?” She’ll reply yes happily. Do this a few times and then change it to “are you having fun with me?” and playfully(she thinks) just hold her hand. After that(very important!!!) don’t let go. If she goes along, you’re already In like Flynn. If she looks at you questioningly, give her a big smile and pretend that you’re having fun too(you’re definitely not. You’re sweating your ass off at this point I know) and see what happens. If she pulls away(she won’t you moron. She’s gone on a valentine’s date and midnight movie with you), kick yourself in the balls and throw yourself off the twin towers.
Better do it soon my friend. You’re drifting into the Friend Zone…..
March 6th, 2006 at 10:37 pm
My friend, not me. His name is puay seong.